10 Reasons Guys Aren't Approaching You
by Rich Santos, Marie Claire, on Fri Apr 23, 2010 4:01pm PDT

I was doing research on my never ending topic about relationships, marriage and well communication issues between couples. I so happen to come across this article, that I found interesting, since this is where we all begin...

by Rich Santos, Marie Claire,
Recently, at a wedding, I witnessed a dance floor with a friend who is an Ecologist. In the middle of this dance floor, a girl approached a guy, legs slightly spread, while slapping her thighs with the back of her hands while looking him in the eye.
You don't have to emulate an Animal Planet mating documentary to get a guy approach you when you're out, but body language is important. You have to give a guy an opening, and make yourself available.
I want my approach to appear to be well-timed, and I don't like it when I feel like I'm interrupting. Sometimes the situation lends itself to an approach: there's something extraordinary to talk about, or we just bump into each other. Pay attention to your actions when you're out. If you want guys to approach you, are you making it easy on them-are you available ?

Some girls might want the guy to work as part of the approach; but, for every one of you that make it tough for a guy to approach, there are women who make it easier to approach that a guy might go for instead.

Here are a few things women do, that prevent guys from approaching them:
1. You're Surrounded by Lots (I mean LOTS) of Friends
When girls are in a group, I know that I'm going to be evaluated as soon as I walk away. It's tough enough to walk up to one girl, let alone a group.

2. You're Too HotIf she's super hot, sometimes I assume I have no chance or I'm just plain intimidated. Most guys will give it the old college try though. This, by the way, is the best reason for your ego why guys aren't approaching: "I'm just so hot I'm intimidating."
3. Dancing On Tables (AKA Super Drunk Girl)One night, we were out and a girl intermittently stood up on the seat of her booth and did stripper-type dances. The guys in the bar looked, but never approached. It's tough to approach a whirling dervish and no one could take her seriously. And sometimes the "too drunk" girl gets approached by guys who are interested in one thing only.
4. Looking SloppyI don't usually approach girls who don't look stylish and put together. Now, if you want to keep guys away from you, doing the celeb in public homeless look might be a good strategy.
5. Looking Angry/Snobby
Smiling and eye contact is inviting, while anger, and looking like you're too good for everyone drives people away. Try to give off positive vibes, and more people will approach.
6. You're With Another Guy In Any Capacity
You appear to be taken if you arrive with guys, or meet guys while you're out. Guys have no way of knowing if you're with a guy. Some guys might ask, but some might just move on to someone who looks more available.
7. You have a Ring
Now I'll admit that I'm clueless, even for a guy. I'm not sure about the wedding ring/engagement rules: which hand/finger gets the ring? I know one has a big diamond, and one looks like a simple ring. But unmarried women wear all sorts of rings. Your ring that looks like a wedding ring might be keeping guys away (or maybe stupid guys like me, which is probably a good thing).
8. You seem BusyIt's easier to approach a girl who looks bored, like she wants someone to talk to. In a caf , if she's reading a book, or has her face in her laptop, I assume she's busy and doesn't want to deal with my stupid pick up attempt. In a bar, if she seems content doing whatever she's doing, I won't want to interrupt.
9. You're Literally Tough To Catch
I've devised strategic plans to make a move, waiting for a girl to go to the bar, or bathroom. But when she finally gets up she walks too fast, or takes bodyguards (tons of friends) with her. Bottom line, some women just don't give that opening physically for the approach. Remember, your migratory patterns might be exactly what that guy is waiting for, so be on the lookout when you're on the move.
10. You're a Wall Flower
If you're in the corner all night, or buried behind chairs and tables, you not only cut yourself off from the rest of the world, but some guys don't want to slalom obstacles to get to you. If you want guys to approach you, you might want to move or try out some other spots.
Rich asks if you agree with his list above? What actions do you think deter guys from approaching you? What actions make a guy tough to approach? Follow him on Twitter: twitter.com/richravens

My Perspective:
It all starts somewhere, and it begins with the simple hello or of course one of your great lines. But somewhere the communication was never established, so its like faulty wiring...it might work for a few years, but then the problems start surfacing. I always say, be yourself, don't pretend to be someone you can't be and why lie, don't...it will sooner orlater come to light...so don't lie. If the person you find hot likes you, they will like you for you...yah...ok it sounds corny, but you know...I am expereince and being around the block...i hear well and I observe and believe this is all true...you'll either agree or not and eventually find out it is. Guys, as hot as she maybe...just be casual, confident and yourself...ladies...the guy that came up to you...might be the one.

