Never Ending Cycle –

I know…I know its been a very long time since I posted…no excuses…but I do have to see that kids take a lot of your time…not that I am complaining….just that a 7-year old and a 6 month old sure do require a lot of attention…actually that is the topic of my blog today…so.

“Why do kids want to learn the hard way?”

Hopefully this won’t turn out to be a philosophically topic and I don’t mean it to be…it’s something I have noticed since been married and of course since having kids. Of course I don’t base my ideas on only my family, but other families that I have come in contact with since one of my kids goes to school. I find it interesting how much you become interactive with your kids lives and there friends and families…you begin to notice things…and then it actually brought me to my question or this topic.

As parents we only want the best for our children and most of us do our parts as parents…I mean that with the most out respect, but there are some parents out there that seriously don’t care…that’s the only word I could see fit. So anyhow, we care about our kids, and we always tell them the story about how we walked in the rain for miles to get to school, or how, fortunate you have a warm meal…because when I was growing up I didn’t know where my next meal would come from; these were some of the many stories we would tell our kids…amazing huh.

It seems to work for the time being…you might just get them to eat the veggies, but it seems you have to do it every day or every other day…the same story, then we get tired of arguing and repeating so we start on the punishment…”ok…so…you don’t want to eat your veggies…then no dessert for you”. I mean this is just a simple…thing…and many parents tell me…”Oh come on…nothing is going to happen to them if they don’t eat the veggie”. But its not about eating the veggies…its about teaching our kids how to explore and try new things, foods, sports, because in life you will find that you’ll have to do things you don’t like…everyone of us does it somewhere somehow with something…you can’t deny…so why not start from an early age to teach them while they are young. Come on…unless they are allergic to the food…nothing will happen to them if they eat it…we need to teach them.

And you the best is when I get parents tell me…”Well I don’t like fish…so my kid doesn’t like fish”...wow…I was so shocked…I couldn’t believe that…seriously….I know…I know…to each there own…but we are talking about another human being that is like a white canvas…ready to make a mark in life and because you don’t like fish….ok once again if you are allergic…its possible they are…but that is something that needs to be checked to see if they are…I mean don’t deprive our kids of all the wonderful things in life…always making sure they are ok…by try.

I know as kids grow…they go through the exact same things we did…you know Teenagers…we are fearless…superman like…nothing can hurt us. They never seems to want to hear what we have to say…you did it, I did it, other have definitely did…we just don’t listen. Yet ask yourself something…”if you knew then what you know now…could you imagine the possibilities”. So why not teach our kids…what we know...why not start from an early age and tell them…son/daughter…if I knew then what I know now…it would be different…so listen to me so you can be a better person than me.

I always try to explain things to my son, letting him know that I wish for him to be a better man than me…to not pick up my bad habits and to ask me and learn from me as much as he can. I think starting off early could lead to a more confident, well rounded person. I know it seems like an uphill battle…but if we just gave up…then we just give up on them…and I truly don’t think any parents want to give up on their kids…well most I believe wish for their kids to grow up and be a better person….I didn’t say a doctor, lawyer or physicist…just a better person.

You know I have a brother in law…that always tells e to let my son be a kid…and not to get on him so much. He does that…so he says…he has two daughters…oldest is a straight A student and cheerleader…looks like she wants to head into college. The second one well…not doing to well, always jealous of the oldest…and well...you get the picture. Now, funny he get on my case..but I have seeing a few times where he has gotten tough with his oldest…you know…the…let me ask my dad if I can go to the party…around my uncle…he won’t say no. Well he does say no and he gets on them…so…the whole let them be…hmmm…on his part…I think not. I have another brother in law…with 9 kids…and well…some are nice…but it’s like a mad house…no order…no control…nothing. My brother…it seems his son was a perfect angel…did good in school, played sports, but when he got out of high school…he started on drugs, alcohol, time in jail…I always looked at my brother and thought I hope I am as good as a parent as him…but then it all went to…well. I know there can be factors, families splitting up, bad divorces, influential friends, and so on and so on. But parents, whether married or single…there is an abundance of information out there to help all parents…teach them…be their for them…listen…explain, don’t yell…and always handle things with a gentle hand.

I am not saying that all families are the same…but if you look close enough…we all go through it….you yell they don’t listen they keep doing it…and then they have kids…they yell…their kids don’t listen…and it goes on and on. Ask your neighbor…I did…they told my how there two daughters always tested them (the word every one uses)…they yelled…”stop running you’re going to fall…and BAM…they fall”. We do that with our children…one thing or another.

Of course I have been told…”Well you know that every one is different and no one kids is the same” or “Well I don’t live in a nice house or neighborhood or I can’t give my kid piano lessons”. But if you step back and look whether in a huge house, small house, a bad neighborhood, or good neighborhood, whether you are a doctor or a fry cook….look at our lives…our children never seems to listen, I am not saying there are a few exception out there…but that’s just it…there are a few exceptions out there…so why can we do it? And I mean why can’t we do it…is why do we as kids don’t feel like listening…learning from someone older…only looking for your best interests.

So, is it in our genes…meaning as kids we just don’t listen…or want to learn from our parent or adults. Imagine your kids sitting down with you and asking you everything you know about life…the mistakes you made the things that turn out right…how you handle the first broken heart…because we all go through it…imagine that…kids listening…and then taking your advise...I have thought about it and maybe it’s the delivery of the advise or the thing we want them to stop doing…maybe if we did it in a more gentler or a more fun method of explaining…hmm not sure…just thinking out loud.

It’s crazy and I am probably making no sense at all now…so many thoughts…so many ideas…and so many families in the same situation. If they would only want to learn, and have fun as kids at the same time…its possible…its just getting them…our kids…to actually follow our advise through out life…or at least for their first 18 years.

Thanks for reading, I'll try and post more often...I'll try.

The Bad Trip

Welcome to another Post…I know…its definitely being a while, but things are so busy…I have to give it to those that can post everyday or every other day…just can’t seem to find the time…but I am here now and with an interesting topic.

Now, a few weekends ago I headed down to Ensenada Baja California. This was the first time I have been there by myself since I have been married. My significant other is from Ensenada and well…since we have a new born she didn’t want to take the risk of taking her down there to young…so she encouraged me to go and represent…sort of speaking. So…I was extremely reluctant…I really don’t like the border on the way back…but since my brother-n-law was going to go and he would drive…I said why not…crazy…but I did.

So let me tell you from the start…how my weekend went. They picked me up on Friday at 8:00pm…we headed out…crossed the boarder into Mexico about 30 minutes…we had to make a quick stop to drop off some things to someone…well…we got lost…oh yah…we finally found the place around 9ish…so we unloaded the TRUCK…then everyone wanted tacos…so we went to a little stand…ate…it was about 10pm…of course beer was a necessity…so they…not me…started drinking…I am talking about the driver….so anyhow…we finally got on our way…about 10:45pm Friday…it was a crazy drive there…driver was drinking…something awkward…but we were in Mexico…we got to Ensenada around 1:00am in the morning…more drinking…I couldn’t believe how they love to drink…you know I like my beers. but come on. So went to sleep at or around 2:00am…well…if you call it sleeping…with people partying outside, cars stretching there tires…well I saw the sun rise.

Saturday morning went down stairs…guess what…they were drinking…WOW…so I went outside…guess what…the place needed cleaning for the big birthday fiesta…it was the other brother-n-law…you see he has never thrown a birthday party…so it was going to be a HUGE event…so I cleaned for most if not all of the morning…and I mean cleaned. We took off to get tables…about 6…drove back and set them up…oh yah all why the driver was drinking. They started preparing the food…and then some final touches…the party started around 5:00pm on Saturday…lots of liquor…lots. Now, I noticed that once the party started…I was pretty much forgotten about…I tried getting into the conversations, but the people kept moving away…or making up an excuse about having to go somewhere (to the next table)…it happen all night long…you just know when you aren’t wanted…seriously…some of you have been in that situation…so anyhow…I did drink but I found a point where I had enough…so around 11:00pm Saturday I snuck away…and headed towards the bedroom…well…that really didn’t do much for I didn’t sleep…pretty much half of the people there partied until the sun rose.

Sunday morning…went down stairs…they were still drinking….I could not believe it…I was wondering when they would fall over from alcohol poisoning…so they then started getting on my case…why I left…why I didn’t drink…and a few insults here and there. Blew it off…so Sunday morning I went outside and started cleaning up…you know…I seriously bagged up about 30 bags of cans (not crushed)…it was amazing…and there were bottles of Tequila…not one…not two…but about 10…and I have to mention they were HUGE bottles. So anyhow, I spent my Sunday morning cleaning. Now I was hungry…because I hadn’t eating since Friday night…because at the party they had Caguama…only…nothing else…really nothing else…and well I really don’t like it. sorry…that’s just me. I pretty much had it…so I told one of the brothers that I wanted to go get something to eat…they said…because the other butted in…why don’t you eat Caguama …I said…no thanks. So they took me to a place to eat meat…sorry for those vegetarians out there…but I needed meat. When we got there…they didn’t eat…only order beer…I ate…then I paid…which honestly I didn’t mind…I was hungry and well I wanted to go out.

