'Manopause' Hits Middle-Aged Men
Increase in Testosterone via Injections or Gels Could Help Problem

While men may not suffer hot flashes like women who experience menopause, middle-aged men's bodies do undergo major changes -- including hormonal ones.

Male menopause, or, as doctors call it, andro pause, is similar to the hormonal drop that most women experience as they grow older, but more gradual.  (ABCNEWS.com)

At age 50, John Upton said he hit midlife and hit rock bottom. Upton, a documentary filmmaker and father of four, was newly-divorced and feeling more lost than ever. "It's like you are looking at yourself, and you don't recognize the person that you are seeing," Upton said. He began searching for a way out of his rut -- a downward spiral he said left him depressed, overweight and hopeless. "Some people my age say, 'Well, I'm just going to age gracefully,'" he said. "Obesity, depression, lethargy [and] despair are not graceful qualities in my book." He learned what he was going through was not a fleeting midlife crisis, but a very real medical condition.

Doctors call it andro pause. It's similar to the hormonal drop that most women experience as they grow older, but more gradual. Men lose about one percent of their testosterone every year, beginning at age 30. Unlike female menopause, which usually runs its course in a matter of years, so-called "male menopause," can last decades. "What I was seeing was hundreds and hundreds of relationships falling apart at midlife, just when the couples could really be enjoying their lives," Jed Diamond, author of "Male Menopause," said. "The depression that accompanies these kinds of changes can kill men at early ages that don't need to die." Doctors say millions of American men suffer the symptoms of andro pause without even knowing what it is.

Symptoms like fatigue, depression, anger, anxiety, memory loss, relationship problems, loss of sex drive and erectile dysfunction are common and often written off as a normal sign of aging. Upton's doctors recommended testosterone injections, but mandated that his hormone and blood pressure levels be tested regularly. The shots, he says, gave him a new lease on life "I will take the next 10 years as I am, because the way I was in those old pictures, I don't, I wouldn't want to live another 30 years like that," he said.

While prescriptions for testosterone products like injections and gels have tripled in the last few years, they're not for everyone. "We know that prostate cancer grows in the presence of testosterone," the UCLA Urology Program's Dr. Christopher Saigal said. "When you remove it, the testosterone from the body, the prostate cancer goes away." But you won't hear any complaints from Upton. Today he's remarried and his new wife Elizabeth Upton reports her husband acts like a man 20 years younger -- even in the bedroom.

Men suffering from the symptoms of male menopause should go their doctors and have them test for active testosterone, which is the kind that can cause symptoms if your numbers are low. Some physicians only measure total testosterone, which may not give the full picture.

My Perspective:
It;s hard to say what it could be, yo think as a man that you married a women because she was the one...not only because she was the going to be the mother of your children but because she was going to satisfy you in every way, but it turns out not to be the case and you run or turn somewhere else , I don't consent  to thta but why does SEX or making LOVE go down the tubes afer being married. The guy ends up worring if she could satisfy her or bring her to orgasm...but he notices that he cannot anymore...so from that point on he can't get it hard because all he thinks about is trying to make her HAPPY...and then he losses his hardness and the night BLOWS.

I still think that comunication is the key here, but now-a-days individuals don't bother. Well thanks for reading till next time Latino Man signing off.

New Blog Name – Same Latino Man

So here I am again, I am sure many of you might have noticed my new Blog name, I felt that it had a negative ring to it, so I wanted to actually keep it more in line with who I am…a Latino, and of course I’ll continue to share my thoughts, ideas, short stories and anything else I may be inclined to share. I think reading blogs is a little safer that the Twitter, Face Book and other large social networks sites, only saying…not stating that these places are bad, just that well…you know...you’ve heard what has happened and of course it’s also my opinion to any facts.
Anyhow, so I wanted to change the sound of my blog, but nothing else will change. So let me cover a topic or discussion on something I feel is important. Over the years as I was growing up, you grow up hearing or believing or getting taught certain social do’s and don’ts. And one such thing is the whole concept of a Man or Woman that happens to stare, in a kind way, at the opposite sex, because they are either extremely indulges, beautiful, curvy, muscular, or what ever might have caused him or her to look at that other person. Of course as kids we are taught not to stare, it is not nice. But seriously, if you think about, we stare at many other things, and yah take it they maybe be not human but the concept to me is the same.

