Picking Your Battles

You know I guess this topic isn’t anything new, I am sure it’s been posted and even talked about in conversations. But, I realized the other day that after several occurrences or crazy things that have happened over the past several month have build up to one final incident…bringing to realize that dam…there are some things in life, well in our everyday life that we simply cannot change; And it isn’t one of those things where people say, “I am stuck between a rock and a hard place”, because it isn’t that at all.

I could seriously start from the beginning, but that would go as far back as nearly 3 years ago and it would seriously be a lot of repeat content, but mostly things that I am sure others are going through…anyhow. My thing is after a discussion with my someone I had…it all hit me like a brick. Now, I think it was all those little things that were building up and I just was ignoring…well…all it took was one more thing and BAM, it all came tumbling down at once. And you know this is something that we do with pretty much everything in our lives…I think we see and hear those little nagging things and we simply ignore them hoping they will go away, but eventually, maybe a week later or maybe 10 years later…it all hits you at once.

The thing is why, is it that we as humans prefer to go through all these things and not listen to our parents….I mean I am sure there are parents out there that want to teach their kids about things…and what to avoid and so on…but they simply don’t listen and well…struggle through life. It isn’t after they get married, have kids and live a while…that they realized that, “Dam why didn’t I listen to my parents?” I don’t get it, but it will never change…it is a part of our evolutions, our cycle of life...and it seems it can’t be broken…now there might e a few that get out and move ahead, write books, become famous and yet even with that…kids never listen.

So, back to my case, or issue or reason for this post, you see. Like any parent we try to teach our kids, we try and explain, provide the tools for them to become better people. Of course with that, comes some yelling, some grounding, or taking away of privileges or other things, but I come to realize that it simply doesn’t work…nothing does. You yell, you ask, you ground and they might do it for a day or might listen to you for that one time…that someone offers them a cigarette or alcohol…but then they simply break down…of course with the help of their peers…those kids that you wished your kids never met...but they do. And in the meantime…your blood pressure, your cholesterol your health begins to dwindle away…and your golden years become the “Black” years…nothing really to look forward to except health issues, money issues and more than likely relationship issues.

So, after getting hit with this HUGE reality check, since I was told that by a realistic person…a person that doesn’t dream, because dreams don’t pay the bills or buy $500 dollar shoes…opps…sorry…but after that reality check…my body felt as if a weight was lifted…I didn’t care anymore…now wait…I care about my children, their education, their well being and most importantly that they are successful, but I can’t force something onto any one, adult or child something they simply don’t want, but I can show them the good things that will come with hard work, getting an education, keeping healthy…as compared to not doing any of those things…you can show them. The thing is then you begin to pick the battles, the things that have a very good chance to be changed.

Such as having your child keep their room clean…nope, don’t bother, don’t get upset, but every once in a while ask them to clean their room in a firm voice…that’s all…but if 90% of the time their room is dirty…so be it. Your friend, sister-n-law, or whom ever…has issues with men or women, but you know it is them with the problem…you can’t change them, don’t get upset, yes you love them but is your health really something you can put in front of those with problems they simply don’t want to change…you can’t change them, but you can simply listen…but don’t worry…something you simply can’t change…let it go.

You have people that are dreamers and are always looking for that opportunity to get financial secured, you might know someone, but just because you believe or think that things are impossible, doesn’t mean that it cannot be accomplished and if that individuals is a dreamer…so be it…why in the world would you want o have health issues or get upset or anything if you can’t change them…yah you love them and you don’t want them to blow their inheritance, but you can listen and provide some advice…but don’t get upset, let it go.

If you actually sit down at a table and layout all the things that bring stress, anger, or other negative feelings…you will see that most of them are simply things you cannot change and if you approach them as though they are what they are and don’t let them get to you…you will be able to reduce the list or things to a few things that then you can concentrate on working them out.

The thing sis, that we are all aware of this old saying, but it is so true when you think about it, “Pick Your Battles”. And you will see a better you….which is what is important here…”YOU”, because if you think about it, how many people count on you and if anything happens to you…how many people will it affect…they need you around…so my suggestion here is…get some alone time, write out all the things that make you tense, angry, stressed and so one and begin choosing those that you simply cannot change, they are not life threatening and cross it off. Before you know it, the list will be manageable and “Your” health will be yours.