So we left…but guess what on our way back…they stopped by to get micheladas…beer prepared…wow…amazing. Well…we said out good buys and around 6:00pm…we headed back to the gold old US of A. Wait…we had to stop to get more micheladas and a 12 pack of beer…for the drive…wow…well…we made it to the border around 8:00ish…we actually didn’t have to wait long… was so thanking a higher being at that moment….so we crossed I got home around 9:00pm. I pretty much jumped out of the truck while it was moving…and ran inside…yah I looked like “Leave it To Beaver” coming home…so anyways.

My dearest asked how it went…well I told her what I am telling you…and do you know what she said I was a party popper…and she didn’t want me talking about her family in such a bad way…I understand and I respect that…I guess I know where I stand…I am definitely second when it comes to the family….oh well…the thing I learned was…I will never go again to Ensenada…never.

My Perspective
Never go out with in-Laws…lol…just kidding…Thanks for reading till next time and this time hopefully sooner. Than later.

The Plan to Assist Mortgage Borrowers: Loan Modification

I thought this would be a good piece of information for home owners.

by Jack M. Guttentag
Posted on Tuesday, April 14, 2009, 12:00AM

My previous articles in this series criticized the administration's new program for Making Home Affordable (MHA) because it ignored negative equity -- which is the major factor underlying the currently horrendous foreclosure rate -- and because it offered refinance relief only to borrowers lucky enough to have their mortgages owned or guaranteed by Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac. This article is about the loan contract modification part of the program, which covers loans owned by any investor.

Like the refinance program, the loan modification part of MHA ignores negative equity and offers help only to owner-occupants. Investors are not eligible. Those negatives aside, the modification program is well designed. Its architects have taken note of a number of problems that have bedeviled existing modification programs, and have fashioned sensible remedies to deal with them.

Shortages of Trained Staff: The shortage of qualified staff by servicers, as well as the high cost of modifying loans, has resulted in many needless foreclosures that timely modifications could have prevented. The MHA remedy is to provide financial incentives to servicers to do more modifications.

Under the program, servicers are paid $1,000 for each eligible loan they modify, provided that the modified loan remains current through a trial period of at least 90 days. In addition, the servicer collects $1,000 a year for three years if the borrower stays current for that period.
High Incidence of Redefault: In the past, many borrowers with modified loans have subsequently defaulted. Many early modifications, however, did not reduce the borrower's payment, and in some cases the payment increased.

Under MHA, the interest rate is reduced to a level where payments for principal, interest, taxes, and insurance make up no more than 31 percent of the borrower's gross income. In addition, a borrower who stays current will receive $1,000 a year for up to five years in the form of balance reductions.

Restriction to Borrowers in Default: For the most part, servicers have limited modifications to borrowers who are two or more payments behind. This rule assured compliance with investor requirements that modifications were allowed only to avoid more-costly foreclosures, and it also helped servicers allocate their limited staff to the most urgent situations. But it had the unfortunate effect of encouraging borrowers to default so they could get help.

The new program attempts to remedy this by establishing "hardship" criteria for eligibility that does not require the borrower to be in default in order to qualify for a modification. In addition, bonuses of $1,500 to the investor and $500 to the servicer are offered for each modification that is executed while the borrower facing hardship is still in good standing.

Multiplicity of Modification Standards: Different servicers have applied different standards to the modification process, both in terms of assessing eligibility and in establishing the type and scope of modification. The result has been vastly different treatment of borrowers, depending on who happened to be servicing their loan. The new program attempts to remedy this by setting out standards for determining eligibility, the type and amount of assistance provided, the documentation required, and other factors.

In brief, eligible borrowers must be able to document financial hardship, defined as a monthly housing expense (mortgage payment plus taxes and insurance) in excess of 31 percent of gross income. If borrowers who qualify under this rule have a total expense ratio, which includes all other debt payments, of 55 percent or more, they must agree to obtain counseling. The mortgage payment of eligible borrowers is reduced to 31 percent primarily through temporary interest rate reductions, following procedures detailed by the government.
Unfortunately, on modifications that are not MHA eligible, the multiplicity of standards will remain.

The Second Mortgage Problem: Second mortgages are a potential barrier to modifying first mortgages because of the threat that the second mortgage lender can always foreclose if the second mortgage payment is not made. Some servicers work with second mortgage lenders, while others require the borrower to make a deal with the second mortgage lender that gets them out of the way. Under the program, "incentives will be provided to extinguish junior liens on homes with first liens that are modified under the program." No detail is provided on this part of the program, which is one of several loose ends that await clarification. It is hoped that, in tying up these loose ends, the Treasury will also reconsider its exclusion of investors from the program, which could be easily remedied, and think about developing another program directed to the problem of negative equity.

Thanks once again...till next time...hang in there.

Marriage and Intimacy

Today blog is probably going to sound like a complaint…but please don’t take it the wrong way, because seriously I have to just put this down on paper…sort of speaking. This whole topic on marriage, relationships and yah sex…it's bananas…it’s incredible…and yet the same thing happens on and on and on…couple after couple, marriage after marriage…ok….sorry.


Ok, here it is…so, the other night a few days before this post…I was sitting in the family room with my wife (significant other)…and I say it that way because it is that way…anyways. So I was flipping through the channels…now under stand this is a rarity for us…actually sitting down in the same room….well I was flipping through the channels and sure enough on HBO there was a series on called “Real Sex”. I have seen a few episodes…nothing big…but that episode talked about women and how they can get back that loving feeling, if you know what I mean. These women had issues with sex in there relationships meaning they no longer wanted to have…and when they did it was more to them an obligation than something they enjoyed.

So, this therapist was showing/illustrating techniques on what a women could do to get back that mood while have intercourse, well a few of the women on the show really did not look like they were enjoying themselves at all. There were toys, lubricant, etc. but when the therapist was demonstrating on a volunteer…the women looked like well…her face looked like well…what’s the big deal…no enjoyment. Well about 2 minutes had gone by when all of sounded I heard echo through the room…”Gross, that’s sick”…so of course at that cue I changed the channel. Ok, your probably saying to yourself…yah typical man…why should I blame the women for not wanting to see that…good for her…yada…yada…yada. Why should a woman have to see such disturbing things…well it really wasn’t that bad, but lets just say for the sake of things it was.

Now, here is my beef…why is it that when a women gets older, has children they all of a sudden loose interest…now wait…of course they are married. Ok…Ok…don’t get all bent out of shape…your probably yelling at me saying it could be a number of things, self esteem, menopause, etc…etc…etc. But this is what eats me…when we first met…there wasn’t a time that she wouldn’t see me and would undress me and we would go at it…and then of course she talked about her exes and the things they did, where they did it, how they did it…hey I have an open mind…I like to know what a women likes… anyhow…and these things turned her on before…but today it grosses her out.

Now, wait…before I got married…I have met women that were older…let's just say over 40…and they had kids, been through a divorce and let me tell you…these women new and enjoyed sex very much and did things that well…probably didn’t do with their husbands’ or maybe they did (if they did…those guys are idiots) So there is my thing…do women loose interest in their husband…is it possible that women no longer finds their husband attractive. Because I have to say…that most men…if given the chance… would take sex anytime they could…you know that…lets not say that’s not true guys…if a guy has a women in front her in lingerie, big shirt or whatever and she starts the seduction…come on guys…you know before you know it…your down to your socks. Now, ok I am not putting the blame on women alone…it does happen to men to of course…- but what makes this change -.

Obviously you married the person because you thought they were sexy or gorgeous, handsome, intelligent, funny and when they came over to visit…your stomach would get all filled up with butterflies…so what happens after getting married or being in a relationship so long. My biggest question is…if anyone gets married…they should look back at the time before they got married and remember those incredible moments they had…the crazy things they did, the enjoyment of the first time…I mean yah your life changes when you get married, yah your life changes when you have kids, but your life doesn’t really change…it grows into something better…I think couples should still enjoy themselves…make time for themselves…behind close doors let the inhibitions go…just as you did when you first met. Marriage and kids should not make you life worse…getting married and having kids is just icing on that cake…that cake that you both kneaded, molded and baked during your dating years. it's not always about they kids…yah they are your life, you have a responsibility to your kids, but if you don’t take care of your marriage or relationship…you won’t be able to take care of your family or your kids and then what.