So let’s say, you are having dinner and a waiter walks by with something that smells good, as a reaction we have a tendency to follow the smell and hope to get a glimpse of the dish. Of course you are staring and the individuals that gets the dish feels your look, you smile and they may say…this is a wonderful dish…you then think…hmm…maybe I should give it a try. Now, as a guy, we have a tendency to stare at cars, whether old or new, if there is something about it that we like, we will stare. Obviously the person that owns the car, either feels the stare and smiles, and you give a thumbs up or if its in a drive way, the owner might come out and spark a conversation about the car…nothing wrong…right. Now, women…and I speak by experience; have a tendency to stare at clothing or other articles of clothing that maybe worn by other women. Now,  some women that are being stared at have an issue and maybe walk away briskly, may snap at you or you could kindly say, “Nice Dress”, what happens next is probably a light conversation of the material and where she might have purchased it…nothing wrong…right. So you could probably think of countless scenarios of such things when people stare, and most of the time is properly done; really only state that you like what you see…and nothing else comes about from it.
Now, let's use another example, “People”. Men and Women since probably the beginning of time have a tendency to look at one another as you stroll by each, because of some peculiar feature they may have. Now, some people or possibly most individuals will get insulted and either thinks something is wrong with the person staring or you maybe a pervert of some sort. Now, I see it as a total compliment, you see if I had a girlfriend and people stared at her because she was beautiful, in either having a well plump breast, nice rear or long beautiful legs, I wouldn’t mind, why…because at the time of the incident the person staring simply was attracted by something he or she, yah I said she, like about my girlfriend. And it wouldn’t bother me at all. Now, if a guy happens to walk by and was tall, dark, well built, nice chest, beautiful eye or even a nice rump and my girlfriend or significant other stared…hey…that is totally natural, why, because we are humans and we all like nice things…so it wouldn’t bother me at all. Now, if I or any man for that mater, happen to see a women walk by and stared,  you know in a kind way, to me that woman should feel complimented; now here comes a clarification to that last statement…and I only say these from my experience. Young women are more easily offended by a guy staring…but older women actually welcome the stare…why is that…it should be ok for all women, young and old to not be offended by a staring man or women…it should come to them  as a compliment and acknowledgement that you are attracted in some way…a good thing.
Now, the only problem I say with “Staring” is if you are actively involved with someone, and you acted on your staring…that could lead to an issue. You see…I think staring is ok, healthy and should be treated as only that, a stare and a compliment. But if you, or your significant other acted on the stare, with a flirt, smile, wave and then into a little more than…juts a hello…then of course that is where the problem is…then it leads to a totally different topic…”Cheating”.

But for now, lets stick to Staring, If you stare, your significant other stares or maybe you are being stared at…don’t worry or let it bother you…take it as a compliment and acknowledgement that you or that person is simply attracting our senses…and nice things and nice to look at.
My Perspective:If someone stares at you or your significant other stares at someone else…don’t worry…don’t let it bring down your world, because in the long run…the stare is simply as I said…an acknowledgement that you have or they have a particular feature that simply is – Eye Pleasing – . I think you should start worrying when no ones pays attention to you…even if you flaunt it…and no ones stares…that’s when you worry.
Thanks for reading, till next time keep it simple, don’t worry about all the little things and accept that stare as a compliment.

Bad Relationships -

So, I have a pet peeve…I guess and I wanted to get it out, maybe someone is going through this or maybe someone will realize that any information or thoughts mentioned herein…will help someone out. Anyhow, ok so my thing is relationships…ok. I probably touch on this topic a lot and maybe sometimes it may sound like a broken record…yap…yap…yap. Ok, so you may say, but you know I’m not alone and with today’s Twitter, Face Book, MySpace and the hundreds of Social networks…people now can get their thoughts out into the masses. The only thing that stinks is that you will always have some hacker out there trying to break into these sites, and run havoc on people…why…probably because they can…who knows, but any how, back to relationships.
I recently wrote an entry related to my sister-n-law and her situation on her marriage and it has stuck to me. I mean I can’t get it out of my mind why in the world anyone would want to go back to that kind of life. Now, I will not recap the story, please feel free to read the entry in its entirety posted on September 22, 2010. Anyhow, so, the thing is why are there men and women out there, since probably the beginning of time accepting this. When I was a kid, I heard the same stories, as I grew up and was involved in relationships I heard the same stories, of abusive boyfriends, girlfriends, etc. As I got older and out of high school things didn’t get any better…they were the same, whether you lived in the hood or in the Hamptons…it was the same story. Now that I am older, I think, why if we are incredible creatures that can adapt to almost every environment, have landed on the moon, have gone deep into the water, climbed incredible mountains, built incredible structures…science…technology…so why with everything we are capable of doing to we continue to fall into those kinds of relationships…why do they exist?

Seriously…I have had heard every and all the excuses you can imagine…from you don’t now what my life is about to…I love him or her and everything in between and outside and beyond, but what makes it still in existence….why do we fall prey to those kinds of situations. But that’s the ½ of it…what gets to me is that there are actually good people out there really wanting to work at a relationship, that will make it as though they just first met…every day will be like the first time they met…love, laughter, communication and well…come one…that great stuff you both turned over in bed and said WOW…that was amazing…can I get seconds. I mean making love isn’t just about screwing, its about the feeling you have when you caress the person, or kiss their neck and pass your hands over they body; it’s the kissing, the playful smile, the closeness you feel all over when you are butt naked and close to one another. The sensation is one that you both always remembered, but some how lost…with the kids and careers. I mean relationships…everyone talks about it being a job, that you both have to work at it to make it work…a JOB…are you serious, that should be the last thing it should be. It should be something that is as natural as flowing water. There should be no work involved…you should be excited in seeing your partner inn life…everyday you should wake up with a smile, not only because you are alive…but that someone is right next to you…sharing your happiness, your dreams and you.