Thanks for reading, till next time Latino Man signing off.

Nothing to Talk About – Nothing in Common

This is something I probably already touched on, on one of my last posts, but I wanted to talk or share a bit more about this issue. This is a common issue, and it not only happens in marriages, but in normal dating couples as well. For some crazy reason after a couple has been together for a while, they run out of things to talk about. There conversations consist of maybe only the children if there are children involved or just arguing about the economy. You know, couples forget those great moments when you talked on the phone for hours, or just sat out in front of the house talking about everything; future, dreams, concerns aspiration…that all goes away after you have been together for a while…maybe those topics get old…or maybe they just don’t matter.

Why is it that couples lose interest in talking to one another? Why can they just sit down or pull up a chair out in the backyard and talk…maybe a glass of wine or a cold beer and talk…but you know…I bet you some of you tried and it just didn’t work out…I could see it. So can some one tell me why…after all that courtship, laughing, dreaming of that person, wearing little lingerie, playing games…why does that go away. And you know don’t tell me it has to do with you been tired or the kids could walk in anytime or you had a hard day at work…because you know…we are all grown ups here and let me tell you, if you were stranded on a desert island you’d do everything you could to stay alive…so come on…why does that go away? Why do couples loose interest in talking to one another?
I don’t understand it…it boggles my mind… cannot comprehend…I am lost…ok…so…someone help.

My Perspective:
People make excuses…simple. And I think that if you really care, love someone…that interest will never go away. I think most of the couples out there jump into relationships without any idea of what they are doing, or expect or you know what…they jump in before they even really TALK to one another and clear the air of what they want…wait…ok…so some do, but then they LIE, flat out lie and more than likely only say what you would want to hear…never thinking that they really don’t follow that road or value…they simple just want to get into your pants…and never think about what it reall means. So before you get into a relationship…sit down and talk….really talk about what you expect and want out of the relationship…and please do not lie…you’ll only end up getting hurt or hurting someone….it could mean 5, 10 or more years of your life…don’t do it. TALK, communicate and be honest…that I believe would help.

Thanks for reading; I hope to see some comments…Latino Man Signing off.

5 Tips For Outdoor Sex
By YourTango, on Tue Apr 20, 2010 1:00pm PDT

Ah, spring. Sweat, sunshine, Earth Day and jacket-less evenings of pasty limbs and exposed toes always makes us think of…outdoor sex! Here's a handy list to ensure the romp doesn't turn into a nasty public nudity ticket or unfortunate rash.

1. Be alert.
Getting frisky al fresco is all fine and dandy, but nothing turns a saucy romp in the grass from titillating to mortifying quicker then locking eyes with a small child and disapproving mother. Depending on where you're getting down and dirty, it would behoove you to be extra alert to your surroundings. If you're on a hike and decide to be one with nature, fine, but be extra paranoid about a rustle of leaves or serenade of breaking twigs. It's better to be safe (and unfinished) then sorry (with your pants down).

2. Dress appropriately.
Ladies: make it easy and wear a skirt or dress. And men, avoid belts or tight pants. If you want to go commando, even better. But select your outfit carefully and be prepared to disrobe, get busy and then get presentable fast.

3. Bring a blanket.
We learned the hard way to avoid getting sand tucked into certain crevices where it doesn't belong, so if you want sex on the beach bring a generous-sized blanket. Likewise, rocks, sticks, burrs and other parts of nature are prettier to look at than to grind on—trust us.

4. Otherwise, best to do it standing up.
If you have the stamina, standing up is probably the best position for knocking boots outdoors. The shrubbery always looks much more comfortable than it actually is.

5. Come prepared.
Outdoor sex is more about novelty than having the best sex ever, but you might as well up your pleasure quotient with a few easy tricks. Namely, bring lubrication. Getting it on outside is challenging enough without trying to navigate foreplay, so let lube works its magic instead (scentless—no need to attract bugs). Likewise, being one with nature is no excuse not to protect yourself. Bring condoms or your choice of contraceptive, and please take them with you when you're finished. Nothing ruins a good time like happening upon someone's used Trojan.

My Perspective:
Anywhere, anytime, just remember enjoy.
Thanks for reading, till next time Latino Man Signing Off.