My Perspective:
You know I am probably starting to sound like a broken record, but it is all about the communication…people need to talk. But now that I am writing this again…I come to realize that the majority of the population doesn’t know how to communicate…they can’t express their feelings, their thoughts and well…that just makes things so much more difficult. All I have to say to this is…I wish I knew what makes a man or women loose interest in sex/intimacy with their significant other…and if you look closely at the statistics…this normally only happens during a marriage or a long term relationship. Maybe…it is time to move forward…move on…I am so sure that there is someone out there that will connect with you…and things will be ok.

It's time to tie up loose ends, prepare for the inevitable and move on…because your happiness is first and foremost, because if you are not happy…then you can’t make your love one happy or your children and that only continues the cycle…move out, move on…you’ll see that your happiness…even away from your kids, if you have them, will make the difference in their lives and yours.


Thanks for listening, hope to see some comments…till next time...be happy.

Getting Motivated

Hey…glad to see you…well glad you stopped on by to read another crazy post of mine. This one is dedicated to all those individuals that really want to shed off some pounds but struggle to get motivated. You know before I got married I use to hit the gym every day…well maybe not Sundays…but everyday…for at least an hour. I use to work out hard. Now, it has been 13 years of marriage and if I recall the first 2 years of marriage we use to work out together…and well…after those first two years we no longer do. Yah…once again…there that thing about being married…having kids…life changing experiences…yada…yada…yada.

People always make an excuse that well I don’t have anyone to watch the kids, I am working, and a whole bunch of other excuses…probably good ones…yah…ok. But yet…there are millions of single mothers, fathers out there doing the same things we are and still manage to find time to hit the gym…at least 30 minutes a day…or better yet…they go out for a run with their children…ok…so why can’t married couples do it. Ok, not all married couples fall into this scenario…I have heard of couples that take turns watching their kids and hitting the gym. So…my question is…besides all the excuses we come up with, that I know we can resolve…what else does it take to get someone to workout…MOTIVATION.

Motivation is probably the biggest thing...that keeps people away from the gym or just working out. When your single…you have time and you look good…when you are first dating someone…you still workout…to look good for that new love one…but once the relationship gets serious or maybe leads to marriage…you all of a sudden stop working out…why. Now I am not saying everyone, but darn…the majority of the people do fit this scenario. So why…once again when you get married you stop working out…is it simply because you got that person, or is it that you are comfortable with that person and you know that new love will love you no matter what happens to your body, or is there something else that clicks in our minds.

Now that’s funny because in some of my other posts I talk about marriage and why people loose interest in their loved ones or loose interest in their intimacy…and most of the responses I have heard is that they don’t find their love ones attractive anymore…or that their loved ones no longer feel good about themselves. So why not work out…like you use to before you got married and feel good, look good and continue being happy and healthy. I am not saying that you should look like a model, but you know…feel good. Remember after you worked out your body felt good, invigorating…the sweat, the burning muscles…all those things made you feel like…man I accomplished something today.

Motivation…made you do it…back then…so how do we find that motivation again after so many years? Is it that new FINE looking girl/man in your office, book store or your kids karate class…hmmm…yah I know your married, but what would get you, me…us to get back into working out. Could it simply be the fact that you will feel and be healthier…crazy notion huh…maybe if you shed a few pounds and someone notices and compliments you…maybe that could be it. Hmm…I guess what I am asking is what can we do to get that motivation back to hitting the gym or just working out? Yah it should not be about anyone else, but you that motivates you to working out…but what is that motivation?


My Perspective:
I am still looking for that motivation…well I have to say I did find it…there is this fine looking women I know…that is a mother of two, been through a tough marriage and has seen tough times…but she finds the time to work out…and let me tell you…she is HOT…HOT…with all due respect to her…but she is…and maybe I should hit the gym just to keep up with her…lol. But seriously…It really boils down to finding that motivation within yourself, finding that one things that will get you working out…and hopefully it doesn’t take a heart attack, or something else to drive you to it, but something that will get you up and working out.

If anyone out there has found their motivation…please share…maybe someone will hit it right on the spot. Once again as always thanks for reading and till next time…be happy…be true to yourself., because when it comes down to it…when your happy everyone one around you will be happy.

Finding the Way in Today’s Times

Once again thanks for visiting my blog, always raw, uncut and un-edited…yah sometimes you’ll find some misspelled words, I try and run spell check, but some misspelled words just get through. Yah, sometimes my sentences won’t make sense, but you know something I am really only writing directly on the post…and I write as I am talking…so anyways…glad to see you here and I want to cover a topic that I am pretty sure that everyone is thinking, hearing or talking about, which is our economy and how it is affecting us, our families and those around you.

I am right there with you…I have a mortgage, a job (knock on wood), family, bills and the many others things that come with our daily life and just like you or many others I am struggling through these economic downturns…sometimes I find myself not able to buy all the necessary groceries, looking to see if I could repair things around the house myself, cutting back on certain cleaners…not just to save money of course but to also help the environment. I look around my house and start turning off lights, turn the power off completely from devices, such as stereos, coffee makers, anything with clocks or even small LEDs…yah its crazy but it actually cut my electricity bill by 25 dollars…weird huh. I now don’t buy clothes until they are truly worn out with holes or hey even longer…sometimes probably a little to long and the fad is over…lol. I combined my cable, Internet, phone all into one company…got a great deal and saving about 40 dollars a month…that internet is starting to look a little iffy, but my son needs it for his homework and research, of course I need it to post on my blog…lol. I look around the house and see everything I could reduce, cut back or eliminate without disturbing our life.

Even when we go out, sometimes we eat out…not much, but when we do…I order water instead of soda, tea or anything, or if at a fast food…I now order happy meals…hey they maybe small portions, but I sort off watch my weight and I get a cool toy...lol. Yah, I know lots of “lol” today, but it’s only because I have to keep a smile through such incredible times.

I probably sacrifice a bit more when it comes to me…and I try to keep my son with good clothes, not expensive but nice, keep him and my family with nice shoes, very important to take care of those feet…I don’t mind not getting things for myself…I guess it’s sort of what a parent does…sacrifice ourselves for our children…it’s ok…I really don’t mind. I maintain my clothing well and you know now that I think about it…the last time I went shopping for myself for anything was at the end of 2007…yah…it was around Christmas when I went shopping for slacks, shirts and shoes one day in 2007…hey they still look pretty goo…well maybe not the shoes…lol.

But as we look at the news, hear about a neighbor or family member or friend of a friend loosing their job, their house…it all becomes overwhelming…so much too take in that we just wait and see if it will happens to us and our family…it’s stressful and it could lead to trouble within families…anger, frustration, depression I don’t know…maybe each of us handle it differently, but somehow we are all in the same boat. Will GM go belly up, will Chrysler, cut jobs, will auto part suppliers go under…the domino effect keeps going and going, then you hear about State cuts, programs being closed, health care benefits being slashed…when you stand back and look at everything you think oh no could this be next “1929 Depression”…of course we hope not.

You know I was talking to a co-worker the other day and we were just commenting on this whole economy and how things are coming to a full circle…we discussed and came to an agreement that we feel that this whole crises we are going through is a way to stabilize the economy…there was so much money being pumped into being rich…rich…rich that we believe it went out of control and its time to get back to our roots…where we as families gave to the community, volunteered in our schools, our communities, donated to our schools and community…I think for many of us we forgot that as a community we work together to maintain our kids and family safe and happy…we think many communities have veered off into their own world and stopped participating within the community. Maybe its time to take a step back and start in our own back yard and become involved with our community, neighbors, and family…maybe helping one another will help us through these tough times. You know we were just talking it doesn’t mean its right for everyone, but that’s what these Blogs are for…voicing, giving out opinions, ideas, food for thought.

My Perspective:
Me, you, those around you are all affected by what’s going on today…yah we can kick, scream, complain and even give up…but I am sure if you stop and look at the mirror…the reflection will tell you that you are not the type to give up, that you have seen so much and giving up right now wouldn’t only make things worse..not just for you, your family, but for all those people around you, your family, your friends, neighbors, uncles, aunts, coworkers, boss, the high school kid working at McDonalds…your attitude does affect a lot of people and maybe its time to stand back and take a deep breath and start pushing forward.

Take initiative to see what you can do to help, maybe walk to school, walk to work if you can, walk to the store, turn off unused lights in the house, take care of your possessions, clothes, electronics, toys, help around the house, cleaning, gardening, keep a upbeat attitude around your kids, family, friends, coworkers discuss problems in private with your spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend, don’t let others hear your financial issues, talk to your significant other before it blows out of proportion. Communication is the main ingredient here…it is what makes the world go round and we need to partake in community events, help, if you can, with school fund raisers…even donating 5 dollars could mean the difference in keeping the Art division for students, we need to get back to the roots, get back to knowing your neighbor, not spying on them, but knowing them, helping them…saying hello. I think if we could give to our community, whether monetarily or voluntary your time…it will make a difference for you, your family, your neighbors and most importantly the children…the next generation, your actions will teach them to give back as you have done and that my readers could lead to a better economy, one that makes sense, one that supports families and the dreams they are made of.