I mean when did it begin to bother you or him that you gained some pounds or got a little hairier or crows’ feet started appearing…or even your boobs sagging…or his balls sagging…when did that become a problem. Don’t you remember the long showers you took together…come on did you really have time to expect your partner…NO…you were to busy enticed with the softness of her body or the strength of his chest and arms…the kissing the sound of the water pouring out…it never bothered you before…so why now.

People get married because they found a partner, someone that makes them complete…yah I said complete…you know why…because if there were only men or women on this planet…believe me…sooner or later there would be extinction…and no I am not talking about gays or lesbians…I am talking about two creatures that when together create life, not only children…but life together…if you know what I mean. That’s why people get married, it’s the bond, the feeling of accomplishment, the feeling of being scared of what the future will hold for both of you…you both share in that dream, that feeling…that’s why you become complete. I don’t believe that people bring in another human being solely to follow in all the badness that is around us…we have off springs because it is a reflection of the love you both have and that child will not only feel the love of the parents but is there to learn to be a BETTER person, contributor to society, to your family tree…you want people to get better…not worse. Yah we all have are ups and downs and everyone can come to me with an excuse…but you know…that’s exactly what they are excuses…because deep inside every one of us…we love the feel of freedom, happiness and love. That’[s what we are meant to do…that’s what we should do and do it.

I don’t know…I see this happening all around me, and sometimes I see my relationship and wonder what happen…I don’t want a job…we should solely be together…happy…as one…work is left outside not in a relationship…it shouldn’t take work.

My Perspective:
I am saddened by the things I hear, and see. Why such beautiful people revert back to living a hell of a life…and the excuses and comments from those that tell me I don’t have a clue…well…I do…and I just think they don’t. So, please step back from an abusive relationship and seriously think about yourself and what you really want…I can tell you this much….it will have happiness somewhere in there.

Thanks for reading Latino Man Signing Off.

 

Friends with Benefits - Your "Get out of monogamy free" card?
By: Kate McGovern

Of all the pop culture representations of “friends with benefits,” Monica and Chandler might have made it look the easiest. On “Friends,” those two hopped into bed after years of platonic buddy-hood, briefly kept it casual, and then lived happily ever after. Research shows that this is unlikely in real life—off-screen, only about 10% of friends with benefits (FWB) turn into lasting romances. And anyway, since sex-with-no-commitment is what appeals to a majority of FWB participants, the Monica/Chandler resolution might be more nightmare than dream come true. For undergraduates and twenty-somethings, habitually strapped for time and money, the absence of dating as a prerequisite to sex sounds ideal. Sure enough, the friends with benefits relationship has become ubiquitous, especially on college campuses—but when it comes to sleeping with a pal, the morning after is rarely as straightforward as the night before.

If you haven’t done it yourself, you probably know someone who has. The odds a college student has ever had a friend with benefits are 1 in 2, with men more likely than women to report such arrangements. Among male undergraduates, the odds are 1 in 1.57 (about 64%), while for women, the number is 1 in 1.99. The rationale behind acquiring friends with benefits is rather unsurprising. Melissa Bisson and Timothy Levine, who conducted a study of FWB relationships at Michigan State, found that sexual involvement with a friend was viewed as safe and convenient. There’s also the comfort factor: many young people prefer to have sex with a person they know and trust, rather than that cute stranger at the bar. So an FWB situation is a happy medium between an actual romantic commitment and a casual hook up.

Isn’t it? Possibly not, says sex educator Yvonne K. Fulbright. Fulbright argues that a big problem with friends with benefits is that communication within the friendship itself breaks down. Bisson and Levine, too, found that about half of all FWB participants at Michigan State reported uncertainty about the relationship, and a majority of these said that those concerns were not addressed.

There is also the risk of one person developing more intense feelings for the other—the omnipresent threat of “wanting more.” Popular wisdom suggests that this is the biggest pitfall of friends with benefits, and indeed, about 81% of the respondents in the Michigan State study cited the development of romantic feelings as a key disadvantage.

Someone might get jealous, too. Even though there’s no official commitment, it can be hard to see the person you’re sleeping with flirting with someone else. The odds an undergraduate describes him- or herself as a jealous person are 1 in 1.79 (about 56%), and a large-scale study published in the College Student Journal found that students who described themselves as jealous were more likely to have friends with benefits than those who did not. While this might seem contradictory, perhaps it reflects a tendency for jealousy-inclined young people to avoid the challenges of committed relationships—or maybe the FWB precedes the jealous feelings, with the peculiar dynamic of a sexually involved friendship drawing out the green-eyed monster.

Either way, the research (and common sense) suggests that the friends with benefits scenario has its own risks. In the end, one in four FWB relationships ends with both the friendship and the sex broken off, and a third call off the sex—presumably when things get complicated—but manage to salvage the friendship. So sure, you can buy a t-shirt promoting friends with benefits, or find rules of the game online, but once you’ve hopped into bed with a friend, getting out can be much more challenging.

