How Long Should You Date Before Getting Married?

Ok…this is one topic I will definitely leave “My Perspective” on, of course before I do, here is the question:

“How Long Should You Date Before you Get Married?”

Now, this is probably going to be long and I am sure that everyone has an opinion on this and I did ask a few people, out of curiosity, and this is what I gathered. Many people believe in that old saying, “Love at First Site”…oh yah and they actually said it to me and many are definitely stuck on that and believe it will happen or did happen to them. So, the thing is…that honestly you do not know someone until you live with them. Now, come on…this goes for you guys and gals as well; how often are you…you when you first meet someone or are just dating try to be the perfect gentlemen or lady…ok…ok…there are some freaks out there…whoo hooo. But honestly most of us always want to put out our best first…most of the time…I don’t think that if you have a bad habit that you would be displaying it on your first date…hey you never know…some probably do…then again this question would not pertain to them…I would hope.
So, as I said, many of us always put our best first, yah…you bring flowers, leave little notes, holding hands, a stolen kiss…yah…the good old days…huh. Well, then it could even lead to spending the night…of course nothing happens right…just a pajama party…right…yah…ok.
Here is the thing how long should you be dating/seeing each other when you decide to get married? I noticed that the answer always depends on the person’s age, social status, career. Now, many younger singles…if not in college would say that 6-9 months is enough. For those that are in college feel that marriage should not happen until after college…you could date for about 4-6 years. Now, there are some singles that are between the ages of 30-35…give an take…that think dating for about 3-6 months should be more than enough to get to know each other. Most of these people told me that living together usually leads to a (Too Long) relationship and no marriage. Only a few people mentioned to me that they should first live together before they get married, that way you usually know what little habits they might have…and you don’t mind dealing with.

Now most of these people did tell me that they had the experience of, “Love at First Site”…leading to dating then marriage. Now, a very large percent of those that told me “Love at First Site”…also told me that they have many issues with their relationships and that there is a strain on their marriage. Here are the causes of those strains, bad and annoying habits, different values and the intimate life. Those things could have been resolved or known if you had lived with the person. I totally understand that some religions do not allow a couple to live together before marriage…and I respect that…so…you need to make it a longer courtship/dating period…get to know the person well.

So the question is how long is long enough? I don’t claim to know the answer even with a poll taken…there is so many variables involved and you know…people answer what they wish, but most of the time they do something else. So I guess it all depends…as well as anything in life…everyone is different, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be happy.

My Perspective:
Ok…this is definitely my perspective/opinion…nothing more. I totally understand about religion and the importance to believe in something or someone higher; how I see it though is…the Pastor, Priest, Reverend are not going to live with your significant other. You go to church, temple or place of worship and pray, give homage to a higher being…they whom ever you are looking up to…is not going to live with your significant other. Yes your church, temple or place of worship can help you find a gentler side to you, help you through tough times, allow for inner peace, but once again…they will not live with your significant other. I am sure you can always ask your Priest, Pastor, or Reverend this question, does your God, higher being, or whom ever you look towards for answers or help…wish only happiness for you. The questions is happiness, you and the other person deserve it and I have to say…that living with that person for sometime…6 months to a tear…no more…will definitely help in your long term marriage.
From experience…I met my significant other…2-weeks later I asked her to marry me. I was nearly 30 and she was older…I felt the time to settling down was necessary, I had a good career, I was financially stable, I felt I was mentally ready for a relations and everything that came with it and 4-weeks after I had met her…we were married. The first year was an absolutely nightmare…for both of us. I have to say that before you marry…you need to be willing to take on anything that comes at you…you need to live with the person…believe things come out into the light when you are living together…oh yah they do…I have asked and I have been told. Live with the person for 6 months to a year…no more…if you are over 30…if you are under 30…maybe a little more time…another 6 months. Marriage is a monster commitment and you both need to be aware of what comes with it…its not holding hands, kissing, flowers, dinners…yah you should keep those, but marriage comes many more things, pooling of finances, there are 2 people that need to decide on something…not just you. And there are the questions of kids…that’s another big thing that many have a hard time dealing with, because if you have a child with someone that has an annoying habit that you just can’t deal with…that won’t only affect you, your significant other, but the child that was brought into the world. Think about it…how long should you date before getting married…live together first.

Thanks for reading and please leave a comment, opinion; I would love to read it…till next time.