Thanks for reading, I know this topic could have been covered more, there is so much more to say, but for now I only suggest that you take part in your community and whether you donate or volunteer your time…where you live…it will make a difference…I promise…you’ll see it in the smiles of all those around you. Till next time, don’t give up, push forward…we will make it through.

Business – My Income Opportunity is Finally Paying Off

Once again…welcome to another of my posts, today I actually get to look back at one of the business I have been working on since February of 2006.

Today’s post is about a web-based income opportunity that is actually giving me some income.

Now, I am not here trying to sell you anything or asking you to signup for anything, this post is just a little reminder to me that there are business opportunities out there that will actually give you some income…ok…it may not be nothing to write home about, but hey if it is not costing anything to run, right now, and it is paying for its own marketing and giving me a little “extra cash” for that piano lesson for my son, then hey it was well worth the wait.

Let me start from the beginning, February 2 of 2006 I found a company that allows you to own a piece of a website business that is well known and all you have to do is advertise it…get it out in front of the world-wide-web (people). Not only do they offer one website, but many websites that you can promote (advertise) and make some money. I’ll get to there names in a minute…now I know that there are all kinds of methods out there to advertise, but I will let you know the methods I am using right now that are working for me and those that I tried and just wasted my money on.

The website(s) I am talking about are, Adult Friend Finder, Friend Finder, Amigos, Cams, Penthouse and well a lot more to choose from so that you can market. Now, I tried several of them over the last 3 years and the one I have noticed that is constantly giving is Adult Friend Finder, not saying that the others weren’t…it’s just that I decided to concentrate my efforts on this one. You might have a different choice, but let me continue. I joined, it was free to join, and I started to promote on Forums, Craigslist, Back pages, I bought visitors, I bought re-directed visitors, I bought signups, and I campaign though Yahoo Pay Per Clicks and Google Pay Per Clicks. Let me tell you…buying visitors or re-directing visitors or buying signups didn’t work for me, those so called marketing companies that market for you, they didn’t work for me either. I even had a company run a Pay Per Click campaign for me and that didn’t work for me…let me tell you I tried each one for 3-4 months…I gave them a chance…and it did not work…I spent lots of money…maybe not a whole lot but for me it was.

Now, the method of marketing for my online business, “Adult Friend Finder” is through Yahoo Pay Per Clicks. Google is ok, but I always had issues with the ad or campaign and I really did not like their customer support…not saying they are bad…it just wasn’t working for me.

I stuck with Yahoo Pay Per Clicks and I was spending for the first year about 99 dollars a month, now I didn’t see anything except 1 or 2 sales that whole year…the only thing I saw was my membership signups was increasing. About the 15th month I started seeing enough income to pay for the 99 dollars of marketing cost…give and take a few months that year where I had to put in some money. Now about 22 month or so into it…I started getting enough income to cover the cost of Yahoo pay Per clicks…so from month 22 to about 32 the campaign was running all by itself and it was paying itself…ok…please realize that I did nothing really except watch my Pay Per Click campaign key words (I’ll explain that later) during those 9-10 months.

Now, let me rewind how the business works. You sign up for free with this company, you market one of the many websites they offer…you get a number assign (web address link) to you so when you market that website and some one signups as a member you get the credit…which currently is $75 per sing-up…not bad. You set the amount of check you want mailed to you, it’s defaulted to $50, but you can set it to $500, $1000, etc. once you reached that amount a check is mailed to you…I believe it’s set for every 2-weeks…so a person visits your website, they signup for a free 14-day trial membership and if they like it…they convert into a full-time member…this is when you get $75 dollars for that signup.

Now what I did was…I went to Go Daddy and bought a web address for 2 years…and then re-directed that website link I was assigned to that purchased web address…my business so happens to be called 1AdultFriend.com. Ok…so I have Yahoo Pay Per Click campaign running since February 2006 and even though I wasn’t getting any income at the beginning but I did notice that my members count was increasing and well, the more I had the more probability there was for a signup. About 3 or 4 months ago I received a nice check…I had it set to a higher setting…I didn’t want to get $50 dollar checks. And shortly after that I received another nice check…well…I used some of that income to increase my Pay Per Click Yahoo campaign to $150-175 dollars a month, which I have been running for about 2 months and I have to say…the business is paying for that campaign and I have some left over to pay for that 80 piano lesson and that sports signup of $240…oh by the way I put some away…so…I am not rich…and it’s not a whole lot, but how I see it is, if this business is paying for its own marketing and it giving me just a little to pay for some extra curricular activities…its not a bad start. How I see it is, in another 3-4 months I should be able to increase my marketing budget to $300-$400 per month and still have a little extra left over.

Ok…I know it has been three years, and the first 2 ½ years I had to put in my own money…not a whole lot, but I did. But at this rate I calculated that in another 14 months (about May of 2010) I would have broken even…meaning I would have paid myself back for those 2 ½ years of investing my own money and from that point on…it’s all profit…well minus the marketing campaign cost I have through Yahoo Pay Per Clicks. I see that in another year and half I could be making some nice income…so with many trials and errors this business has taken me to build from February 2006 to about May of 2010 to build a real residual income for my household…keep in mind I have a full-time job, and a part-time job, beside a full time family…so my time on this business was no more that 1 hour a day or even less on some days…from day one.

Pay Per clicks through yahoo explained…when you do a search on yahoo…sometimes you’ll see sponsored ads at the top or sides, highlighted in blue…well those are Pay Per Clicks. You sign up through Yahoo, create an ad, then associated key words to that ad, (those words or phrases you use to search the internet…those are key words). Then when someone types in a related key word, then your ad will appear at the top or close to the top maybe within the first 5 entries…depending on your bid, meaning what you are willing to pay to get a higher placing on the search…it could be $0.05 or $4.00 dollars depending…let me say I don’t think I have one key word more that $0.13 cents and I am getting visitors. You set the budget…you could spend 1 dollar a day, that is multiplied by 30 days…that’s what yahoo calculates you marketing budget…realize this like I did…the less you spend the longer it takes…if you could spend $200 a month for 18-22 months…you will build up your business quicker and it could start giving you sooner. Of course do what I did and spend 99 dollars a month and it took me nearly 3 years…and I still need to break even, which I will within the next 14 or so months.

Buy Visitors, re-direct visitors, buy sign-ups…well I tried a lot of different companies and many of them just took my money and honestly…I did a lot…I mean a lot…I never saw one membership signup with any of those companies….so do your-self a favor…and this is only my opinion and what worked for me….doesn’t mean you have to agree…but stay away from those companies that offer, visitors, re-direct visitors or signups…it s just throwing away your money.

Craigslist and BackPages…also work for a nominal fee…they’re not bad…I think I paid 75 dollars for 16 weeks to advertise in Backpages to appear on the top or as a sponsored website…Craigslist…I think there is a 1 or 5 dollar charge…not sure…I really don’t use them any more…but I got some signups. My best marketing venue is Yahoo Pay Per Clicks marketing campaign….that’s just my opinion and I am not getting any credit or money from Yahoo…I just truly like there marketing campaign it works for me.

My Perspective:
As with any business, it takes time…especially on line…yah many would have given up the first year or even after the first 6 months…but I stuck it out and it has worked out…I signup for free and I am actively marketing 1AdultFriend.com through Yahoo Pay Per Clicks, I started with 99 dollars a month and did that for about 22 months, then it started paying for itself for about 8-10 months…give and take a few months I had to put in a little of my own money and now I spend about $240 a month (8 dollars a day) and the website business pays for itself and leaves me a little something. I will continue…and let me say…this is like an investment…you know you could invest in stock and just as easily it could drop…so I see this as an investment. Even if the next 3-5 years it just keeps giving me enough to pay for its marketing and my sons piano lessons of 80 dollars…I truly believe that in 1 or 2 years on this road I will be able to generate enough money after marketing and taxes as a normal full time employee making minimum wage or a bit more…and it all done automatically…all I do is every so often check my keywords and their bids…this business runs day and night24/7 so there is always a chance anytime of the day to get a new member sign-up.

So, if you were ever thinking of investing in your future, again not that I am selling you anything, consider joining for free through www.1AdultFriend.com and set aside an investment of $30-99 dollars a month to market your website business using Yahoo Pay Per click or any other venue of marketing you like…and most importantly…I cannot stress this more…be patient…the business will not make you rich over night…but with time, maybe 3-5 years (maybe sooner) and hardly no work on your part…you could be surprised with monthly checks…for the rest of your life. $30-99 dollars a month marketing investment is not a whole lot…if you look close enough I am sure you could find a monthly marketing budget that will fit your life and remember its like investing in stocks…or commodities…you are looking for a long term investment…this website business will do that for you.