The Best Sex Positions for Every Situation

The Best Sex Positions for Every Situation
By Sarah Joi

Got pain? Pregnancy wishes? Confidence issues in the sack? We have a position for all that! We spoke to top female sexual health experts to hear their recommendations about the best positions for the most common sexual health concerns. Get ready to meet your new favorite moves.

The Best Position for Baby-Making
While it’s true that you can get pregnant from all kinds of sexual positions, there is one that health experts frequently recommend as the way to increase your odds of becoming pregnant, and that’s the “missionary” position (male on top) with a “pelvic tilt,” says Amy Levine, a New York City–based sex coach, certified sexuality educator and founder of SexEdSolutions.com. “Putting a pillow under the tush can help elevate your pelvis, and create a slide effect—providing an easy path for his swimmers to make their way through your cervix on their journey to your ovum,” she says. “Typically, women who try this tend to maximize the ejaculation, since it stays in their body a little longer compared to positions in which you're upright, allowing the semen to drip out of the vagina.” And, don’t forget to orgasm, says Ava Cadell, a sex educator and founder of Loveology University in Los Angeles. “She is more likely to get pregnant if she climaxes,” she says.

The Best Position to Help Women Build Confidence in Bed
Maybe you feel insecure in the sack and could use a move that can help you feel more confident and in control? If so, Debby Herbenick, PhD, author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction, has a suggestion for you. Memorize these three words, she says: you on top. “It can be confidence-building because it physically helps women to be in control,” she says. “Make sure to do it your way, though. Woman on top can be done kneeling, squatting, facing forward or facing backward, so show off whatever you or he loves most about your body.”

The Best Position for Long-Lasting Sex
While premature ejaculation is a medical condition that your guy may need to seek treatment for, there are positional tricks you can try to help him increase his staying power. According to Levine, the missionary position (again, guy on top) may be the key to helping your partner last longer. “It can work for him if he has trouble going the distance,” she says. “The key is that he's in an easy position to stop and start when his arousal is increasing at a fast rate, and can take it down a notch so he can last longer.” Want to vary the missionary position a bit? Try this idea from Cadell. “The ‘fox’ position is a variation of missionary, in which the woman’s legs go all the way up and over her lover’s shoulders,” she says. “Penetration of the vagina is very deep in this position. She is contained in the boundaries of his body and he can dive totally inside her, maintaining his arousal and lasting longer.”

The Best Position for Women Who Experience Pain with Intercourse
There are often few quick fixes for intercourse-related pain; however, consider these two ideas that can help improve your intimate experiences. First, be sure to use lots of water-based lubricant, says Dr. Herbenick. Second, if pain is an issue, it’s important that you keep the reins, so to speak, in your hands. It’s why Dr. Herbenick, and other experts, recommend the woman-on-top position. “It gives the woman more control over taking sex at a pace that is comfortable for her.”

The Best Position If Your Guy Is Well-Endowed
Looking for more “oh”s than “ouch”s? Here’s your move: “The guy lies on his side; she lies perpendicular to him with legs spread as they rest over his body,” Dr. Herbenick explains. “This allows her to hold the base of his shaft if she wants to limit his range of motion, and allows her to use pelvic rocks to create an in-and-out sensation.” Levine says that women whose partners have “lengthy penises” love this position because “they can control how much of him will penetrate her, and can create pleasurable sensations for both without the cramping and discomfort that can happen when he hits her cervix during intense thrusting.”

The Best Position for Small Penises
Experts are quick to point out that penis size is a very minor part of a satisfying sex life, yet there are certain positions sex therapists recommend more often when a man has a smaller penis. The best? Woman on top, says Levine. But here’s the key: “You need to gyrate on him rather than move up and down, or else he's likely to slip out,” she says. “Missionary can also help, with your legs up on his shoulders. This allows him to penetrate you deeper, making the most of his size.”

Sarah Jio is the health and fitness blogger for Glamour.com. Visit her blog, Vitamin G.

My Perspective:
Sex, love making, intimacy, needs to be enjoyed to the fullest, don't hold back, let yourself go, experience everything about the moment, the person you are with...most importantly communicate and I promise that the expereince, what ever position you try...will be even more enjoyable.

Thanks for reading, till next time...Latino Man signing off.

Catching Someone in a Lie

You know, I am sure that this is an on going, common and most importantly on everyone’s crappy topic list, which is “Catching Someone in a lie”. How many of us have caught someone or possibly been caught in a lie, I am talking about an obvious lie…that pretty much puts you or them on the defense when they or you know have been caught.