I am probably preaching…but with such a hit to my self-worth or self…I thought heck let me share.

My Perspective:
If you have dreams, keep them alive…but of course make sure you research what you want to do before going in head-over-heals…and loose your shirt. It’s ok to take some advice from others, but if they become negative remarks, ask them kindly to with-hold their comments…if they care about you…they will understand, but no one and I mean no one should bring down your dreams, you aspirations…or whatever you personally feel is important to you. Believe me you will have many, many reality checks through out your life…and some will be small and some will be HUGE, life changing…just remember with everything that is going on around us…don’t take on the little things in life…believe me, you will eventually understand why I am saying that, but why not take the advice now so you don’t wreck your health now…only saying.

I know, we all want to learn on our own, we want to be first time parents, first time this and that, but if you had someone that went through the same thing or path…come on there is nothing wrong with just listening to the advice they might have…something out of it might feel right and work for you…but never allow someone to put you down on your dreams…if they don’t like them then don’t share it with them…there are others that will more than likely feel enthusiastic about them as much as you…but always research…always research before jumping into anything.

Thanks for reading, till next time Latino Man signing off.

Babies - Future

Babies – aren’t they just wonderful? I mean, where I work it seems that there are hundreds of people having babies or had babies and it’s about this time that they start bringing their babies into the office. You see people walking around like proud parent, that they should be and display their price position…their child. Of course the reaction around the office is a lot of goos and gass…holding of the baby and of course the crying of the baby, because who in the heck are all thes4e people.

Now sometimes you hear the after affect of I would like another, or I am fine with the ones I have or I am done. It’s funny babies and children bring specific remarks from different people, I noticed that those older of course are more intended to say they are done, while those younger are more inclined to mentioned having another child. As for me, I have my son and daughter and I am pretty much done…why because I am fixed…yah…fixed. Anyhow, so what sometimes gets me is some parent or colleagues bring in their children when they are weeks old or even days old…wait I have seen a parent bring in their pre-mature child days out of the hospital on oxygen tanks…WHAT are they thinking; I mean there are people always sick in the office and believe me when I tell you that 95 percent of them don’t bother washing their hands….get my drift.

So why bring in your new born into an environment like that…come on…send pictures or a video…with cell phones being so high Tech and mostly everyone having them…that’s a better alternative than taking the chance on getting your newborn sick.

I was wondering the whole baby thing…it’s amazing that even in today’s economy people are having children left and right…I wonder if they are even aware of what the economy is looking like…I mean people have that old saying that “we’ll cross that bridge when it comes” but come on…if the bridge is out and you have three additional people to get across why would you take that chance? I don’t know  am just amazed about everything happening around us and maybe just going with the flow is the correct thing to do…you know not even worry about what tomorrow will bring, but live for today…but won’t that at some point bite us in the butt? I mean there has to be something that we need to do in order to be prepared for that bridge when it comes or isn’t there…and maybe not everyone is thinking about that…but I know I am one person that even if I could have more kids now, I wouldn’t at this point…not now, not with this economy unsteadiness…nope…yah maybe we don’t know when it will clear up if it will but for now that wouldn’t be something I would be willing to go through…making things tougher by having more kids.

Anyhow…babies they are wonderful, they are so innocent, they are a reflection of us their parents, they deserve complete and utter devotion to nurture them, teach them and of course love them…but do it as long as you make sure you have that same love for yourself…it won’t do the any good if you are falling apart.

Hey thanks for reading another corky post, but cherish the moments, but be prepared for the things to come. Latino Man signing off, till next time…take care, be safe and be adventures.

Our Children Are Mirror Images of Us

The other day I was thinking about my son, he is 8 years old. Now, the thing is I really didn’t have a father when I was growing up. So trying to recall anything I could have learned from him as been a father figure, well that is out the window. The thing is my son has noticeably become more disobedient and ever so often, more than often, he is starting to lie. Now, don’t get me wrong the lies are not huge or devastation, but I would like to help stop it now before he gets older and it becomes more difficult to teach him, sort of speaking, regarding lying. Now, I understand that currently I am going through some marital problems and I pretty certain that some of the issues he is displaying are from that, but of course I do my best to explain things to him, I know he is only 8 years old and people have told me that that is the reason for his new attitude. The thing is…I don’t think that is the only reason and maybe it is difficult for me to determine what might be the cause taking the situation I am in, but I guess will never really know until possibly he gets older to find out what was all the ruckus about.