Hey I appreciate you reading this post, and all I ask is that you research this business…its solid and long term. Visit www.1AdultFriend.com and scroll towards the bottom and click on the Affiliate button”…get the information to make a sound decision…remember there is no cost to sign up. Your only investment would be about 30-99 dollars a month for about 2-3 years (you decide on that amount)…and then you should start seeing income to pay for the marketing… you not having to take out from own pocket…then maybe by the 3rd or 4th year you could start increasing you marketing budget and then by the 5th or 6th year and beyond you should start receiving a nice monthly check…I don’t know. It won’t cost a thing to research it and joining is free…if you decide to move forward the only cost would be for marketing…just a thought…visit www.1AdultFriend.com check out the affiliate section and thinking about it…I think if you join and move forward…you’ll be happy with your decision. If this is not for you…hey I understand…I just wanted to share one of my real life experiences…that’s all…and hope that maybe it could make a difference in someone’s life.

Take care and till next time or better said…till the next post.

Being a Father

Once again thanks for reading another of my posts, so this one is actually from the my life and well it might sound more of a venting post, but I hope to get some feedback or maybe a few suggestions.

Today’s topic is about, “A troubled 7 Year old” and how to father, guide, educate and communicate with him.

Now, to be honest I didn’t have a father figure growing up…all I remember is my mother working…working…working, so when it came down to me, it was all up to me. Homework, washing clothes, cooking, living and learning…it was all up to me to learn and believe me when I say a lot of that I learned the hard way. Believe me I am not making excuses…it’s just that I wish I had someone I could have compared my fathering…is that a word…oh well…to someone else. I always hear this from friends, “Well my father told me….or my father use to say”. Well my father wasn’t around so I have nothing to refer to. Yah I read books, lots of books, on being a father…..ok some of them were pretty bad…some were written by men that were not even fathers…and of course some books gave good pointers or suggestions, but I felt that they always lacked that personal touch…feeling…bonding and now that my son is 7 and starting to be his own little man…I feel that I am loosing him.

The last thing I want is for my son to hate me…I want him to be able to come to me for anything….with any questions…I am no guru when it comes to life, but I sure have experienced a lot and I am a type of person that is always learning, watching, observing everything around me…yah I sound like a nut, but hey I had a very hard childhood and I had to always work extra hard to get ahead…no help with homework…so I had to listen and ask questions, study longer hours. No help with life’s questions, so I had to learn those things the hard way…and sometimes they weren’t pleasant. I am sure many of us as parents have been or experienced these things or even worse, but I want to help my son avoid these things…teach him what I know…apply them to his school life, his social life…I know as kids or teenagers we don’t want to hear, but I would really like to give him an edge on life…be a good man. I know…people tell me to let him be, let him learn as you did…he’ll be ok…you turned out ok…but you know…growing up…I wished I had my father with me…to play a game, take me to practice…tell me his little secrets on how to build a bird house, talk to a girl…yah…it would have been very cool to have had my father growing up. But I didn’t get that opportunity and yah my son could learn the hard way as I did, but I know that once he got older he would look back at our relationship and wished he had his father more.

I really want to get him to trust me, consider me his friend, his mentor…I want him to have someone now, and when he gets older and has a family one day…I want him to be able to come up to me anytime and ask me what ever it is…whatever it is…”Dad I am sorry man I made a mistake and I stole this shirt…”…no matter what it is…having him grow up to do the right thing and feel good about himself is important to me. Confident, responsible and passionate about life and the people and things that live in it…it sounds like a lot what I am asking, but if I could get just a small percent of the goodness I wish for him…maybe he will be a good person, not just to himself, but for his family, friends, colleagues and the community…”Teach him only the good things about me and none of my bad habits”.

Right now whenever I or his mother asks him to do something, like homework, practice piano or clean his room…he just mumbles under his breath, shrugs his shoulders and stomps off to do it…and I really don’t want him to do things with a bad feeling or angry…because then he will do them wrong or I feel he will associate the thing we asked him to do with something bad and I really don’t want that. So I have tried to talk to him, explain things, asked him what he feels inside when we ask him to do things…and he could never tell us…I know…I know he is only 7, but if you met him…you would agree that he is a smart kid. I don’t know…I feel that I am running out of ideas or solutions...well that’s my post for today and the topic…I am sure there are many parents out there in the same situation.

My Perspective:
Well, I have been told by parents and other single people that I should let him be and that we as parents only need to set an example, and listen. Well, I disagree….I don’t know why…but I didn’t have my father around and I didn’t like…ok…well…better said I didn’t have a father figure around when I was growing up. I feel that we should try and teach our kids to be confident, independent, and good person in society. I feel that we should give them the tools they will need to move ahead on the right path….ok I know many of us can’t afford giving our kids piano lessons, or karate lessons or even put them into a sport camp or pay for school functions…yah…I know that…I live it.

You see I have to work extra hard to raise an extra 80 dollars for his piano lessons…or give up something I enjoy…to scrap up 200 dollars to sign him up for a season of sport…it takes sacrifice on our part as parents, but when I see him playing the piano beautifully and the teacher is amazed on his progress or when I see his eyes light up when he put on his gear and goes out to play…it no longer becomes a sacrifice…I feel that our sacrifice will guide him on the right path. Yah I have seen kids go opposite when all there childhood they had loving, giving parents and all it took was one bad crowd to guide your child on another path and then all that work and sacrifice we did as parents is thrown out the window…but is that a chance we take.

I feel that I am loosing…I feel that I am headed in the wrong direction…I know he is only 7, but I feel that I need to catch it now and hope to correct the issue or trouble he might have hidden inside him…maybe its nothing and only a stage, but what is a father to do.

Thanks for reading and I hope to see some feedback or suggestions…until next time hang in there.

Interracial Relationships

Welcome to another post. I do want to say that I am truly sorry for not having posted in such a long while, and only do to the fact that I have a three month at home and well…they do require a lot of attention, but here I am and I am touching on topic that was actually requested by a reader….so thank you Reader and lets see what you think.

Now, today’s topic is and always has been on the whispers of the society…it has been a controversial issue since…well…since at least my parents grew up and probably even further…actually of course…because they did share their view on this, which of course I will share. What I am talking about is Interracial Relationships. What I am saying hopefully won’t cause any hardships and as with my blog and of course many others this is solely my opinion and my experiences…they are not to be taken to heart, but rather viewed as a perspective of another’s person view and I hope only to provide you the reader with some interesting information…now I am saying all this because I am certain someone will undoubtedly contradict my view…which is fine…and I welcome it…I just don’t want anyone to get offended…ok…that’s more what I don’t want…anyone to get offended…ok so enough about that and let’s move on.

Now, growing up for me…interracial relationships was a big taboo…nobody really said anything when they saw it, it was only whispered in private, “Did you see Ajay with Susan today, I wonder what her mom thinks”. Those were the types of comments, in private that were said. Now…in high school…I recall…it was a total in-thing…..you know there was perception about certain ethnic groups…mainly men…of course easiest one to mentioned…and well women wanted to find out…plain and simple.

Now, Black-American men having relationships with Caucasian women was the most common and high school kids thought it was totally cool…but…but…many that were in a relationship did so in secrecy…mostly because of their parents and of course adults. They did want parents or adults to condemn them and make their lives more difficult…as it was their relationship was always scrutinized…even a simple hand-holding in the mall…got them unwanted remarks. Now, the funny thing is it wasn’t only the adults that did not approve of these relationships…the thing is…and I did hear these comments…many of the Black-American women did not like these relationships…many of the comments whispered, “Why does she have to date Ajay, can’t she find herself a white man. Now they are up all on our men”. So on occasion I did see a few fights between women of color and Caucasian woman…I think that an the fact that your parents or other adults scrutinized the relationship made it more difficult for those that fell in love that were separated by their color.

I remember my mother, she wasn’t against it…but of course she always did tell me to marry an nice Mexican woman…hey…you know…she wasn’t against it, but she did indirectly wanted to guide me down another road…well incase I got any ideas…lol. Now, I recall my father…well some of his friends talk about the military years and how they met their wives over seas…mostly in the Philippines’, China, or Bangkok and how when they got home…they never heard the end of it from there parents. So it was interesting growing up…it wasn’t a totally awful experience, but there was some indirect tensions directed towards interracial couples.

Now, I have to bring it closer to the present…the funny thing is…I still see, sense issues with interracial couples. It seems even though we broke the barrier, and time has passed to let society take in this Interracial Relationships…people still have issues…but the thing is…for example women of color still do not like the idea of a Caucasian women in dating a Black-American man...is that weird. The thing is if you see a Black-American women dating a Caucasian man…its weird for some reason…they don’t get scrutinized as much…hmmm…makes you think…there must still be some double standards…come on…even in today’s world we get people still have to sit in the back of the bus…not intentionally…but it happens indirectly.