My Perspective:
I'm a bit scared to send my kids off to college...geez. I could say more, but I best keep my comments to myself...by the way...where canI get a shirt like that...LOL.

Thanks for reading, till next time Latino Man signing off.

7 Secrets to a Sexy Marriage
by Reader's Digest Magazine, on Mon Apr 19, 2010 6:33am PDT By Sarì Harrar and Rita DeMaria, Ph.D., Adapted from The 7 Stages of Marriage

How to get the love you want.

Every marriage has its bumps, and they can pop up at any time. What's important is that you learn to navigate them smoothly -- before they send your relationship into a ditch.

No matter how far along the marriage highway you've gone, there are some simple, fundamental rules of the road. Putting them into practice isn't always easy, but it's critical. If you do play by the rules, you'll make your marriage stronger, and the good stuff -- fun, sex, trust, affection -- will be better than ever.

1. Build up your love balance. Boredom, frustration and everyday irritations can douse the spark between you and your spouse -- and more of the same certainly won't feed the flame. Making the good stuff your top priority will. Here's how to do it:

First, consider that it takes up to 20 positive statements to outweigh the harm done by one negative one -- or by a steely squint or impatient "humph." So do more of the former, less of the latter. Compliment your wife on her new shoes, or your husband on his new blue shirt. Thank him for helping around the house. Dial her office for a quick "thinking of you" check-in (don't discuss household chores or bad report cards).

Be sure these compliments and thank-yous are heartfelt and specific: "I can always count on you to make sure my car is safe and ready to use." "This new tablecloth is nice -- you're always thinking of ways to make our home pleasant." Make eye contact when you smile or deliver a compliment. Try a little joyful noise (a happy sigh, say) when giving a loving touch.
Once you take this approach, you'll realize that, in addition to knowing how to push Mr. or Mrs. Right's hot buttons, you know how to push his or her joy buttons too (and we don't just mean sex). After all, that's how this whole thing started. It won't be long before you appreciate that it's always the right time for small acts of love. Give him a "glad to see you" hug and kiss when you get home. Surprise her with coffee in bed on a rainy Sunday (then stay to talk). Revel in the best qualities; let faults slide. Flash your "I'm so happy we're here together" smile as you schlep the recycling bin to the curb. Resolve to enjoy a long kiss before you turn in each night. You do little things for your kids. Why not for your spouse?

2. Reach out. Human touch aids the release of feel-good endorphins, for giver and receiver. So link arms as you walk into the grocery store. Brush her cheek with your fingertips when you smooch good morning. Revive the ways you touched in the early days -- a kiss on the back of the ear, a hand through her hair. Touch is a complex language. It pays to improve your vocabulary.

Adding more of this kind of touch will help you build a fortress of love. That's important, because a couple who form a tight unit can weather any storm (and are better able to stave off infidelity). How do you build this bond? First, support your soul mate. Take his or her side whenever possible if trouble arises in the "outside world." Keep your spouse's secrets to yourself, even when everyone at work spills theirs. Except in a true emergency, don't let anything interrupt "us" time. That's what voice mail and bedroom-door locks are for.

Speaking of "us" time: Make a commitment to spend up to 30 minutes a day chatting with each other about everyday plans, goals and, yes, dreams. One rule: no household-management or "what about our relationship" talk. This is time to build a friendship. Studies show that being friends pays off over time, ensuring a closer, sexier union. And don't forget to make time for intimacy, even if you must log it in your day planner. Schedule sex? Absolutely, if necessary. Spontaneity is great, but if either of you hungers for affection or physical love, don't wait for that special moment.

Another thing you shouldn't wait for: chances to celebrate success. Super Bowl victors. World Series champs. Gold-medal skiers. They all have one thing in common: When they win, they party. And even small victories deserve recognition. If your marriage is humming along, that alone is worth celebrating. Dine out where you proposed. Or book a midwinter-deal trip to Paris. You've earned it.

3. Remember -- nobody's perfect. It's tempting to blame your spouse when you feel angry, disappointed, bored, betrayed or stressed out about your marriage. Then it's a short hop to seeing your mate as the one who must change for the marriage to improve.

That's a cop-out. Trying to improve your spouse puts him or her on the defensive and casts you in a dreary role. The result? Nobody changes. Nobody takes responsibility. Everyone is unhappy. And making your spouse the bad guy means ignoring the 90 percent of him or her that's good.
The true fix: Change yourself. When you address your own flaws and seek the best in your spouse, magic happens. Optimism increases. Your spouse feels better because he or she feels appreciated, not chastised. And you both feel motivated to change in ways that lead to even more joy.