You know we can confront the individual or probably get confronted ourselves, but what does that do…come think about it…what does it really do, except just blow out of proportion…into a major fight. The person that was lied to confronts the person that was lying, and then the liar denies it, and of course it leads to shouting back and forth, and then you end up in a totally different topic…it strays off into some other deep kept hurt issue that either of you did and well…I am sure we have all been there. You fight about some other topic loosing totally direction of the actual reason you were fighting…of course at the end of the yelling and you are both walking away…the last words thrown…are…”And don’t ever lie to me again”.

But really, what was resolved nothing…absolutely nothing, all that happens is now you or they have serious trust issues. You start wondering what else they have lied to you about, what else they are hiding…hmmm…do I believe them from now on. I mean the feelings that are generated through the confrontation are incredibly horrible, and yet nothing gets resolved. Only now, either you have broken up or simply don’t trust one another. Yah, ok so your wondering where I am getting at, that maybe it’s not wise to confront the liar…yah I am saying that…exactly…you know why…because you either end up forgiving the person or breaking it off. So why not be smart about it and skip all the hard ache in between and just do one or the other…break it off or simply forgive them. Forgive them you say…you are crazy Latino Man…yah I might be, but think about it…you are going to do either one or the other, you know it and I know it.

“Now, the thing is which one can you live with?”

Do you break it off and move on with your life, and really know that you will find someone who actually cares about you or are you willing to forgive the person and live with the doubts for the rest of both of your lives…because let me tell you…I know that most of us cannot really ever forgive someone that has lied to us or any other issue that causes distrust, unhappiness, or turmoil between the two…because we are human and that’s what’s we believe or think we believe should be. I seen it hundreds of time, it’s become the storyline for a lot of movies, the girl gets cheated on, the mans pleads that he is sorry and will never do it again, then she goes on to forgive him, so we think, but she always has doubts. When he stays later at work, maybe he really does have to work overtime or he got a flat tire and is at Discount tires getting it fixed…yah…she is wondering what he really is doing…we all know the story, yet we allow it whether we do it consciously or not. Like I said two thing will happen either you’ll move on or just live with it.

But you know, when most of us decide to live with it, you know what I mean, so called ‘forgive’ the person, we end up unhappy, unsure of ourselves or the significant other. And it’s not until it’s done to us enough times that maybe we finally open our eyes and say, “Enough”.

Yah…you know whom I am talking about…so why confront and be an adult and make the decision without all the fighting and head aches…yah I know your saying it’s easier said than done…yah…well it is…OK. You’re an adult, maybe not live enough, but all in case an adult or wait…why not listen to an adult and do either one without any fighting.

My Perspective:
Forgive the person, without confronting them and live wit it, but live as you really have forgiving them and not carry any doubts, uncertainties or issues. If they do it again, then as an adult or person who can ask for advice, move on or continue accepting the issue. If you decide to break it off, then do it with out confrontation, move on, make sure things are in proper order. Now, when I mean confrontation, I am not saying that you should not talk…communication is important, but DO NOT let it get into an argument.

Definition of Confrontation:

• a bold challenge
• discord resulting from a clash of ideas or opinions
• a hostile disagreement face-to-face
• the act of hostile groups opposing each other; "the government was not ready for a confrontation with the unions"; "the invaders encountered stiff opposition"
• a focused comparison; bringing together for a careful comparison

Confrontation is exactly that and argument…communication is what is done between two calm adults, that are in there right mind. If you need to allow sometime before you approach the other person, do so. Then calmly communicate your concern of what they did, if they begin a confrontation, defuse it quickly and ask that they come back when they are ready to talk/communicate. Arguing solves absolutely nothing…you know it and I know it. Remember what I said, 2 things will happen either you forgive the person or break it off…so why not avoid the argument and confrontation and make the decision yourself or try to communicate with the person. I am not saying to allow someone to lie, or make you unhappy, what I am saying is…you know that only 2 things can and will happen…either you’ll break it off or remain with the person…the arguing does nothing except bring up past, current issues between the two of you and if that is the case then you and them need to move on.

Thanks for reading, until next time Latino Man signing off.

Who is Nicer…a Step Mom or a Step Dad?

"…Ma…Pa…I’m hungry…I’m bored…are we almost there yet”

Now, as parent we sometimes forget how much work it really is to raise kids…I mean maybe not forget, but ever so often we get into those moments where we just want to pull out our hair. But, of course those great moments always out-weigh the bad ones or do they.