So whether you are Black-American, Caucasian, Asian, or Mexican…and you interracial date…there seems to be some kind of pressure you have to live with directly or indirectly….which always puts strain on the relationship. Yah we have all seen a Black-American man dating a Caucasian woman…and people don’t say anything or maybe you see an Asian woman dating a Caucasian man, or a Black-American man dating a Mexican woman…but how I see it…and I could be wrong…people will always give you some kind of beef for being in that relationship…directly or indirectly…but it happens…so how I see it is…we have got passed the whole color-of-skin issue and we still bestow these values onto our children.

My Perspective:
Now, you or those that read my perspective might not agree…everyone grows up with different values and I can’t speak for you or anyone else…it is something I believe each individual needs to step back and reflect on what is the real issue in these Interracial Relationships. It comes down to…as a parent…you raised your child(ren) as best you could, giving them your values, hoping that what you taught them makes them a better person. Because when it comes down to it…ALL parents want the best for their children, but many parents cannot separate what is best for their child(ren) and what makes them happy. Not necessarily what a parent thinks to be the best for their child is the best thing…but what a parent can do is be happy for them when they are happy.

What do I think…when it comes down to it…it isn’t about the color of the skin…I mean you could be black, brown, purple, or what ever color you want, but it’s really the individual. If someone makes you happy then that’s where the heart is. If you are in a bad relationship, arguing, fighting, abusive, it doesn’t matter the color of your skin…that should never be. People fall in love because that person makes them feel good…and they like being around that person. Color doesn’t make a difference…really…a fist is a fist whether it comes from a Hispanic person or a Caucasian person…words hurt whether they come from a Black-American or a Asian…so as parents and adults we need to only care about the happiness of the person.

Ok I know what people are thinking…hey I am Hispanic and I get pulled over by cops, treaty differently at restaurants, etc…etc. But does that mean you need to be what society thinks you are…should you be a better person. I know…I know being treaty different isn’t the best feeling…when you come into a restaurant and you wait to be seated and sure enough 2 or 3 other parties (Caucasian) go before you…yah you know there was no reservations in the restaurant…so do you take it out on everyone that is around you? Do you allow them to make you be out what they expect you to be…no. You learn, you teach the right things…and maybe with enough time people could change…because you know…we can…we just need to stop the cycle…hey that’s what I think…it’s a cycle…ok…that’s my opinion.

I personally do not see the color, yah I have been treaty differently in public places, yah…I have heard the comments, insults have been directed to me…I have been passed up on a few job positions because I am Mexican…but you know…I only take that as a learning experience, as an opportunity to find a solution…every dog has his day…sounds weird, but my day will come. I am a professional, I have been in my profession for 18+ years and right now…I have Presidents, Vice Presidents, Directors, Managers and others in my fields approach me for help. I have closed 15 million dollar deals and I have earned the respect of my colleagues…it’s taken me a while, but I am there…now I pass that on to my children…the goodness…because I don’t believe that I know what is best for them…I believe I know how to make them happy…and of course along the way guide them on the right path.

If you are happy with that someone whether they are Purple, Blue, White, Black, Brown or any other color, you’ll always get some scrutiny, bad looks form people, but you keep being happy and remember you made a choice, just remember don’t let that bad Karma pass onto your kids…teach them well…teach them to move passed the color…maybe we can stop the cycle…one child at a time.

I appreciate you reading…please leave a comment, feedback and I’ll try and post a little more often. Till next time…Be Happy!

What Should I Do?

Welcome to another of my posts and as always I truly appreciate you stopping by to read them. But please don’t be shy and leave a comment or feedback...maybe there is a topic you would like for me to cover…let me know and I will cover it to the best of my abilities.

So, here is today’s post topic,

“What Should I do if My Relationship is Not Working?”

Now, this is an incredible topic and I am still amazed that SO many people stay in bad relationships. Ok, I understand that there may be different circumstances and that ok…yah I don’t know you attitude sets in, but please why would you seriously put yourself through such unhappiness…why. Ok, now maybe some situations are not as bad as others, case proven, and maybe there is an agreement between the couple and staying together is for the better of the situation, kids are involved or maybe financial. The thing is I think those need to step back and evaluate there situation and ask themselves is this really necessary…some will probably answer yes, but before you do, make sure that you are not being abused physically or mentally…please…that’s not worth anything.

Now people every where are in bad relationships, whether it is an abusive one or one where the love is no longer there. You know it is possible for people to fall out of love…really…that’s a real thing. So if you are in that situation, then before it gets any worse…move on. Some are in those relationships where children are involved and a possible separation could scar the children so there needs to be an understanding between the two of you on working out a plan that will eventually lead to a clean separation and the children are not affected…at least not as much as a all out war. But each couple that maybe going through hard times…they need to all step back and evaluate the relationship…either work it out or go your separate ways.
There are 6, 773,540,914 people in the world and 306,222,923 people in the US...there is someone out there that will love you for you and care about you and not want to hurt you emotionally or physically…it starts with you and like I always say…communication is the key ingredient.

I can’t lay out all the possible scenarios, because I will miss one or two or three, so my only suggestion is to think it through.

My Perspective:
Each couple or relationship is different…I…understand, but I honestly there is no need to go through life suffering. Step back and evaluate your relationship…talk…get help…if everything else fails…move on. Only example I can give is this…and I ain’t one to preach because I am guilty of not following my own advise sometimes…hey I don’t follow the advice of others for that matter, but…say you have been married 10+ years and you have 2 children…and you both just don’t have that passion, love might be there, but its not the same love. You both realize that your separation will definitely affect the children or maybe just one…the older one. You have tried talking, asked for counseling, sacrificed your own needs and wants, but your other half just won’t do their part…and it only seems to be getting worse…the children…the children. I guess it would be time to talk it out…and hopefully both come to an agreement of the best possible solution to go your separate ways, but see what can be done to lessen the affect to the children. You both love your kids dearly, but your happiness or lack of…will be seeing by your children. Come on…when your child asks why you don’t kiss daddy or mommy…you know they notice something different. Or why is mommy or daddy always mad…another indication of an unhappy relationship. No, don’t let your kids piece together what they think…catch it before it gets worse.

I appreciate you reading this post…I would like to see your comments…till next time, “love yourself first”.

Where Diets Go Wrong

When we discover that we are heavier than we want to be, we have a natural invlination to eat less food. We may skip lunch or eat only a tiny amount of our dinner in the hope that if we eat less our body will burn off some of its fat. But that is not necessarily true. Eating less actually makes it more difficult to lose weight.

Keep in mind that the human body took shape millions of years ago, and at that time there were diets. The only low-calorie event in people's lives was starvation. Those who could cope with a temporary lack of food were the ones who survived. Our bodies, therefore, have developed this built-in mechanism to help us survive in the face of low food intake.

When researchers compare overweight and thin people, they find that they ear roughly the same number of calories. What makes overweight people different is the amount of fat that they eat. Thin people tend to eat less fat and more complex carbohydrates.

Losing weight is not something one can do overnight. A carefully planned weight loss program requires common sense and certain guidelines. Unfortunately, there's a lot of misinformation floating around and lots of desperate people are easily duped and ripped off.

Every day one can open a magazine or newspaper and see advertisements touting some new product, pill or patch that will take excess weight off quickly. Everyone seems to be looking for that "magic" weight loss pill. Millions of Americans are trying to lose weight, spending billions of dollars every year on diet programs and products. Often they do lose some weight. But, if you check with the same people five years later, you will find that nearly all have regained whatever weight they lost.

A survey was done recently to try and determine if any commercial diet program could prove long-term success. Not a single program could do so. So rampant has the so-called diet industry become with new products and false claims that the FDA has now stepped in and started clamping down.

Being seriously overweight and particularly obesity can develop into a number of diseases and serious health problems, and it is now a known fact that when caloric intake is excessive, some of the excess frequently is saturated fat.

The myth is that people get heavy by eating too many calories. Calories are a consideration it's true, but overall they are not the cause of obesity in America today. Americans actually take in fewer calories each day than they did at the beginning of the century. If calories alone were the reason we become overweight, we should all be thin. But we are not. Collectively, we are heavier than ever. Partly, it is because we are more sedentary now. But equally, as important is the fact that the fat content of the American diet has changed dramatically.

People who diet without exercising often get fatter with time. Although your weight may initially drop while dieting, such weight loss consists mostly of water and muscle. When the weight returns, it comes back as fat. To avoid getting fatter over time, increase your metabolism by exercising regularly.

Select an exercise routine that you are comfortable with and remember that walking is one of the best and easiest exercises for strengthening your bones, controlling your weight and toning your muscles.