I honestly believe that our children are a mirror image of us; they mimic our actions, habits and values. Now the sad thing about this is, in my opinion, that as parents or better yet said, as adults we know we have certain unhealthy habits and we know that we would like for our children to be better people than us. You know the story, I use to have to walk for miles in the rain, snow to get to school and you get a ride. Yah ok, well that maybe true but of course times have change, technology has change and well our children are more technology savvy. Now, we provide, we teach, we encourage, we do many things for our children trying for them to be better than us. Many parents have a tendency to live through the children’s eyes, but I think that sometimes that creates many issues and frustration on the art f the children and of course the parent. What I am trying to say is that we know of our unhealthy habits, maybe exaggeration, and drama or lying and yet we teach those to our children.

Let me give you an example. I know a couple that directly lies to one child when the other child is doing something special and the other child is not included. The child getting that special occasion is told by the parents it is ok to lie to her sister, so as not to cause her to cry, etc…etc.…you know since she wasn’t invited. Now, they do this with each child, one has something going on and the other doesn’t so the parents proceed to tell that child that it is ok to lie so as not to hurt the other siblings feelings. The thing is that, the children start to believe that lying is ok; so they start to lie to other children and adults thinking it is ok to lie that to hurt someone’s feeling. The thing is that the lies, if left unchecked, begin to become made-up stories, or lies that can actually be dangerous or really hurt someone. So my thing is that if parents know, and I am sure they know, why do they do this? Parents say they want the best for their children and wish for them to be successful and a contributor to society, but if they have these habits and continue to teach them to their children then when does the cycle stop?

Why can’t we as parents and most importantly as adults see that our unhealthy habits should not be passes on to our children? I mean…I have a temper….but most of the time it is for absolutely good reason, anyhow am not justifying it. But when I get upset, really upset around my children I do my best and most of the time to show my children how to handle the anger. I will either count backwards starting from 10 and if it is something really big I start from 20, my son gets a kick out of it. Plus I do other things like if I am working on something I get upset or reading something; I step away and say out loud, “I’ll come back to that later”…you know defuse the situation. Little things that are child appropriate, but actually work. So I am trying to show my kids how to deal with different possible upsetting situation. Because you can only talk or lecture so much before any child, hey even some adults, will stop listening. I cold keep going with sample, and observations and I am so certain that many of parents are teaching or doing things that they prefer not to have their kids see or learn, yet they still do it and worse of all they get upset at their kids for doing what they do…I can’t comprehend that.

My Perspective:
Teach our children to really be better people than us. Stop before you react, make sure either your kids are not around or that you have a plan on how to deal with the situation, teach your kids good habits, teach your kids how to deal with the situation and not point fingers or react in anger. I know for some of us it is difficult to teach old dogs new tricks, but you know we are adults, we are for the most part intelligent, and I know that we all want what is best for our kids, it needs to start with you. The cycle needs to be broken, and don; use poverty, finances, marriage or anything else, because the way you handle all these things is the way your child will handle them…and if you step back and look at your reactions to those upsetting situations…you might be surprised that, man I look like that or I sounds like that or I did that…yah you did and your child will do it as well. So remember react properly or according to whom is watching, don’t smoke in front of your kids, don’t drink in front of your kids, don’t display anger towards your husband or wife in front of your kids, there is a time and place for everything…remember your child needs you to teach them the right way…the way you wish you can do…but are stick in those old habits. Your child will be a better, happier, more successful person when he grows up.

Thanks for reading till next time…Latino Man signing off.

Who is Nicer…a Step Mom or a Step Dad?

"…Ma…Pa…I’m hungry…I’m bored…are we almost there yet”

Now, as parent we sometimes forget how much work it really is to raise kids…I mean maybe not forget, but ever so often we get into those moments where we just want to pull out our hair. But, of course those great moments always out-weigh the bad ones or do they.

Now, as parents we build tolerances and we adjust to our kids every whim and cry, but is it because we have that connection with our child, I mean, what about a step father or step mother…do they have that same tolerance with kids that are from other marriages?