One tip to help get you thinking this way: Adopt the Japanese philosophy of imperfection, wabi sabi ("wah-bee sah-bee"), which applies well to real-life love. Next time your guy or gal does something annoying, take a breath, mutter "wabi sabi" and remind yourself that his or her intentions are good, even if the execution isn't. At the same time, don't ignore what's good in your spouse. Each day this month, pick something, big or small, that you like about him or her. Then name it. For example: "My wife is thoughtful" or "My husband makes me laugh." Then think of a specific act that backs it up: "She brushed the snow off my windshield last week." "If I'm feeling blue, he'll joke me out of it."

Finally, honor your own imperfections. Sometimes we blame ourselves for all that's off kilter in our marriage. Too much guilt can paralyze. So, think of qualities you value, tell yourself you have them and think up real-world examples. "I am loving and kind -- I gave my spouse the last cookie yesterday." "I am honest -- I tell her what I'm really thinking."

4. Add some zing. The classic advice experts give to singles seeking a perfect match: Be "the one" to attract "the one." Same goes in marriage. The happier you feel, the happier your marriage will be, and the easier it will be to manage conflicts. If 15 minutes of morning yoga, a switch to decaf, or a new hobby gives you a relaxed zing, the good feelings can't help but lead to happier, richer moments together.

Meanwhile, admit it: You used to fuss over your hair and obsess over the sexiest item to wear to bed. Now, it's stained sweats and a ratty Rolling Stones T-shirt. Time to spruce up your look. Comb that mane, brush those teeth and throw on a new robe. Feeling good about the way you look makes your eyes sparkle. You're more likely to make eye contact. That sends a spark to your spouse. You know what to do next!

5. Always fight fair. Conflict is a normal, even healthy, part of any marriage. What's important is how you handle it. In a Florida study of longtime couples, joint problem-solving ability was cited as a key factor for 70 percent of satisfied pairs; just 33 percent of unsatisfied couples had mastered this skill. With the right tools and attitude, conflict becomes a gateway to deeper intimacy -- the chance to be seen and loved for who you truly are, to accept your mate's adorable, vulnerable real self, and to build a strong union without caving in or silently seething.
First, steer clear of criticism, confrontation and hostility. They're like gas on a fire. University of California researchers who followed 79 couples for more than a decade found that early divorcers fought long and loud and were always on the attack -- or the defensive. Happy couples, on the other hand, avoid verbalizing critical thoughts, keep discussions from escalating, and don't use absolutes like "never" and "always."

If a fight does start, try to change the subject, inject gentle humor, empathize or show your spouse extra appreciation. Too late? Call a truce, walk away and cool off for a while.

6. Pick the right time and place. Don't start potentially tough talks if you're not well rested and well fed. Hunger and fatigue can unleash nasty remarks and dark thoughts. Ban booze for the same reason. Save it for when you've achieved detente. That's worth a toast.

Don't ever try to deal with serious marital issues if you've got one eye on something else. Turn off the TV, the phone, the laptop. Close the catalog.

If you're distracted or going out the door, pick another time to talk. You can't resolve conflicts on the fly.

Remember, too, that how you handle these situations doesn't just affect you. Is the conversation G-rated? Will it end happily? If not, stop and reschedule for when the kids aren't around. When they are, keep things respectful and productive. Research shows that children thrive (and absorb good relationship skills) when parents resolve issues constructively, but develop insecurities and behavior problems when exposed to hopeless shoutfests.

7. Open your ears. The single most powerful step you can take to keep a marriage solid? Speak less and listen more. Blame, insults, criticism and bullying predict a bad end, or at least a living hell. When talk turns combative, don't interrupt, offer a solution or defend yourself too soon. When feelings are at issue, they need to be heard. So nod, rephrase or provide a soft "um-hum" to show you honor the emotions behind the words. Sometimes, all we really need to do to feel closer to someone is pay closer attention to what it is that they're saying.

My Perspective:
Oh Yah, we can read hundreds of these articles, tips, suggestions, or stories, but the truth in the matter is that if both people in the relationship do not attempt to work together through anything, then having one person trying and trying will eventually get old and tiring. I am only saying, that these tips sound fantastic, but both of you need to follow through. In all relationships, the most importnt ingridient is "Communication", plain and simple. So, if this articles helps you or at least provides some ideas, i wish you the best, if not, then you both need to talk, and if that doesn;t work, then you both need to move on...yah...yah...children maybe involved, but honestly happy parents are better parents.

Till next time, thanks for reading...Latino Man signing off.

Adding Spice to Your Marriage Sans The Extra Marital "Spice"
by Kevin, 13 hours ago

Variety helps a relationship move forward and helps keep it interesting. A woman can add variety to a relationship through various means. She should also be aware of the various ways to turn on the man. Find some useful tips here.

It’s a fact that men are more prone to boredom than women. This fact could spell disaster in the bedroom if a woman is not careful. If they can give a man variety in a relationship, there is nothing like it. Women could start off, by learning about the man’s anatomy and how to go about stimulating its various parts to stimulate him to a state of arousal. Don’t think that a man’s anatomy is only about his penis. It’s much more than that. By knowing these parts, doesn’t mean reading about them. Knowing, in this case is about knowing how to caress, lick and kiss in the right places.