Once again thank you for visiting, till next time.

The Positive Weight Loss Approach

Once you have made up your mind to lose weight, you should make that commitment and go into it with a positive attitude. We all know that losing weight can be quite a challenge. In fact, for some, it can be downright tough. It takes time, practice and support to change lifetime habits. But it's a process you must learn in order to succeed. You and you alone are the one who has the power to lose unwanted pounds.

Think like a winner, and not a loser - - remember that emotions are like muscles and the ones you use most grow the strongest. If you always look at the negative side of things, you'll become a downbeat, pessimistic person. Even slightly negative thoughts have a greater impact on you and last longer than powerful positive thoughts.

Negative thinking doesn't do you any good, it just holds you back from accomplishing the things you want to do. When a negative thought creeps into your mind, replace it reminding yourself that you're somebody, you have self-worth and you possess unique strengths and talents. Contemplate what lies ahead of you. Losing weight is not just about diets. It's about a whole new you and the possibility of creating a new life for yourself. Investigate the weight loss programs that appeal to you and that you feel will teach you the behavioral skills you need to stick with throughout the weight-loss process. First you should look for support among family and friends. It can be an enolmous help to discuss obstacles and share skills and tactics with others on the same path. You might look for this support from others you know who are in weight loss programs and you can seek guidance from someone you know who has lost weight and kept it off.

There are success stories across the country today. On television and in newspapers, magazines and tabloids about people who have miraculously lost untold pounds and kept it off. In all instances they say their mental attitude as well as their outlook on life has totally changed.

Diets and weight loss programs are more flexible now than they once were and there are many prepared foods already portioned out. They are made attractive and can be prepared in a matter of minutes. Low-fat and low-calorie foods are on shelves everywhere.

You will probably need to learn new, wiser eating skills. You will want a weight loss regimen that gives you some control, rather than imposing one rigid system. Look for one that offers a variety of different eating plans, so you can choose the one that's best for you.

Keep in mind, too, that your weight loss program will most likely include some physical exercises. Look at the exercising aspect of your program as fun and recreation and not as a faint of grueling and sweaty work. The fact is that physical fitness is linked inseparable to all personal effectiveness in every field. Anyone willing to take the few simple steps that lie between them and fitness will shortly begin to feel better, and the improvement will reflect itself in every facet of their existence.

Doctors now say that walking is one of the best exercises. It helps the total circulation of blood throughout the body, and thus has a direct effect on your overall feeling of health. There are things such as aerobics, jogging, swimming and many other exercises which will benefit a weight loss program. Discuss the options with your doctor and take his advice in planning your exercise and weight loss program.


Thanks for reading and I hope some of this information is helpfull...remember always talk to your doctor before attempting any new exercise routines or diets. Till next time

SENSIBLE DIET TIPS

Start your diet with a food diary, record everything you eat, what you were doing at the time, and how you felt. That tells you about yourself, your temptation, the emotional states that encourage you to snack and may help you lose once you see how much you eat.

Instead of eating the forbidden piece of candy, brush your teeth. If you're about to cheat, allow yourself a treat, then eat only half a bite and throw the other half away. When hunger hits, wait 10 minutes before eating and see if it passes. Set attainable goals. Don't say, "I want to lose 50 pounds." Say, "I want to lose 5 pounds a month." Get enough sleep but not too much. Try to avoid sugar. Highly sweetened foods tend to make you crave more.

Drink six to eight glasses of water a day. Water itself helps cut down on water retention because It acts as a diuretic. Taken before meals, it dulls the-appetite by giving you that "full feeling." Diet with a buddy. Support groups are important, and caring people can help one another succeed. Start your own, even with just one other person.

Substitute activity for eating. When the cravings hit, go to the "Y" or health club if possible; or dust, or walk around the block. This is especially helpful if you eat out of anger.

If the pie on the counter is just too great a temptation and you don't want to throw it away, freeze it. If you're a late-night eater, have a carbohydrate, such as a slice of bread of a cracker, before bedtime to cut down on cravings. Keep an orange slice or a glass of water by your bed to quiet the hunger pangs that wake you up.

If you use food as a reward, establish a new reward system. Buy yourself a non-edible reward. Write down everything you eat - - everything - including what you taste when you cook. If you monitor what you eat, you can't go off your diet.

Weigh yourself once a week at the same time. Your weight fluctuates constantly and you can weigh more at night than you did in the morning, a downer if you stuck to your diet all day. Make dining an event. East from your own special plate, on your own special placemat, and borrow the Japanese art of food arranging to make your meal, no matter how meager, look lovely. This is a trick that helps chronic over-eaters and bingers pay attention to their food instead of consuming it unconsciously.

Don't shop when you're hungry. You'll only buy more fattening food. Avoid finger foods that are easy to eat in large amounts. Avoid consuming large quantities of fattening liquids, which are so easy to overdo. And this includes alcoholic beverages. Keep plenty of crunchy foods like raw vegetables and air-popped fat-free popcorn on hand. They're high in fiber, satisfying and filling. Leave something on your plate, even if you are a charter member of the Clean The Plate Club. It's a good sign that you can stop eating when you want to, not just when your plate is empty.

Lose weight for yourself, not to please your husband, your parents or your friends. Make the kitchen off-limits at any time other than mealtime. Always eat at the table, never in front of the TV set or with the radio on. Concentrate on eating every mouthful slowly and savoring each morsel. Chew everything from 10 to 20 times and count! Never skip meals.

Steps to Relaxing

1. Think positively. Focus on the beauty in everything.
2. Avoid people that are constantly complaining or angry. Stress can be contagious, so avoid transmitters.
3. Avoid toxic people. Spend less time with people who try to guilt you into doing things or tell you that you're not good enough. Yes, even if they're family.
4. Stop feeling guilty. Guilt is a potent source of stress. Get rid of the source of guilt by behaving yourself; stop engaging in behaviors that make you feel guilty. Seek professional help, if necessary, but don't allow destructive behavior to escalate and sabotage your life and health.
5. Learn to prioritize. Make a list of tasks for the day. Organize the list by importance. Learn to be proactive and take care of things before they become a big problem. Time spent more productively means more free time to relax.
6. Make healthy food choices.
- Avoid excessive sugar found in granola bars, pastries or soda. Carbohydrates, such as pasta, convert easily to sugar. These can cause severe ups and downs and agitation, upsetting your body's ability to efficiently utilize energy.
- Avoid excessive coffee. Instead of regular coffee, switch to decaf or an herbal tea with little or no caffeine.
- Eat fresh fruits, vegetables and whole grains that are free of refined sugar, such as apples, grapes, carrots, broccoli, brown rice or whole grain breads.
- Eat plenty of low-calorie protein, such as chicken, fish, whole grains, legumes, dark leafy vegetables or low-fat dairy. These proteins are a better source of energy.
- Take a multi-vitamin. Some vitamins relieve stress.
7. Exercise every day. This is the best known, scientifically proven way to significantly reduce stress. You'll be amazed at how much easier it is to overcome stress if you exercise regularly.
- Try at least thirty minutes per day of moderate activity.
- Walk in the park, woods or on a treadmill.
- Take the stairs instead of the elevator.
- Park a little further away from the entrance of a store.
- Ride a bike.
- Go swimming. Try your local pool, a nearby lake or a friend or relative's home.
- Increase your activity, once you've built endurance, if desired.
- You don't need to work out like a body builder or celebrity.
8. Find a quiet place when you are feeling overwhelmed.
- Draw a warm bath. Light candles around the tub, dim the lights, add bubbles or lavender, if desired.
- Lay on your bed or sofa. Play some soft music or nature CDs. Relax listening to ocean waves, waterfalls or birds.
- Read a good book. Curl up on the couch with a blanket and a cup of chamomile tea.
- Imagine a personal paradise. Close your eyes and envision a different setting. What do you see around you? Is there a breeze? What do you hear - birds or water? Imagine the calming sound of ocean waves reaching the shore. Enjoy a moment in your special place.
- Even the stall of a bathroom will work if you have no other place to go.
9. Download ebooks on relaxation. Use controlled breathing, muscle tensing and relaxing, affirmations (which become your own subliminal messages to your subconscious), and visualization to experience the full impact of total relaxation.
10. Do yoga. It relaxes your body and clears your mind of the stress and rush of the day.
11. Practice meditation. Remove all thoughts and emotions from your mind by concentrating on your breathing. It takes a little practice, but is very rewarding. Some Buddhist monks use this practice throughout their lives!
12. Breathe more slowly. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Inhale deeply, count to five, then exhale slowly, counting to five. Do this ten times to relax your muscles and nerves.
13. Try a massage. Go to your local spa for a great massage.
14. Lower your shoulders to help relax. Be more consciously aware of the tension that is quick to accumulate in your shoulders.
15. Perform self-hypnosis. Focus on something, take a few deep breaths and let yourself become hypnotized. If you have trouble with self-hypnosis, go to a licensed hypnotherapist. Do not allow an amateur to try to hypnotize you. Beware of subliminal messages.
16. Be calmed by water. Assemble a small fountain in your bedroom or yard. Walk near a beach or lake. The calming sounds of water are very soothing.
17. Do activities or hobbies that relax you. Get your mind off the things that normally stress you out. You may just need a break every now and then.
- Go fishing
- Sew
- Sing
- Paint
- Take photographs
- Weird as it sounds, try singing a song using numbers instead of words. This helps to distract you from stress to suddenly relax.
18. Spend time with your pet. Cuddle or play with your pets. They'll love it and so will you. Talk to your pet about all the stress and anxiety you've been going through and you'll feel a lot better.
19. Read a book or an article that makes you think. Read about a leader, such as Martin Luther King or Frankl's writings about the mind. Inspirational thoughts can lead to a more positive outlook on life and add new energy.
20. Work! Although this may sound counteractive to your goal, procrastination never feels as good as having nothing to do. Get it done now and truly relax.
21. Smile and laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. Rent, buy or see a hilarious movie. This is guaranteed to help. Smiling and laughing releases endorphins, which fights stress, helps to relax and reminds you that life is more than just work. Even if it feels strange at first, make it a point to smile more often.