Actually that’s my topic for today, “who is nicer a step mom or step dad”. I did some research through out our wonderful internet and I was totally amazed at what I read, found regarding this topic. I mean, go ahead and do some research…I am sure you’ll be surprised at what you find. Now, during my search, I found that about 75% of the articles, discussions, blogs, etc. leaned towards the Step father being nicer. Yah…sort of weird I guess, well at least for me it is, because I always heard or understood of the ‘Motherly’ intuition or the ‘Mother – Child” bond being stronger than anything we know, so…when it comes to a step mother, why would it be different?

Now, I would not be able to put in my experience personally, I only grew up with my mother…but I do recall friends and some of the things they talked about, when there was ever a step mother or father involved. Now, most of the time I heard more about the step father, since kids usually end up with their mom and the mom most of the time re-married…and let me tell you…most of the steps fathers, that I heard about, were pretty darn mean. So, when I did my research I was surprised to find what I did.

I do recall one friend, actually I couldn’t forget…you see a close friend of mine in high school, lost his mom in a car accident, the father re-married and actually remarried to a very young wife. Let me tell you, she was HOT…ok…hey even my friend thought so…yah it was his mom…or step mom, but still she was hot…but besides that she was totally cool…seriously. Any time anything happen at home that my friend would cause, she would take the blame, if my friend stayed out late she would sooth my friends father and always said to him, :Come on honey, were you a teenage once”. Yah she was totally cool, so once again I was surprised to read so much about a step mom being the meaner of the two.

My Perspective:
I think that a motherly instinct is always on, whether it’s her child or not. Now, ok, we do here stories about mom’s gone bananas…but of course life always has its bad apples. Anyhow, I think a mom or step mom would for the most part always look after the welfare of a child, it’s part of being a women. So, if anyone of you has a story to share, please do…I would like to hear from you.

Thanks for reading, till next time, Latino Man signing off.

Our Work Place – Our Economy – Our Lives

Welcome to another blog entry and another topic I believe is extremely hot these days. I would like to talk about our economy, but particularly on the subject of employment.

Now it’s all over the news, we hear it everyday or read about it everyday…yah ok…the media is pulling away from the subject of unemployment, but its still there lurking in the back…ready to pounce hard one day…soon. You see…I wanted to talk about what’s really going on, well, what I think is going. You see, after the real estate bubble burst in 2007-2008 …every aspect of every ones life changed. You see, not only did we see a drop in housing prices, but we also saw a huge up in gas prices…come on…oil commodity shot up to nearly 114 a barrel…and of course when gas prices go up…everything else goes…you know it, such as all foods, goods and well business costs.

Now as with many companies, lay offs was the beginning of things to come. You see unemployment up…high…and some states awfully high and well you see what I am talking about...its happening to everyone. Now, I wanted to touch on the job situation, you see at my job, I have seen three or four waves of layoffs and just recently a reduction in working hours…now that doesn’t mean the work load went down as well…you see…the people that are working now…have to take on many roles and do many more things in order to keep working and of course keep the company from laying off more people…so those few that are left has had to kick it up a notch…anyhow…the reduction in work hours as well as a freeze on raises…yah…you see…many of us…well….many of those that make a certain amount…had no raise in 2009…and now everyone this year 2010 gets no raise and a reduction in hours....so as I said I am not trying to jinks our way of lives…but I thinks that things will get worst before the get better.

Now, I have been lucky to have kept my job…the thing is I not only have a 8-5 job or wait a minute a 8-4.30 job, but I also am a license Real Estate agent and believe me there are only a hand full that are still keeping a float…I have seeing hundreds of agents just through up their hands and quit. I also have my Notary and I am running a website business…of course all those things…have gotten hit hard and well…many talk about hanging in there, but really how much longer can we hang in there before it becomes to much.

I am not trying to sound negative, but since 2007..its been a drive down hill and well…its not all fun when you are only headed in one direction, but yes I do keep my chin up for my family…kids…they don’t have a clue…they hear, but really don’t understand and I will keep it that way. Any how… wanted to share this, to let you know that you are not alone, there are many…many others like us out there trying to make it, some have it worst than others and we can only hope for the best. I certainly appreciate the time you took to read this and please feel free to share your story, you know I feel a bit better now that I got that off my chest.

Till next time, thanks for reading…Latino Man signing off

The Bad Trip

Welcome to another Post…I know…its definitely being a while, but things are so busy…I have to give it to those that can post everyday or every other day…just can’t seem to find the time…but I am here now and with an interesting topic.