Now, as parents we build tolerances and we adjust to our kids every whim and cry, but is it because we have that connection with our child, I mean, what about a step father or step mother…do they have that same tolerance with kids that are from other marriages?

Actually that’s my topic for today, “who is nicer a step mom or step dad”. I did some research through out our wonderful internet and I was totally amazed at what I read, found regarding this topic. I mean, go ahead and do some research…I am sure you’ll be surprised at what you find. Now, during my search, I found that about 75% of the articles, discussions, blogs, etc. leaned towards the Step father being nicer. Yah…sort of weird I guess, well at least for me it is, because I always heard or understood of the ‘Motherly’ intuition or the ‘Mother – Child” bond being stronger than anything we know, so…when it comes to a step mother, why would it be different?

Now, I would not be able to put in my experience personally, I only grew up with my mother…but I do recall friends and some of the things they talked about, when there was ever a step mother or father involved. Now, most of the time I heard more about the step father, since kids usually end up with their mom and the mom most of the time re-married…and let me tell you…most of the steps fathers, that I heard about, were pretty darn mean. So, when I did my research I was surprised to find what I did.

I do recall one friend, actually I couldn’t forget…you see a close friend of mine in high school, lost his mom in a car accident, the father re-married and actually remarried to a very young wife. Let me tell you, she was HOT…ok…hey even my friend thought so…yah it was his mom…or step mom, but still she was hot…but besides that she was totally cool…seriously. Any time anything happen at home that my friend would cause, she would take the blame, if my friend stayed out late she would sooth my friends father and always said to him, :Come on honey, were you a teenage once”. Yah she was totally cool, so once again I was surprised to read so much about a step mom being the meaner of the two.

My Perspective:
I think that a motherly instinct is always on, whether it’s her child or not. Now, ok, we do here stories about mom’s gone bananas…but of course life always has its bad apples. Anyhow, I think a mom or step mom would for the most part always look after the welfare of a child, it’s part of being a women. So, if anyone of you has a story to share, please do…I would like to hear from you.

Thanks for reading, till next time, Latino Man signing off.

Size of His Wallet = Size of her Orgasm

Ok, I seriously could not resist this topic, I am so amazed that everyday you hear and see something new…and sometimes it is so funny or not. Well, anyhow, I wanted to share this topic and see what you think. You know that old saying that, “Size Does Matters”, when it comes to intimacy, well, the “Size Does Matter” has gone to a whole new level and well…direction.

This is how it goes, size matters but in regards to the size of the man’s wallet, ok…it seems that the bigger the man’s wallet the better and bigger the women’s orgasms…interesting huh. Now, we all know that money and economy are the biggest culprits when it comes to dissolved marriages. Couples fight about money. Straight and simple. The thing is that when that happens women stress, not that the man doesn’t right, well it seems that women stress and when this happens they really don’t want to have any intimacy and if they do, mostly not by choice, they either fake an orgasms, 90% of the women do this or they simply do not enjoy it. Now, if a man can provide, a house, car, spending money (spending money seems to be the key here) and the woman not work then the women will have better and bigger orgasms…huh.

Now here is an interesting part, every woman that commented on the subject…totally agreed…ok. They said, of course if I did not have to work, but also had money to spend as I please, of course I would rock my hubbies world. Now, several men…actually most of the men with the exception of one…and I’ll get to him; stated that they are the sole providers and provided plenty of spending money for the wives candi4es; the thing is that when the man got home, if they did not have a maid, the house would be a mess, there was no food and the women either has a headache or had a busy day with the kids, if kids were involved. The women that had maids always had a great excuse as why they did not feel like having sex. Now, the one man that stated this was true, was a business owner…he said that it was totally true, he had been married before for 10 years, got divorced and afterwards made himself a name with his own business, well he met a younger women, about 20 years younger…he met her through his business, well, they dated briefly, married, she doesn’t work, she drives a nice car and has spending money. Now they do not have kids, he does from his first marriage, so when he gets home she has the house clean, food ready and of course the evenings are, what was that word he used?, “Incredible”. Now sure if it is the age difference, the money or the fact that they do not have kids.

The thing is, that I personally know of a guy, who works his own business, his wife does not work, they have three kids and well, they are as happy as can be. She maintains the house clean, takes care of the kids, drives a nice car, has money to spend and still has dinner ready for him, and actually waits to eat with him…he gets home a bit late. She puts the kids to bed while he showers or relaxes and then the evenings are well...he didn’t say…but he gets it 3-4 times a week…so that seems to work. I guess it just a matter of individuality, each person is different…of course right…the thing is finding that right person that fits in your or each other’s life style…some women prefer to work, have careers, other’s are great home makers…and yet others well they fall through the cracks…I don’t know.