Do Women Today Like the Courtship – Flowers, Love Notes, Opening the Door?

This might be a totally weird topic, and honestly ‘Chivalry’ should not be dead, but I wanted to find out because I had a friend of mine (woman) tell me that she really doesn’t need a guy to open the doors for her, pick-up the check, send her flowers, leave little love notes…she actually said yuk to that. So I wanted to ask and see the responses I got. It seems that there are a lot of women out there that are so independent that the need for Chivalry is not part of there thoughts. Now, this might be contracting but interesting…women look for stability, financially and mentally. They look for kindness, but not in the form of opening the door, picking up the check or leaving love notes, they want a man to be kind towards them in the form of, listening, sharing, having the same values and having somewhat the same overall goal of being stable in their golden years. They want a man not to buy flowers, but to teach their children how to grow flowers, they don’t look for fancy jewelry, but things that will make there lives more efficient. They want a man not to leave love notes, but to be there and tell them in person what they feel, of course any women would love to receive gifts, flowers, but not at the cost of there relationship. Flowers come and go, but communication can die and a lot of times it does. Men feel that flowers can solve all problems, but they don’t.
I was interested in finding out that a lot of the women I talked to prefer to talk to there man, they feel no need to spend hundreds of dollars on things that are not important as there family is. The economy is tough today and couples have hunkered down on there spending…and many couples have come to enjoy more communication today as they did when they first met. Many women don’t need all that courtship, then prefer to have a man true to there relationship, concentrating on there future together…ok yah maybe when you first meet its not all about getting marriage, settling down, but we all look for some stability and courtship is great…but if there is nothing behind it…no solid desire to be together..then it’s simply a courtship…of gifts and material things and never a commitment.

So I was surprised that many women don’t need all the things that come with be a Chivalry man, but a few qualities and the stability would do just fine. So the next time you think about giving flowers, maybe you should plant a few for your home so that you both nourish it to growth as your relationship, the next time you think of leaving a little note, why not tell her in person, the next time you think about going out for dinner, why don’t you cook for her. There is nothing wrong with buying her things, giving her flowers, leaving her notes, but when that’s all it becomes….then the relationship looses the bond, the connection, the communication.

My Perspective:
As I said before, it’s all up to the individual. Each person is different and each culture is different. I think if you both “communicate” before hand or during the time you are getting to know each other, whether it is courtship or friendship, if you talk about it, then there won’t be any misunderstandings…communication…I am telling you…it is the vital ingriedient in any relationship. As for, I try my best to listen and watch the other person reactions; I like to open doors pick up the check, but if I noticed that maybe it bothers her, then I ask if she is ok with it…communicate…and if she smiles and enjoys the attention then I know its ok. You need to listen, and watch to people give out body language to different situations, sometimes they don’t notice and maybe you don’t either, but if you communicate there won’t be any misunderstanding. Imagine, if you learn to talk early in your relationship and make it a habit, part of your lives, I am sure it will make a huge difference in your future lives together, if there is one. Always be a gentlemen, but watch for the body language and talk…men…there isn’t anything wrong with talking.

This was a great topic I hope to see some comments…till next time.

How Long Should You Date Before Getting Married?

Ok…this is one topic I will definitely leave “My Perspective” on, of course before I do, here is the question:

“How Long Should You Date Before you Get Married?”

Now, this is probably going to be long and I am sure that everyone has an opinion on this and I did ask a few people, out of curiosity, and this is what I gathered. Many people believe in that old saying, “Love at First Site”…oh yah and they actually said it to me and many are definitely stuck on that and believe it will happen or did happen to them. So, the thing is…that honestly you do not know someone until you live with them. Now, come on…this goes for you guys and gals as well; how often are you…you when you first meet someone or are just dating try to be the perfect gentlemen or lady…ok…ok…there are some freaks out there…whoo hooo. But honestly most of us always want to put out our best first…most of the time…I don’t think that if you have a bad habit that you would be displaying it on your first date…hey you never know…some probably do…then again this question would not pertain to them…I would hope.
So, as I said, many of us always put our best first, yah…you bring flowers, leave little notes, holding hands, a stolen kiss…yah…the good old days…huh. Well, then it could even lead to spending the night…of course nothing happens right…just a pajama party…right…yah…ok.
Here is the thing how long should you be dating/seeing each other when you decide to get married? I noticed that the answer always depends on the person’s age, social status, career. Now, many younger singles…if not in college would say that 6-9 months is enough. For those that are in college feel that marriage should not happen until after college…you could date for about 4-6 years. Now, there are some singles that are between the ages of 30-35…give an take…that think dating for about 3-6 months should be more than enough to get to know each other. Most of these people told me that living together usually leads to a (Too Long) relationship and no marriage. Only a few people mentioned to me that they should first live together before they get married, that way you usually know what little habits they might have…and you don’t mind dealing with.

Now most of these people did tell me that they had the experience of, “Love at First Site”…leading to dating then marriage. Now, a very large percent of those that told me “Love at First Site”…also told me that they have many issues with their relationships and that there is a strain on their marriage. Here are the causes of those strains, bad and annoying habits, different values and the intimate life. Those things could have been resolved or known if you had lived with the person. I totally understand that some religions do not allow a couple to live together before marriage…and I respect that…so…you need to make it a longer courtship/dating period…get to know the person well.

So the question is how long is long enough? I don’t claim to know the answer even with a poll taken…there is so many variables involved and you know…people answer what they wish, but most of the time they do something else. So I guess it all depends…as well as anything in life…everyone is different, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be happy.

My Perspective:
Ok…this is definitely my perspective/opinion…nothing more. I totally understand about religion and the importance to believe in something or someone higher; how I see it though is…the Pastor, Priest, Reverend are not going to live with your significant other. You go to church, temple or place of worship and pray, give homage to a higher being…they whom ever you are looking up to…is not going to live with your significant other. Yes your church, temple or place of worship can help you find a gentler side to you, help you through tough times, allow for inner peace, but once again…they will not live with your significant other. I am sure you can always ask your Priest, Pastor, or Reverend this question, does your God, higher being, or whom ever you look towards for answers or help…wish only happiness for you. The questions is happiness, you and the other person deserve it and I have to say…that living with that person for sometime…6 months to a tear…no more…will definitely help in your long term marriage.
From experience…I met my significant other…2-weeks later I asked her to marry me. I was nearly 30 and she was older…I felt the time to settling down was necessary, I had a good career, I was financially stable, I felt I was mentally ready for a relations and everything that came with it and 4-weeks after I had met her…we were married. The first year was an absolutely nightmare…for both of us. I have to say that before you marry…you need to be willing to take on anything that comes at you…you need to live with the person…believe things come out into the light when you are living together…oh yah they do…I have asked and I have been told. Live with the person for 6 months to a year…no more…if you are over 30…if you are under 30…maybe a little more time…another 6 months. Marriage is a monster commitment and you both need to be aware of what comes with it…its not holding hands, kissing, flowers, dinners…yah you should keep those, but marriage comes many more things, pooling of finances, there are 2 people that need to decide on something…not just you. And there are the questions of kids…that’s another big thing that many have a hard time dealing with, because if you have a child with someone that has an annoying habit that you just can’t deal with…that won’t only affect you, your significant other, but the child that was brought into the world. Think about it…how long should you date before getting married…live together first.

Thanks for reading and please leave a comment, opinion; I would love to read it…till next time.