This might be a totally weird topic, and honestly ‘Chivalry’ should not be dead, but I wanted to find out because I had a friend of mine (woman) tell me that she really doesn’t need a guy to open the doors for her, pick-up the check, send her flowers, leave little love notes…she actually said yuk to that. So I wanted to ask and see the responses I got. It seems that there are a lot of women out there that are so independent that the need for Chivalry is not part of there thoughts. Now, this might be contracting but interesting…women look for stability, financially and mentally. They look for kindness, but not in the form of opening the door, picking up the check or leaving love notes, they want a man to be kind towards them in the form of, listening, sharing, having the same values and having somewhat the same overall goal of being stable in their golden years. They want a man not to buy flowers, but to teach their children how to grow flowers, they don’t look for fancy jewelry, but things that will make there lives more efficient. They want a man not to leave love notes, but to be there and tell them in person what they feel, of course any women would love to receive gifts, flowers, but not at the cost of there relationship. Flowers come and go, but communication can die and a lot of times it does. Men feel that flowers can solve all problems, but they don’t.
I was interested in finding out that a lot of the women I talked to prefer to talk to there man, they feel no need to spend hundreds of dollars on things that are not important as there family is. The economy is tough today and couples have hunkered down on there spending…and many couples have come to enjoy more communication today as they did when they first met. Many women don’t need all that courtship, then prefer to have a man true to there relationship, concentrating on there future together…ok yah maybe when you first meet its not all about getting marriage, settling down, but we all look for some stability and courtship is great…but if there is nothing behind it…no solid desire to be together..then it’s simply a courtship…of gifts and material things and never a commitment.
So I was surprised that many women don’t need all the things that come with be a Chivalry man, but a few qualities and the stability would do just fine. So the next time you think about giving flowers, maybe you should plant a few for your home so that you both nourish it to growth as your relationship, the next time you think of leaving a little note, why not tell her in person, the next time you think about going out for dinner, why don’t you cook for her. There is nothing wrong with buying her things, giving her flowers, leaving her notes, but when that’s all it becomes….then the relationship looses the bond, the connection, the communication.
My Perspective:
As I said before, it’s all up to the individual. Each person is different and each culture is different. I think if you both “communicate” before hand or during the time you are getting to know each other, whether it is courtship or friendship, if you talk about it, then there won’t be any misunderstandings…communication…I am telling you…it is the vital ingriedient in any relationship. As for, I try my best to listen and watch the other person reactions; I like to open doors pick up the check, but if I noticed that maybe it bothers her, then I ask if she is ok with it…communicate…and if she smiles and enjoys the attention then I know its ok. You need to listen, and watch to people give out body language to different situations, sometimes they don’t notice and maybe you don’t either, but if you communicate there won’t be any misunderstanding. Imagine, if you learn to talk early in your relationship and make it a habit, part of your lives, I am sure it will make a huge difference in your future lives together, if there is one. Always be a gentlemen, but watch for the body language and talk…men…there isn’t anything wrong with talking.
This was a great topic I hope to see some comments…till next time.
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