Interracial Relationships

Welcome to another post. I do want to say that I am truly sorry for not having posted in such a long while, and only do to the fact that I have a three month at home and well…they do require a lot of attention, but here I am and I am touching on topic that was actually requested by a reader….so thank you Reader and lets see what you think.

Now, today’s topic is and always has been on the whispers of the society…it has been a controversial issue since…well…since at least my parents grew up and probably even further…actually of course…because they did share their view on this, which of course I will share. What I am talking about is Interracial Relationships. What I am saying hopefully won’t cause any hardships and as with my blog and of course many others this is solely my opinion and my experiences…they are not to be taken to heart, but rather viewed as a perspective of another’s person view and I hope only to provide you the reader with some interesting information…now I am saying all this because I am certain someone will undoubtedly contradict my view…which is fine…and I welcome it…I just don’t want anyone to get offended…ok…that’s more what I don’t want…anyone to get offended…ok so enough about that and let’s move on.

Now, growing up for me…interracial relationships was a big taboo…nobody really said anything when they saw it, it was only whispered in private, “Did you see Ajay with Susan today, I wonder what her mom thinks”. Those were the types of comments, in private that were said. Now…in high school…I recall…it was a total in-thing…..you know there was perception about certain ethnic groups…mainly men…of course easiest one to mentioned…and well women wanted to find out…plain and simple.

Now, Black-American men having relationships with Caucasian women was the most common and high school kids thought it was totally cool…but…but…many that were in a relationship did so in secrecy…mostly because of their parents and of course adults. They did want parents or adults to condemn them and make their lives more difficult…as it was their relationship was always scrutinized…even a simple hand-holding in the mall…got them unwanted remarks. Now, the funny thing is it wasn’t only the adults that did not approve of these relationships…the thing is…and I did hear these comments…many of the Black-American women did not like these relationships…many of the comments whispered, “Why does she have to date Ajay, can’t she find herself a white man. Now they are up all on our men”. So on occasion I did see a few fights between women of color and Caucasian woman…I think that an the fact that your parents or other adults scrutinized the relationship made it more difficult for those that fell in love that were separated by their color.

I remember my mother, she wasn’t against it…but of course she always did tell me to marry an nice Mexican woman…hey…you know…she wasn’t against it, but she did indirectly wanted to guide me down another road…well incase I got any ideas…lol. Now, I recall my father…well some of his friends talk about the military years and how they met their wives over seas…mostly in the Philippines’, China, or Bangkok and how when they got home…they never heard the end of it from there parents. So it was interesting growing up…it wasn’t a totally awful experience, but there was some indirect tensions directed towards interracial couples.

Now, I have to bring it closer to the present…the funny thing is…I still see, sense issues with interracial couples. It seems even though we broke the barrier, and time has passed to let society take in this Interracial Relationships…people still have issues…but the thing is…for example women of color still do not like the idea of a Caucasian women in dating a Black-American man...is that weird. The thing is if you see a Black-American women dating a Caucasian man…its weird for some reason…they don’t get scrutinized as much…hmmm…makes you think…there must still be some double standards…come on…even in today’s world we get people still have to sit in the back of the bus…not intentionally…but it happens indirectly.

So whether you are Black-American, Caucasian, Asian, or Mexican…and you interracial date…there seems to be some kind of pressure you have to live with directly or indirectly….which always puts strain on the relationship. Yah we have all seen a Black-American man dating a Caucasian woman…and people don’t say anything or maybe you see an Asian woman dating a Caucasian man, or a Black-American man dating a Mexican woman…but how I see it…and I could be wrong…people will always give you some kind of beef for being in that relationship…directly or indirectly…but it happens…so how I see it is…we have got passed the whole color-of-skin issue and we still bestow these values onto our children.

My Perspective:
Now, you or those that read my perspective might not agree…everyone grows up with different values and I can’t speak for you or anyone else…it is something I believe each individual needs to step back and reflect on what is the real issue in these Interracial Relationships. It comes down to…as a parent…you raised your child(ren) as best you could, giving them your values, hoping that what you taught them makes them a better person. Because when it comes down to it…ALL parents want the best for their children, but many parents cannot separate what is best for their child(ren) and what makes them happy. Not necessarily what a parent thinks to be the best for their child is the best thing…but what a parent can do is be happy for them when they are happy.

What do I think…when it comes down to it…it isn’t about the color of the skin…I mean you could be black, brown, purple, or what ever color you want, but it’s really the individual. If someone makes you happy then that’s where the heart is. If you are in a bad relationship, arguing, fighting, abusive, it doesn’t matter the color of your skin…that should never be. People fall in love because that person makes them feel good…and they like being around that person. Color doesn’t make a difference…really…a fist is a fist whether it comes from a Hispanic person or a Caucasian person…words hurt whether they come from a Black-American or a Asian…so as parents and adults we need to only care about the happiness of the person.

Ok I know what people are thinking…hey I am Hispanic and I get pulled over by cops, treaty differently at restaurants, etc…etc. But does that mean you need to be what society thinks you are…should you be a better person. I know…I know being treaty different isn’t the best feeling…when you come into a restaurant and you wait to be seated and sure enough 2 or 3 other parties (Caucasian) go before you…yah you know there was no reservations in the restaurant…so do you take it out on everyone that is around you? Do you allow them to make you be out what they expect you to be…no. You learn, you teach the right things…and maybe with enough time people could change…because you know…we can…we just need to stop the cycle…hey that’s what I think…it’s a cycle…ok…that’s my opinion.

I personally do not see the color, yah I have been treaty differently in public places, yah…I have heard the comments, insults have been directed to me…I have been passed up on a few job positions because I am Mexican…but you know…I only take that as a learning experience, as an opportunity to find a solution…every dog has his day…sounds weird, but my day will come. I am a professional, I have been in my profession for 18+ years and right now…I have Presidents, Vice Presidents, Directors, Managers and others in my fields approach me for help. I have closed 15 million dollar deals and I have earned the respect of my colleagues…it’s taken me a while, but I am there…now I pass that on to my children…the goodness…because I don’t believe that I know what is best for them…I believe I know how to make them happy…and of course along the way guide them on the right path.

If you are happy with that someone whether they are Purple, Blue, White, Black, Brown or any other color, you’ll always get some scrutiny, bad looks form people, but you keep being happy and remember you made a choice, just remember don’t let that bad Karma pass onto your kids…teach them well…teach them to move passed the color…maybe we can stop the cycle…one child at a time.

I appreciate you reading…please leave a comment, feedback and I’ll try and post a little more often. Till next time…Be Happy!