Couples, relationship and boredom
A relationship needs its share of spice to keep afloat. If there is no spice, the relationship becomes monotonous. A couple can soon become bored of such a relationship and boredom is the silent killer of a relationship. A small amount of boredom is acceptable as one can’t bring variety in a relationship all the time. If a couple does not find the relationship interesting enough, they see no point in going forward with it. The trick is to keep adding a bit of interest quotient now and then. Both the man, as well as, the woman in the relationship, are responsible for it and should try making it exciting by adding some fun now and then to the proceedings.

Variety - Why is it needed?
Variety is the spice of life. This is true for a relationship, as well. Variety is an important facet of relationship. Variety could come in many forms and can also be a part of your sexual activity. A woman should know how to turn her man on, and use this knowledge to spice up the relationship. All good things come in small packages, so should variety in sex. Much as it is important to know the turn ons for a man, it is even more important to know the turn offs. If a woman adds variety, there is no doubt that the man will come to appreciate her better and will never want to let go of her. Variety can be regarded as the foundation of a healthy and a successful relationship. It’s the fuel that propels the relationship ahead.

Tip 1: The role of a caring mother
One way of adding variety is by adopting the role of nurturing mother. You must assume the role of somebody who actually cares for him and wants him to be happy at all times. Take care of him when he is sick, make sure that he is well taken care of, and be there when he needs you. Being a mother is all about being confident of your role as a woman in his life. Men find this kind of confidence sexy.

Tip 2: The little girl
The little girl needs her daddy! Make him feel wanted and needed. Most men need to feel like a hero and your little girl approach will make him feel like the most important person of your life. You can also get naughty at times, especially in the bedroom. Of course, using the little girl approach doesn’t mean letting go of all the responsibilities, but it’s about having some fun with your man. Say he likes baseball; hang out with him when he is watching the game. The little girl needs to take interest in her man’s hobbies.

Tip 3: The seductive lover
Every man loves a seductive lover; somebody who is uninhibited and knows just how to arouse and satisfy him. She can heat things up for him and give him some unforgettable sexual experiences. By not being inhibited, it will give you an opportunity to try new thing together with your partner. It could include role playing, enacting your most private fantasies, giving the man quickies and of course, oral sex.

Turn on your man - Tips
It doesn’t take much to turn on the man. But this doesn’t mean that you don’t make an effort turn him on. Here are a few pointers that can help you turn him on:

• Through communication. You need to be able to tell him what you need and what he wants
• Initiate a sexual adventure. Identify some exciting locations for having sex surprise him by seducing him, when he least expects it
• Men will definitely be turned on by a woman masturbating for him
• Sexy apparel, especially lingerie is a surefire turn on for a man
• Initiate an erotic conversation with him. If he likes talking dirty, talk dirty for him

It’s a process
Infusing variety in a relationship is a process. It’s not necessary that a man will appreciate it the first time that you try it. He might or might not like it. Patience is the key here, as a bit of trial and error will help you get the perfect mix of variety.

My erspective:
I enjoy writing, I do it all day long at work, well maybe not this exciting, but I do. Now, as I think about my topics i also do quite a bit of research and see what other's think about it, and believe me when I say there is a lot of people out there thinking the same way I do. So I find these articles and think to myself, self, why not share these since they represent a bit of what I think. Now, I do not want to change them, common courtesy, so I need to give my perspective at the end and cover the areas I think hit closes to me.

Anyhow, I might sound like a broken record, but I am always on the whole subject of communication, but you know, I thought that this article hit an area I honestly believe needs to be kept up in any relationship. Need to keep the "Spice", need to keep it interesting. Yah some of us loose interest, but you know, if you just open up your mind and allow your self to let loose and imagine the things that would turn you on, then do it; I am sure that your love one will be more than happy to oblige. Now, keep it within reason and before doing anything crazy, make sure you BOTH talk about it before adventuring out and doing it, OK. Surprises are fun, but if one really doesn't like it, then it more than likely will flop, so keep those open lines of communication between the two of you.

Thanks for reading, till next time Latino Man signing off.

How Soon is Too Soon to Have Sex?
Editor by Liz Brody, Shine Staff, on Wed Apr 14, 2010 4:29pm PDT

"Benefits" used to mean life insurance and 401Ks. Now it means sex.

And, yes, Friends With Benefits is so much more fun than actuaries. But here's the question: If he's a friend, and you're, the benefit—or visa versa, or either way—will it go anywhere? I guess what I mean is, if you like him, will you ruin things by being just a benefit rather than the investment? When Elaine tried it back in the Seinfeld days with Jerry, the whole thing was a big nada, nada, nada.

Anthony Paik, PhD, a sociologist at the University of Iowa, set out to answer that question in his new study. Using 1995 data on 783 adults ages 18 to 60, Paik found that one out of five had gotten together with their most recent partner via friends-with-benefits or hook-up sex. He also found that these weren't particularly faithful couplings. "For women, if you start with casual sex, there's a 44 percent higher chance you'll end up in a non-exclusive relationship in comparison to those who start out in a serious relationship," says Paik. By that he means that you'll have multiple lovers; your partner is even more likely (48 percent) to cat around. Jumping into bed within the first week of meeting a guy similarly predicted a non-monogamous future.

