by Rich Santos, Marie Claire, on Fri Apr 23, 2010 4:01pm PDT
I was doing research on my never ending topic about relationships, marriage and well communication issues between couples. I so happen to come across this article, that I found interesting, since this is where we all begin...
by Rich Santos, Marie Claire,
Recently, at a wedding, I witnessed a dance floor with a friend who is an Ecologist. In the middle of this dance floor, a girl approached a guy, legs slightly spread, while slapping her thighs with the back of her hands while looking him in the eye.
You don't have to emulate an Animal Planet mating documentary to get a guy approach you when you're out, but body language is important. You have to give a guy an opening, and make yourself available.
I want my approach to appear to be well-timed, and I don't like it when I feel like I'm interrupting. Sometimes the situation lends itself to an approach: there's something extraordinary to talk about, or we just bump into each other. Pay attention to your actions when you're out. If you want guys to approach you, are you making it easy on them-are you available ?
Some girls might want the guy to work as part of the approach; but, for every one of you that make it tough for a guy to approach, there are women who make it easier to approach that a guy might go for instead.
Here are a few things women do, that prevent guys from approaching them:
1. You're Surrounded by Lots (I mean LOTS) of Friends
When girls are in a group, I know that I'm going to be evaluated as soon as I walk away. It's tough enough to walk up to one girl, let alone a group.
2. You're Too HotIf she's super hot, sometimes I assume I have no chance or I'm just plain intimidated. Most guys will give it the old college try though. This, by the way, is the best reason for your ego why guys aren't approaching: "I'm just so hot I'm intimidating."
3. Dancing On Tables (AKA Super Drunk Girl)One night, we were out and a girl intermittently stood up on the seat of her booth and did stripper-type dances. The guys in the bar looked, but never approached. It's tough to approach a whirling dervish and no one could take her seriously. And sometimes the "too drunk" girl gets approached by guys who are interested in one thing only.
4. Looking SloppyI don't usually approach girls who don't look stylish and put together. Now, if you want to keep guys away from you, doing the celeb in public homeless look might be a good strategy.
5. Looking Angry/Snobby
Smiling and eye contact is inviting, while anger, and looking like you're too good for everyone drives people away. Try to give off positive vibes, and more people will approach.
6. You're With Another Guy In Any Capacity
You appear to be taken if you arrive with guys, or meet guys while you're out. Guys have no way of knowing if you're with a guy. Some guys might ask, but some might just move on to someone who looks more available.
7. You have a Ring
Now I'll admit that I'm clueless, even for a guy. I'm not sure about the wedding ring/engagement rules: which hand/finger gets the ring? I know one has a big diamond, and one looks like a simple ring. But unmarried women wear all sorts of rings. Your ring that looks like a wedding ring might be keeping guys away (or maybe stupid guys like me, which is probably a good thing).
8. You seem BusyIt's easier to approach a girl who looks bored, like she wants someone to talk to. In a caf , if she's reading a book, or has her face in her laptop, I assume she's busy and doesn't want to deal with my stupid pick up attempt. In a bar, if she seems content doing whatever she's doing, I won't want to interrupt.
9. You're Literally Tough To Catch
I've devised strategic plans to make a move, waiting for a girl to go to the bar, or bathroom. But when she finally gets up she walks too fast, or takes bodyguards (tons of friends) with her. Bottom line, some women just don't give that opening physically for the approach. Remember, your migratory patterns might be exactly what that guy is waiting for, so be on the lookout when you're on the move.
10. You're a Wall Flower
If you're in the corner all night, or buried behind chairs and tables, you not only cut yourself off from the rest of the world, but some guys don't want to slalom obstacles to get to you. If you want guys to approach you, you might want to move or try out some other spots.
Rich asks if you agree with his list above? What actions do you think deter guys from approaching you? What actions make a guy tough to approach? Follow him on Twitter: twitter.com/richravens
It all starts somewhere, and it begins with the simple hello or of course one of your great lines. But somewhere the communication was never established, so its like faulty wiring...it might work for a few years, but then the problems start surfacing. I always say, be yourself, don't pretend to be someone you can't be and why lie, don't...it will sooner orlater come to light...so don't lie. If the person you find hot likes you, they will like you for you...yah...ok it sounds corny, but you know...I am expereince and being around the block...i hear well and I observe and believe this is all true...you'll either agree or not and eventually find out it is. Guys, as hot as she maybe...just be casual, confident and yourself...ladies...the guy that came up to you...might be the one.
Thanks for reading, till next time Latino Man signing off.
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