Is it Wrong?

Welcome to another posting, I really appreciate you coming back…ok…so here is an interesting topic or better said an interesting question.

“Is it wrong to go through your mates phone or is it even worse to ask them and then they say no?"

I ran into a friend while getting coffee a cafeteria and we started chatting. I asked him how his girlfriend was doing and he sort of gave me a blank look and told me that they were no longer together. I told him I was sorry to hear that and what had happen, if he didn’t mind me asking about it. He started by saying that cell phone suck…of they don’t, but from his comment that their breakup had to do something with the cell phone. So, he told what had happen.

Let me start from the beginning, they had been dating for about a month and before they got together my friend had a lot of girl-friends, plutonic only.
Well, not that I am on his side, but the guy was totally into this girl…and believe me when I say that he isn’t a player…he might be a good looking guy…but he couldn’t be a player even if he tried…anyhow, so…I am not going to make this long. This friend of mine has had the same phone and number for 10 years…yah…it’s a pretty ugly phone, but he likes and it works for him. Anyhow, so he has had this phone for a long time and this guy is a really cool guy…easy to get along with…and he has a lot of friends. The thing is, even the ladies…enjoy talking to him and he still as friends that he new from his previous job of 5 years…they just happen to always keep in touch and they like asking him for his opinion. So his cell phone is full of people…both woman and men. Anyhow, he met his girlfriend at a party put on between two mutual friends and they hit it off, he really liked her and it seems she liked him so they started dating and eventually ended up hooking up. Now, during the dating time…she (the girlfriend) had met a lot of his friends, both woman and men…you know while going out to parties, get gatherings, things like that. Now, it seemed like everything was going ok, they both agreed on renting an apartment together and moving in. So they went ahead and signed a 1-year lease and started living together. Around the 2 month of them living together it seems she was starting to become a bit confined,…better said she began to close up…to him. She wouldn’t want to go out as much, always told him to go ahead with out her and on most occasions he wouldn’t go and stayed with her watching movies. He didn’t think of it much, you know her modes, actions, the way she was acting…he just sort off went with it.

It seems that several weeks had past just after the sudden change where she started asking him who he was talking to on the phone every time it would ring. Of course he would tell her it was Julia, or Bret, or whomever he was talking to. The thing is that one day, when the phone did ring she pick up his cell phone and saw a name of a woman she did not recognize, now remember they had only been dating and living together for about 2 months, and she totally freaked out, so she started looking through his phone book. He happened to be in the shower and when he came out she was on him like a tiger. She started asking him who was Joan and then she started going down the list of women on his phone cell of women she did not know. So, he started to want to explain, but she just got more angry and before he could get in a word, she had stomped out of the house and weird thing is she never came back…even for her things. Any how my friend was totally taken by this and could not believe what had happen.

My friend was a bit worried because they had just signed a lease and he could pay the monthly rent, but he did find a roommate and they removed her from the lease, he eventually was able to get a hold of one of her friends and give back her belongings…now you got to hear this. On his way to his ex-girlfriend house, his mom happened to be along for the ride simply because he was dropping her off some where. Well, he got to the place and sure enough his Ex was there…she looked at him and asked him who was that in the car…his new girlfriend…well…he looked at her and said…that’s Joan…my mother. He said the expression on her face was one to send into “Americas Funniest Videos” and win the grand price. He turned around and walked away. Now, as we were talking, his phone rings and sure enough it was his ex-girlfriend…he didn’t pickup, but he just looked at me and said, “You know I don’t understand why she had to go through my phone, it's my personal space, I never hid anything from her and never gave her a reason to ever doubt me, but going through my phone was totally uncalled for and the worst part of it was, she never let me explain anyone of her accusations…so why…he asked”.

My Perspective:
I believe that a relationship is built on trust and communication and without these two things a relationship will not work. I personally don’t think someone should go through some else’s phone, wallet or personal items. If you feel they maybe cheating on you, because that’s the main reason anyone would look through someone else’s things, then ask them…talk. If you still don’t get the satisfaction and you don’t believe them…then there is no trust and no real communication and you need to move on. Why would you waste you life trying to catch someone in a lie…if you have doubts...it won’t work. Believe me…there is someone out there that will truly be the one where you can be happy, live without doubt and just love. So, no I don’t think it's right for someone to go through some ones cell phone; if there is no trust…there is no need.

Thanks for reading, I look forward to your responses and until next time.