Mind you, this is data from 1995. Today, supposedly, FWBs and hookups are even more rampant. And if drive-through sex is not the best route to the altar, as Paik's study suggests, you can just see the writing on the spreadsheet.... husbands going the way of pay phones, Father Knows Best returns as The Orgy Bunch, the whole, sad, "demise of dating," as one New York Times op-ed put it...

"I don't agree."
Hello? That's Helen Fisher, PhD, on the line. One of the best-known love scientists around (and a biological anthropologist at Rutgers), she's written five books on the subject, the last of which is called Why Him? Why Her?

So why, then, doesn't she agree?

THE WHOLE HOOKUP HYSTERIA: It's ridiculous, Fisher sighs. First of all, people have been hooking up for millions of years as a way of starting long-term relationships. "I'm doing a research project myself now with a graduate student at SUNY, Binghamton," she says, "and he has asked 551 college students why they initiated a hookup. Half of the women and 52 percent of the men said they went into it hoping to trigger a longer relationship. And one third of them succeeded."

THE ONE NIGHT STAND: Fisher explains that any kind of sexual stimulation drives up dopamine in the brain. And dopamine is associated with feelings of romantic love. On top of that, orgasm releases hormones that cause attachment. And then there's the learning curve, or curves as the case may be: "You learn a HUGE amount about somebody when you to sleep with him—just a kiss activates 5 of the 12 cranial nerves," she says referring to the senses. "You see his body, feel his rhythms, discover whether he cares enough for you to listen to your needs."

AN IMPORTANT ASIDE: Condoms, ladies.

BACK TO COURTSHIP: "Basically," Fisher says, "there are two ways to get the boy. Either you bed him right away and try to jump-start these brain systems for romantic love and attachment. Or you spend you spend a lot of time getting to know him and hope you can trigger those systems in other ways; then sleep with him. Each one works."

BOTTOM LINE: As a scientist and girlfriend, what does she suggest? "I've tried both," she tells me, laughing, pointing out that in a FWB situation one partner is probably wishing it will turn into something. "You really have to go with your gut. But personally, I think it's wise to wait a few dates. Get to know him a little. Make sure he won't just dump you. And make sure you actually like him. Something happens in the brain when you sleep with someone. Having sex is playing with fire. You could fall in love."

My Perspective:
This is interesting, you see I could definitely give you my opinion and it may sound exactly like a "Guy", but you know, I think if you are two adults, that understand each other completely, are smart, and keep the communication lines open, mutual encounters aren't so bad, because in the end, if the communication is there, then the sex will only be the icing on the cake, and come on...how many of you out there honestly can't say that once you reach orgasm with that someone...it doesn't feel out of this world. I am only saying, it may not be right, it feels right, but as along as the communication is there...there is nothing wrong as far as I could see.

Latino Man signing off, till next time...thanks for reading till next time.

5 Tips For Outdoor Sex
By YourTango, on Tue Apr 20, 2010 1:00pm PDT

Ah, spring. Sweat, sunshine, Earth Day and jacket-less evenings of pasty limbs and exposed toes always makes us think of…outdoor sex! Here's a handy list to ensure the romp doesn't turn into a nasty public nudity ticket or unfortunate rash.

1. Be alert.
Getting frisky al fresco is all fine and dandy, but nothing turns a saucy romp in the grass from titillating to mortifying quicker then locking eyes with a small child and disapproving mother. Depending on where you're getting down and dirty, it would behoove you to be extra alert to your surroundings. If you're on a hike and decide to be one with nature, fine, but be extra paranoid about a rustle of leaves or serenade of breaking twigs. It's better to be safe (and unfinished) then sorry (with your pants down).

2. Dress appropriately.
Ladies: make it easy and wear a skirt or dress. And men, avoid belts or tight pants. If you want to go commando, even better. But select your outfit carefully and be prepared to disrobe, get busy and then get presentable fast.

3. Bring a blanket.
We learned the hard way to avoid getting sand tucked into certain crevices where it doesn't belong, so if you want sex on the beach bring a generous-sized blanket. Likewise, rocks, sticks, burrs and other parts of nature are prettier to look at than to grind on—trust us.

4. Otherwise, best to do it standing up.
If you have the stamina, standing up is probably the best position for knocking boots outdoors. The shrubbery always looks much more comfortable than it actually is.

5. Come prepared.
Outdoor sex is more about novelty than having the best sex ever, but you might as well up your pleasure quotient with a few easy tricks. Namely, bring lubrication. Getting it on outside is challenging enough without trying to navigate foreplay, so let lube works its magic instead (scentless—no need to attract bugs). Likewise, being one with nature is no excuse not to protect yourself. Bring condoms or your choice of contraceptive, and please take them with you when you're finished. Nothing ruins a good time like happening upon someone's used Trojan.

