A Latinos Blog

Picking Your Battles

You know I guess this topic isn’t anything new, I am sure it’s been posted and even talked about in conversations. But, I realized the other day that after several occurrences or crazy things that have happened over the past several month have build up to one final incident…bringing to realize that dam…there are some things in life, well in our everyday life that we simply cannot change; And it isn’t one of those things where people say, “I am stuck between a rock and a hard place”, because it isn’t that at all.

I could seriously start from the beginning, but that would go as far back as nearly 3 years ago and it would seriously be a lot of repeat content, but mostly things that I am sure others are going through…anyhow. My thing is after a discussion with my someone I had…it all hit me like a brick. Now, I think it was all those little things that were building up and I just was ignoring…well…all it took was one more thing and BAM, it all came tumbling down at once. And you know this is something that we do with pretty much everything in our lives…I think we see and hear those little nagging things and we simply ignore them hoping they will go away, but eventually, maybe a week later or maybe 10 years later…it all hits you at once.

The thing is why, is it that we as humans prefer to go through all these things and not listen to our parents….I mean I am sure there are parents out there that want to teach their kids about things…and what to avoid and so on…but they simply don’t listen and well…struggle through life. It isn’t after they get married, have kids and live a while…that they realized that, “Dam why didn’t I listen to my parents?” I don’t get it, but it will never change…it is a part of our evolutions, our cycle of life...and it seems it can’t be broken…now there might e a few that get out and move ahead, write books, become famous and yet even with that…kids never listen.

So, back to my case, or issue or reason for this post, you see. Like any parent we try to teach our kids, we try and explain, provide the tools for them to become better people. Of course with that, comes some yelling, some grounding, or taking away of privileges or other things, but I come to realize that it simply doesn’t work…nothing does. You yell, you ask, you ground and they might do it for a day or might listen to you for that one time…that someone offers them a cigarette or alcohol…but then they simply break down…of course with the help of their peers…those kids that you wished your kids never met...but they do. And in the meantime…your blood pressure, your cholesterol your health begins to dwindle away…and your golden years become the “Black” years…nothing really to look forward to except health issues, money issues and more than likely relationship issues.

So, after getting hit with this HUGE reality check, since I was told that by a realistic person…a person that doesn’t dream, because dreams don’t pay the bills or buy $500 dollar shoes…opps…sorry…but after that reality check…my body felt as if a weight was lifted…I didn’t care anymore…now wait…I care about my children, their education, their well being and most importantly that they are successful, but I can’t force something onto any one, adult or child something they simply don’t want, but I can show them the good things that will come with hard work, getting an education, keeping healthy…as compared to not doing any of those things…you can show them. The thing is then you begin to pick the battles, the things that have a very good chance to be changed.

Such as having your child keep their room clean…nope, don’t bother, don’t get upset, but every once in a while ask them to clean their room in a firm voice…that’s all…but if 90% of the time their room is dirty…so be it. Your friend, sister-n-law, or whom ever…has issues with men or women, but you know it is them with the problem…you can’t change them, don’t get upset, yes you love them but is your health really something you can put in front of those with problems they simply don’t want to change…you can’t change them, but you can simply listen…but don’t worry…something you simply can’t change…let it go.

You have people that are dreamers and are always looking for that opportunity to get financial secured, you might know someone, but just because you believe or think that things are impossible, doesn’t mean that it cannot be accomplished and if that individuals is a dreamer…so be it…why in the world would you want o have health issues or get upset or anything if you can’t change them…yah you love them and you don’t want them to blow their inheritance, but you can listen and provide some advice…but don’t get upset, let it go.

If you actually sit down at a table and layout all the things that bring stress, anger, or other negative feelings…you will see that most of them are simply things you cannot change and if you approach them as though they are what they are and don’t let them get to you…you will be able to reduce the list or things to a few things that then you can concentrate on working them out.

The thing sis, that we are all aware of this old saying, but it is so true when you think about it, “Pick Your Battles”. And you will see a better you….which is what is important here…”YOU”, because if you think about it, how many people count on you and if anything happens to you…how many people will it affect…they need you around…so my suggestion here is…get some alone time, write out all the things that make you tense, angry, stressed and so one and begin choosing those that you simply cannot change, they are not life threatening and cross it off. Before you know it, the list will be manageable and “Your” health will be yours.

I am probably preaching…but with such a hit to my self-worth or self…I thought heck let me share.

My Perspective:
If you have dreams, keep them alive…but of course make sure you research what you want to do before going in head-over-heals…and loose your shirt. It’s ok to take some advice from others, but if they become negative remarks, ask them kindly to with-hold their comments…if they care about you…they will understand, but no one and I mean no one should bring down your dreams, you aspirations…or whatever you personally feel is important to you. Believe me you will have many, many reality checks through out your life…and some will be small and some will be HUGE, life changing…just remember with everything that is going on around us…don’t take on the little things in life…believe me, you will eventually understand why I am saying that, but why not take the advice now so you don’t wreck your health now…only saying.

I know, we all want to learn on our own, we want to be first time parents, first time this and that, but if you had someone that went through the same thing or path…come on there is nothing wrong with just listening to the advice they might have…something out of it might feel right and work for you…but never allow someone to put you down on your dreams…if they don’t like them then don’t share it with them…there are others that will more than likely feel enthusiastic about them as much as you…but always research…always research before jumping into anything.

Thanks for reading, till next time Latino Man signing off.