Catching Someone in a Lie

You know, I am sure that this is an on going, common and most importantly on everyone’s crappy topic list, which is “Catching Someone in a lie”. How many of us have caught someone or possibly been caught in a lie, I am talking about an obvious lie…that pretty much puts you or them on the defense when they or you know have been caught.

You know we can confront the individual or probably get confronted ourselves, but what does that do…come think about it…what does it really do, except just blow out of proportion…into a major fight. The person that was lied to confronts the person that was lying, and then the liar denies it, and of course it leads to shouting back and forth, and then you end up in a totally different topic…it strays off into some other deep kept hurt issue that either of you did and well…I am sure we have all been there. You fight about some other topic loosing totally direction of the actual reason you were fighting…of course at the end of the yelling and you are both walking away…the last words thrown…are…”And don’t ever lie to me again”.

But really, what was resolved nothing…absolutely nothing, all that happens is now you or they have serious trust issues. You start wondering what else they have lied to you about, what else they are hiding…hmmm…do I believe them from now on. I mean the feelings that are generated through the confrontation are incredibly horrible, and yet nothing gets resolved. Only now, either you have broken up or simply don’t trust one another. Yah, ok so your wondering where I am getting at, that maybe it’s not wise to confront the liar…yah I am saying that…exactly…you know why…because you either end up forgiving the person or breaking it off. So why not be smart about it and skip all the hard ache in between and just do one or the other…break it off or simply forgive them. Forgive them you say…you are crazy Latino Man…yah I might be, but think about it…you are going to do either one or the other, you know it and I know it.

“Now, the thing is which one can you live with?”

Do you break it off and move on with your life, and really know that you will find someone who actually cares about you or are you willing to forgive the person and live with the doubts for the rest of both of your lives…because let me tell you…I know that most of us cannot really ever forgive someone that has lied to us or any other issue that causes distrust, unhappiness, or turmoil between the two…because we are human and that’s what’s we believe or think we believe should be. I seen it hundreds of time, it’s become the storyline for a lot of movies, the girl gets cheated on, the mans pleads that he is sorry and will never do it again, then she goes on to forgive him, so we think, but she always has doubts. When he stays later at work, maybe he really does have to work overtime or he got a flat tire and is at Discount tires getting it fixed…yah…she is wondering what he really is doing…we all know the story, yet we allow it whether we do it consciously or not. Like I said two thing will happen either you’ll move on or just live with it.

But you know, when most of us decide to live with it, you know what I mean, so called ‘forgive’ the person, we end up unhappy, unsure of ourselves or the significant other. And it’s not until it’s done to us enough times that maybe we finally open our eyes and say, “Enough”.

Yah…you know whom I am talking about…so why confront and be an adult and make the decision without all the fighting and head aches…yah I know your saying it’s easier said than done…yah…well it is…OK. You’re an adult, maybe not live enough, but all in case an adult or wait…why not listen to an adult and do either one without any fighting.

My Perspective:
Forgive the person, without confronting them and live wit it, but live as you really have forgiving them and not carry any doubts, uncertainties or issues. If they do it again, then as an adult or person who can ask for advice, move on or continue accepting the issue. If you decide to break it off, then do it with out confrontation, move on, make sure things are in proper order. Now, when I mean confrontation, I am not saying that you should not talk…communication is important, but DO NOT let it get into an argument.

Definition of Confrontation:

• a bold challenge
• discord resulting from a clash of ideas or opinions
• a hostile disagreement face-to-face
• the act of hostile groups opposing each other; "the government was not ready for a confrontation with the unions"; "the invaders encountered stiff opposition"
• a focused comparison; bringing together for a careful comparison

Confrontation is exactly that and argument…communication is what is done between two calm adults, that are in there right mind. If you need to allow sometime before you approach the other person, do so. Then calmly communicate your concern of what they did, if they begin a confrontation, defuse it quickly and ask that they come back when they are ready to talk/communicate. Arguing solves absolutely nothing…you know it and I know it. Remember what I said, 2 things will happen either you forgive the person or break it off…so why not avoid the argument and confrontation and make the decision yourself or try to communicate with the person. I am not saying to allow someone to lie, or make you unhappy, what I am saying is…you know that only 2 things can and will happen…either you’ll break it off or remain with the person…the arguing does nothing except bring up past, current issues between the two of you and if that is the case then you and them need to move on.

Thanks for reading, until next time Latino Man signing off.