I forgot to mention that all the men except one, totally said they were not that big in the men’s department, the one that said he did was the one with the younger wife, she actually confirmed…so maybe that was another plus on his side. So was it the size of the wallet and manly hood…or was it just the size of the wallet that left these men high and dry. You tell me, ladies is it the size of the wallet that counts?

My Perspective:
I think that it all depends on the couple, whom you are with. You see each of us is different, you might have two people that love to work and have careers, you might have a woman high in the corporate ladder that would rather have her husband stay at home, or of course the traditional marriage of the man being the provider and the women staying at home. The thing is, you need determine what you want out of life, do you, as a woman, want to be a home maker, take care of the home, kids and husband. Do you as a woman want to have a career and share in the duties of the family…I mean you as a woman need to find what makes you happy, so other’s are happy. First comes you, then everyone else, now that’s not being selfish, it’s the plain truth. I think it is very hard to find that exact person you can spend the rest of your life with; we all have corky things about us. So, simply finding Mr. or Mrs. Right isn’t as easy as 1-2-3. People need to determine what they really want out of life and then see if they find someone with the same plan…even if it takes a while, I think if you take your time and look and really get to know the person…it would save a lot of marriages. I know it’s hard to find the right person and when you do, they aren’t the person you fell in love with, maybe they lied, or possibly they change their plan, but all we can do is do not rush into a marriage, do not rush into having kids, take the time to know each other and what you want out of life, then everything else will fall nicely into place…I know it sounds to good to be true, but that is my perspective.

Till next time, Listen to soft sensual music, thanks for reading Latino Man signing off.

I’m I Really That Bad?

Ok this is an interesting topic…men…liquor and a man’s responsibility. Ok, I am not supporting drinking or the possible affects it may have on the body or a relationship…I know the damage it can do to the body and a relationship, but my opinion is, if we drink responsibly and do it in a controlled environment and understand that over indulging can lead to disasters events, then there is no reason why someone, men or women cannot enjoy drinks to relax, or just to help get away, if not just for a few hours, from reality, from all the stress, economically, relationship related or anything else that may weigh down on our lives… for a moment. Yes I understand that troubles, stress or issues in life will still be there after we sober up, but getting away, just for a moment - there is nothing wrong with that.

Ok, also, I don’t support anyone drinking and driving…yes…ok…I hear it all the time since I was a kid to now my adult age; friends, co-workers, family, even well known Lawyers and myself included…sometimes have a drink or two and drive…unfortunately that is something we can not control…there will always be someone out there doing what they should not be doing; whether it is stealing, fraud, hacking, drinking and driving, there will always be individuals doing things that we normally do not agree to, but like I said I don’t support any illegal actions related to drinking. Hopefully I made that clear, but also people make mistakes so we have a little of everything in life. So on to my topic, actually it’s a beef I have.
Let’s start from the beginning and build from there; I won’t make it long, but to the point. You are in a relationship, whether you are just starting off or in it for 20 years…ok. I am going to pick on the men for this topic, because to be honest it relates to me…nothing to hide.

I met someone late in my life. I wasn’t ever married and had no kids. I had an established career and I felt I was ready to settle down and start a family. Like most couples, the first attraction was physical, she was not extra skinny or model looking…ok…she was voluptuous and had one particular characteristic, she had no children. Ok, I am not saying I wouldn’t have dated someone with kids, because most of my previous relationships, the women had children. Anyhow, we met; we dated briefly about 2 weeks, to be exact, and got married; Crazy.

Let me get to the topic part of this. So, this is me in a nut shell…well I’ll try and then you let me know if I am bad. I have been in my career nearly 20 years, I make descent money, I work for someone, I run a website business, not anything to write home about, but it pays for its own marketing, I am a Real Estate agent and I am a Notary. As you can see I work hard, or at least I seriously try.

