Ok, also, I don’t support anyone drinking and driving…yes…ok…I hear it all the time since I was a kid to now my adult age; friends, co-workers, family, even well known Lawyers and myself included…sometimes have a drink or two and drive…unfortunately that is something we can not control…there will always be someone out there doing what they should not be doing; whether it is stealing, fraud, hacking, drinking and driving, there will always be individuals doing things that we normally do not agree to, but like I said I don’t support any illegal actions related to drinking. Hopefully I made that clear, but also people make mistakes so we have a little of everything in life. So on to my topic, actually it’s a beef I have.
Let’s start from the beginning and build from there; I won’t make it long, but to the point. You are in a relationship, whether you are just starting off or in it for 20 years…ok. I am going to pick on the men for this topic, because to be honest it relates to me…nothing to hide.
I met someone late in my life. I wasn’t ever married and had no kids. I had an established career and I felt I was ready to settle down and start a family. Like most couples, the first attraction was physical, she was not extra skinny or model looking…ok…she was voluptuous and had one particular characteristic, she had no children. Ok, I am not saying I wouldn’t have dated someone with kids, because most of my previous relationships, the women had children. Anyhow, we met; we dated briefly about 2 weeks, to be exact, and got married; Crazy.
Let me get to the topic part of this. So, this is me in a nut shell…well I’ll try and then you let me know if I am bad. I have been in my career nearly 20 years, I make descent money, I work for someone, I run a website business, not anything to write home about, but it pays for its own marketing, I am a Real Estate agent and I am a Notary. As you can see I work hard, or at least I seriously try.
My family lives in a 4 bedroom home, in a very nice neighborhood…I mean you can leave your wallet out on the dang sidewalk and no one will take it or they will knock on neighbors doors trying to fine the owner. We own a nice family car; I own a vehicle as well…so two car family…common I know. We have a Made that comes each week to clean the house. You don’t have to worry about the Kids playing outside and at night it’s as peaceful as can be. One of my kids goes to a very good school, we have a teacher that comes to our home to teach my son piano, my son plays hockey, and at the birthday parties we have magicians, fire trucks and well, things that you normally don’t see at kid’s birthdays. I am not trying to brag, just trying to paint the picture. We have a good life, of course we are struggling just like many families, but we work hard each day to make it through. I work extra hard not for recognition but to provide the things I would like my family to have and most importantly I am working hard now so we will have something for retirement later…seriously…I really do not want to work in my 60’s, that’s my goal. Now, I enjoy drinking, and I mostly do so on Fridays and Saturdays; ever so often I might drink once maybe twice during the week. Now, the drinking doesn’t start until the kids are sleeping, which is 8:00pm. And I normally drink maybe 5 or 6 drinks; let me tell you my pleasure. I drink Presidente, which is a brandy and can be purchased at a local store on sale for 5.99…sometimes they have a larger bottle on sale for 11.99, which is the only time I purchase the liquor. I mixed my branding with Squirt, I usually purchase on sales 3-12 packets for 9.99…total of 36 cans. I can make 2 drinks with each can. This is what I do, I get a 12 ounce or maybe 14 ounce glass, I fill it up half way with ice, I then pour 1 ½ shots of Presidente in to the glass and pour half the can of squirt into the glass, that’s where I can make 2 drinks with one can of squirt. I usually go through 4 cans of squirt equaling 6 drinks…now most of the time I leave ½ of can of squirt. This is all done after 8pm Fridays and Saturdays and maybe once or twice during the week…seldom.
Now, let me go back to my day before the drinking begins. Monday through Friday I work 7-4, I sometimes show houses during the week, after my normal job or maybe I need to work a Loan. Every so often I might get a Notary job, in either case I keep busy. I get home and I either cook dinner, maybe 30% of the time but I BBQ during the summer all the time, but I definitely clean up afterwards whether I cook or not. While she is cooking I am either helping my son with his homework, which is all the time, or entertaining the kids, my son or my baby daughter, by playing games. I change diapers, prepare bottles, while she cooks. Once dinner is served I feed the baby 50% of the time while I eat, after dinner I clean up, by either helping to pick up the house, vacuuming, pick up toys, etc. I then prepare my son for a bath, which I do. I get him ready with PJ’s and prepare his evening snack, while preparing the evening bottle for my daughter. I read to my son, I send him of to brush his teeth while I put my daughter down to sleep, with a little singing and rocking…It takes about 10-15 minutes. I then get my son to bed, wish him a good night and turning off the lights. I then walk around the house, locking doors, closing windows if it is cold, and making sure the kitchen is clean. Kids asleep, house is settled, I then turn on my computer and begin going through my daily emails for Real Estate, Loans, Notary etc. at that point I prepare my first drink, I sit down at the computer and begin working once again. Take it this is only on the week days, on the weekends, I have to work around the house, cut grass, clean out weeds, sweep, etc.
So I ask you, am I a bad person, with a problem? Do I not deserve to indulge on Fridays and Saturdays without getting yelled at or scrutinized? Can I not relax, whether I do it with basket weaving or drinking? I do it responsibly, and in moderation. I mean I get no attention from my significant other anyways, no support, not even a simply conversation about today’s activities…nothing…nothing…I don’t drunkenly grab at her to have sex…I don’t drunkenly act badly by yelling insulting, abusing mentally or physically…I just sip my drink and sit at my computer and work…the time at the computer is related to trying to make money for the family, for luxury items, college and most importantly retirement. So I ask, am I bad, do I not share in the responsibilities of the household…I mean I get to go shopping for clothing every 2 years and it is always at a discount store or at huge sales…are you serious. I am far from complaining. I don’t mind giving every thing I have…the shirt on back…my life…but if the biggest issue anyone could have with me is me drinking two days out of the week, while still doing all the duties, and more, that are required of a father and husband…and yet I get scold at, scrutinize, talk down to…for drinking 2 days out of the week…am I a bad person?
I heard a comment on this subject not long ago, a lady said that her husband was a great husband, great provider, always made sure there was food, a way of transportation, a roof over their head, helped around the house, cooked, cleaned, did laundry…did most of everything but always had a glass of whiskey every night…you know what she said…I’ll pour him the drink, because he has never failed me or my kids.
My Perspective:
As long as the man provides for the family, progresses in his life, helps in all aspects of a family unit, participates and does not act badly, erratically or is abusive to any of the family members or anyone else for that matter…then drinking in a responsible matter should not be frowned upon and no one should make that man feel that he is worth-less.
Thanks for reading. I am looking forward to your emails and comments…and don’t worry, you won’t offend me. Latino Man signing off, till next time.