Now, a few weekends ago I headed down to Ensenada Baja California. This was the first time I have been there by myself since I have been married. My significant other is from Ensenada and well…since we have a new born she didn’t want to take the risk of taking her down there to young…so she encouraged me to go and represent…sort of speaking. So…I was extremely reluctant…I really don’t like the border on the way back…but since my brother-n-law was going to go and he would drive…I said why not…crazy…but I did.

So let me tell you from the start…how my weekend went. They picked me up on Friday at 8:00pm…we headed out…crossed the boarder into Mexico about 30 minutes…we had to make a quick stop to drop off some things to someone…well…we got lost…oh yah…we finally found the place around 9ish…so we unloaded the TRUCK…then everyone wanted tacos…so we went to a little stand…ate…it was about 10pm…of course beer was a necessity…so they…not me…started drinking…I am talking about the driver….so anyhow…we finally got on our way…about 10:45pm Friday…it was a crazy drive there…driver was drinking…something awkward…but we were in Mexico…we got to Ensenada around 1:00am in the morning…more drinking…I couldn’t believe how they love to drink…you know I like my beers. but come on. So went to sleep at or around 2:00am…well…if you call it sleeping…with people partying outside, cars stretching there tires…well I saw the sun rise.

Saturday morning went down stairs…guess what…they were drinking…WOW…so I went outside…guess what…the place needed cleaning for the big birthday fiesta…it was the other brother-n-law…you see he has never thrown a birthday party…so it was going to be a HUGE event…so I cleaned for most if not all of the morning…and I mean cleaned. We took off to get tables…about 6…drove back and set them up…oh yah all why the driver was drinking. They started preparing the food…and then some final touches…the party started around 5:00pm on Saturday…lots of liquor…lots. Now, I noticed that once the party started…I was pretty much forgotten about…I tried getting into the conversations, but the people kept moving away…or making up an excuse about having to go somewhere (to the next table)…it happen all night long…you just know when you aren’t wanted…seriously…some of you have been in that situation…so anyhow…I did drink but I found a point where I had enough…so around 11:00pm Saturday I snuck away…and headed towards the bedroom…well…that really didn’t do much for I didn’t sleep…pretty much half of the people there partied until the sun rose.

Sunday morning…went down stairs…they were still drinking….I could not believe it…I was wondering when they would fall over from alcohol poisoning…so they then started getting on my case…why I left…why I didn’t drink…and a few insults here and there. Blew it off…so Sunday morning I went outside and started cleaning up…you know…I seriously bagged up about 30 bags of cans (not crushed)…it was amazing…and there were bottles of Tequila…not one…not two…but about 10…and I have to mention they were HUGE bottles. So anyhow, I spent my Sunday morning cleaning. Now I was hungry…because I hadn’t eating since Friday night…because at the party they had Caguama…only…nothing else…really nothing else…and well I really don’t like it. sorry…that’s just me. I pretty much had it…so I told one of the brothers that I wanted to go get something to eat…they said…because the other butted in…why don’t you eat Caguama …I said…no thanks. So they took me to a place to eat meat…sorry for those vegetarians out there…but I needed meat. When we got there…they didn’t eat…only order beer…I ate…then I paid…which honestly I didn’t mind…I was hungry and well I wanted to go out.

So we left…but guess what on our way back…they stopped by to get micheladas…beer prepared…wow…amazing. Well…we said out good buys and around 6:00pm…we headed back to the gold old US of A. Wait…we had to stop to get more micheladas and a 12 pack of beer…for the drive…wow…well…we made it to the border around 8:00ish…we actually didn’t have to wait long… was so thanking a higher being at that moment….so we crossed I got home around 9:00pm. I pretty much jumped out of the truck while it was moving…and ran inside…yah I looked like “Leave it To Beaver” coming home…so anyways.

My dearest asked how it went…well I told her what I am telling you…and do you know what she said I was a party popper…and she didn’t want me talking about her family in such a bad way…I understand and I respect that…I guess I know where I stand…I am definitely second when it comes to the family….oh well…the thing I learned was…I will never go again to Ensenada…never.

My Perspective
Never go out with in-Laws…lol…just kidding…Thanks for reading till next time and this time hopefully sooner. Than later.