My family lives in a 4 bedroom home, in a very nice neighborhood…I mean you can leave your wallet out on the dang sidewalk and no one will take it or they will knock on neighbors doors trying to fine the owner. We own a nice family car; I own a vehicle as well…so two car family…common I know. We have a Made that comes each week to clean the house. You don’t have to worry about the Kids playing outside and at night it’s as peaceful as can be. One of my kids goes to a very good school, we have a teacher that comes to our home to teach my son piano, my son plays hockey, and at the birthday parties we have magicians, fire trucks and well, things that you normally don’t see at kid’s birthdays. I am not trying to brag, just trying to paint the picture. We have a good life, of course we are struggling just like many families, but we work hard each day to make it through. I work extra hard not for recognition but to provide the things I would like my family to have and most importantly I am working hard now so we will have something for retirement later…seriously…I really do not want to work in my 60’s, that’s my goal. Now, I enjoy drinking, and I mostly do so on Fridays and Saturdays; ever so often I might drink once maybe twice during the week. Now, the drinking doesn’t start until the kids are sleeping, which is 8:00pm. And I normally drink maybe 5 or 6 drinks; let me tell you my pleasure. I drink Presidente, which is a brandy and can be purchased at a local store on sale for 5.99…sometimes they have a larger bottle on sale for 11.99, which is the only time I purchase the liquor. I mixed my branding with Squirt, I usually purchase on sales 3-12 packets for 9.99…total of 36 cans. I can make 2 drinks with each can. This is what I do, I get a 12 ounce or maybe 14 ounce glass, I fill it up half way with ice, I then pour 1 ½ shots of Presidente in to the glass and pour half the can of squirt into the glass, that’s where I can make 2 drinks with one can of squirt. I usually go through 4 cans of squirt equaling 6 drinks…now most of the time I leave ½ of can of squirt. This is all done after 8pm Fridays and Saturdays and maybe once or twice during the week…seldom.

Now, let me go back to my day before the drinking begins. Monday through Friday I work 7-4, I sometimes show houses during the week, after my normal job or maybe I need to work a Loan. Every so often I might get a Notary job, in either case I keep busy. I get home and I either cook dinner, maybe 30% of the time but I BBQ during the summer all the time, but I definitely clean up afterwards whether I cook or not. While she is cooking I am either helping my son with his homework, which is all the time, or entertaining the kids, my son or my baby daughter, by playing games. I change diapers, prepare bottles, while she cooks. Once dinner is served I feed the baby 50% of the time while I eat, after dinner I clean up, by either helping to pick up the house, vacuuming, pick up toys, etc. I then prepare my son for a bath, which I do. I get him ready with PJ’s and prepare his evening snack, while preparing the evening bottle for my daughter. I read to my son, I send him of to brush his teeth while I put my daughter down to sleep, with a little singing and rocking…It takes about 10-15 minutes. I then get my son to bed, wish him a good night and turning off the lights. I then walk around the house, locking doors, closing windows if it is cold, and making sure the kitchen is clean. Kids asleep, house is settled, I then turn on my computer and begin going through my daily emails for Real Estate, Loans, Notary etc. at that point I prepare my first drink, I sit down at the computer and begin working once again. Take it this is only on the week days, on the weekends, I have to work around the house, cut grass, clean out weeds, sweep, etc.

So I ask you, am I a bad person, with a problem? Do I not deserve to indulge on Fridays and Saturdays without getting yelled at or scrutinized? Can I not relax, whether I do it with basket weaving or drinking? I do it responsibly, and in moderation. I mean I get no attention from my significant other anyways, no support, not even a simply conversation about today’s activities…nothing…nothing…I don’t drunkenly grab at her to have sex…I don’t drunkenly act badly by yelling insulting, abusing mentally or physically…I just sip my drink and sit at my computer and work…the time at the computer is related to trying to make money for the family, for luxury items, college and most importantly retirement. So I ask, am I bad, do I not share in the responsibilities of the household…I mean I get to go shopping for clothing every 2 years and it is always at a discount store or at huge sales…are you serious. I am far from complaining. I don’t mind giving every thing I have…the shirt on back…my life…but if the biggest issue anyone could have with me is me drinking two days out of the week, while still doing all the duties, and more, that are required of a father and husband…and yet I get scold at, scrutinize, talk down to…for drinking 2 days out of the week…am I a bad person?

I heard a comment on this subject not long ago, a lady said that her husband was a great husband, great provider, always made sure there was food, a way of transportation, a roof over their head, helped around the house, cooked, cleaned, did laundry…did most of everything but always had a glass of whiskey every night…you know what she said…I’ll pour him the drink, because he has never failed me or my kids.

My Perspective:

As long as the man provides for the family, progresses in his life, helps in all aspects of a family unit, participates and does not act badly, erratically or is abusive to any of the family members or anyone else for that matter…then drinking in a responsible matter should not be frowned upon and no one should make that man feel that he is worth-less.

Thanks for reading. I am looking forward to your emails and comments…and don’t worry, you won’t offend me. Latino Man signing off, till next time.

Honey, “Do These Jeans Make Me Look Fat?”

The ever dreading question, we get as men possibly many times in our lives; it has become a comical skeet on TV, on stage and between friends and yet there never seems to be a right answer or is there. The other day I was surfing the net and happen to come across this topic, but it had evolved into something more, almost like having an explanation to that dreaded question. You see in the post, there was the question, “Do These Jeans Make Me Look Fat?”, now the interesting thing here was that the comments, most of them, were from women and they were actually explaining why they ask the question, now I am only summarizing the answers/comment, but you’ll either agree as a woman or be amazed as a man, we’ll see.

Anyhow, so the comments explained that women have certain areas of their bodies that they do not like, but that most men absolutely like, now let me clear this up. OK, one of the comments tells of a women that does not like to have a big butt…ok, they would rather fit into a size 0 or 1, like most of those models we see in magazines or on modeling runways. The thing is that most men, prefer a nice big, soft rump…we men do not enjoy smacking that rear end and hitting bone…ok. Now women don’t see that or understand that of men. The lady goes one talking about how she would love to go shopping and be able to buy anything of the rack in the stores, that she is always having difficulty finding something that fits her, so that is why they, women, prefer to be as thin as possible, like a zero or one. That was her comment. Now another lady comments about having a little too much on the top, now I understand that if not taken care of properly, the extra weight on the op can sometimes cause some pain, if they do exercise, or vigorous work. Now, I am not a women, but I read and see and listen, there are millions of women out that are “D” size or larger and have being able to locate proper support when doing those extra vigorous activities, don’t quote me on that, but I have had both large and small breasted girlfriends and never heard of one that was large complain. So anyhow, back to the interesting topic, now these comments I found to be more like an explanation to that old question of “Do these jeans make my butt look big”.

How I see it, there are 2 things lacking here, one is a lack of communication between man and women, my opinion…men like them big…ok…that’s the plain truth…and I don’t think there is one man out there doesn’t agree with me…come on… am sure a man would rather see a voluptuous women in a lingerie, than an anorexic women in a lingerie. Maybe men need to work on the way they deliver their words so as not to offend and so as to make them selves clear. The second thing that I see boils down to clothing…being able to buy anything on the racks and not have to struggle in finding something that fits, I think is plain crazy…ok…I am not a women, but come on…I thought women liked shopping. Shopping takes time. Why in the world would you just want to run up into the Mall and just buy what ever fits you that you found on the rack, ok with the understanding that you like it, but seriously does that make sense? I don’t know, but going through those comments it really seems those were the two things that most women explained, wanting to be a size 0 or 1 and being able to buy what ever is in the store and not having to struggle in finding something that fits.

So, I am asking, ladies, for your opinion is this true? Would you prefer not to struggle while shopping and do you want to be a size 0 or 1 and why?

Through out the years, I have met a guys and we would chat, what guy doesn’t, and we would talk about a certain film Star that was hot, like remember Nicole Kidman back in the days she was nicely filed in, now a days she looks like a skeleton and men have commented that, that she looks awful; remember Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct…oh yah…people remember, now look at her, thin. I’m taking into consideration the age…ok…and that has nothing to do with it. Guys sit back and talk about women, yah sometimes we can be childish, but I recall the talks and I don’t remember one conversation about someone’s girlfriend or wife or significant other gaining weight or, so and so is fat…or that, WOW look at that size zero women….come one, guys don’t know the difference between size 0 and size 5…we just see big or small…and we tend to go to the bigger spectrum, we like meat on them bones.

So once again I ask, ladies, for your opinion is this true? Would you prefer not to struggle while shopping and do you want to be a size 0 or 1? Or do you have a different point of view or comment.

My Perspective:

Ladies, we men love the way you look, straight and simple…we love anything you wear and you look good to us. Remember, the guy you are with is with you for some reason and I am pretty sure it not completely related to your looks; yes…you probably looked hot when he saw you and yah maybe he was attracted to some part of your body, butt, breasts, legs, eyes, smile…but he is still with you because you gave him so much more. Something to think about...you both were attracted possibly physically, but once you talked…the click was there…communication is a major factor…I always say this, communication is extremely important in any kind of relationship…any kind.

Thanks for reading…Latino Man signing off.