My Perspective:
Anywhere, anytime, just remember enjoy.
Thanks for reading, till next time Latino Man Signing Off.

The Best Sex Positions for Every Situation

The Best Sex Positions for Every Situation
By Sarah Joi

Got pain? Pregnancy wishes? Confidence issues in the sack? We have a position for all that! We spoke to top female sexual health experts to hear their recommendations about the best positions for the most common sexual health concerns. Get ready to meet your new favorite moves.

The Best Position for Baby-Making
While it’s true that you can get pregnant from all kinds of sexual positions, there is one that health experts frequently recommend as the way to increase your odds of becoming pregnant, and that’s the “missionary” position (male on top) with a “pelvic tilt,” says Amy Levine, a New York City–based sex coach, certified sexuality educator and founder of SexEdSolutions.com. “Putting a pillow under the tush can help elevate your pelvis, and create a slide effect—providing an easy path for his swimmers to make their way through your cervix on their journey to your ovum,” she says. “Typically, women who try this tend to maximize the ejaculation, since it stays in their body a little longer compared to positions in which you're upright, allowing the semen to drip out of the vagina.” And, don’t forget to orgasm, says Ava Cadell, a sex educator and founder of Loveology University in Los Angeles. “She is more likely to get pregnant if she climaxes,” she says.

The Best Position to Help Women Build Confidence in Bed
Maybe you feel insecure in the sack and could use a move that can help you feel more confident and in control? If so, Debby Herbenick, PhD, author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction, has a suggestion for you. Memorize these three words, she says: you on top. “It can be confidence-building because it physically helps women to be in control,” she says. “Make sure to do it your way, though. Woman on top can be done kneeling, squatting, facing forward or facing backward, so show off whatever you or he loves most about your body.”

The Best Position for Long-Lasting Sex
While premature ejaculation is a medical condition that your guy may need to seek treatment for, there are positional tricks you can try to help him increase his staying power. According to Levine, the missionary position (again, guy on top) may be the key to helping your partner last longer. “It can work for him if he has trouble going the distance,” she says. “The key is that he's in an easy position to stop and start when his arousal is increasing at a fast rate, and can take it down a notch so he can last longer.” Want to vary the missionary position a bit? Try this idea from Cadell. “The ‘fox’ position is a variation of missionary, in which the woman’s legs go all the way up and over her lover’s shoulders,” she says. “Penetration of the vagina is very deep in this position. She is contained in the boundaries of his body and he can dive totally inside her, maintaining his arousal and lasting longer.”

The Best Position for Women Who Experience Pain with Intercourse
There are often few quick fixes for intercourse-related pain; however, consider these two ideas that can help improve your intimate experiences. First, be sure to use lots of water-based lubricant, says Dr. Herbenick. Second, if pain is an issue, it’s important that you keep the reins, so to speak, in your hands. It’s why Dr. Herbenick, and other experts, recommend the woman-on-top position. “It gives the woman more control over taking sex at a pace that is comfortable for her.”

The Best Position If Your Guy Is Well-Endowed
Looking for more “oh”s than “ouch”s? Here’s your move: “The guy lies on his side; she lies perpendicular to him with legs spread as they rest over his body,” Dr. Herbenick explains. “This allows her to hold the base of his shaft if she wants to limit his range of motion, and allows her to use pelvic rocks to create an in-and-out sensation.” Levine says that women whose partners have “lengthy penises” love this position because “they can control how much of him will penetrate her, and can create pleasurable sensations for both without the cramping and discomfort that can happen when he hits her cervix during intense thrusting.”

The Best Position for Small Penises
Experts are quick to point out that penis size is a very minor part of a satisfying sex life, yet there are certain positions sex therapists recommend more often when a man has a smaller penis. The best? Woman on top, says Levine. But here’s the key: “You need to gyrate on him rather than move up and down, or else he's likely to slip out,” she says. “Missionary can also help, with your legs up on his shoulders. This allows him to penetrate you deeper, making the most of his size.”

Sarah Jio is the health and fitness blogger for Glamour.com. Visit her blog, Vitamin G.

My Perspective:
Sex, love making, intimacy, needs to be enjoyed to the fullest, don't hold back, let yourself go, experience everything about the moment, the person you are with...most importantly communicate and I promise that the expereince, what ever position you try...will be even more enjoyable.

Thanks for reading, till next time...Latino Man signing off.

Size of His Wallet = Size of her Orgasm

Ok, I seriously could not resist this topic, I am so amazed that everyday you hear and see something new…and sometimes it is so funny or not. Well, anyhow, I wanted to share this topic and see what you think. You know that old saying that, “Size Does Matters”, when it comes to intimacy, well, the “Size Does Matter” has gone to a whole new level and well…direction.

This is how it goes, size matters but in regards to the size of the man’s wallet, ok…it seems that the bigger the man’s wallet the better and bigger the women’s orgasms…interesting huh. Now, we all know that money and economy are the biggest culprits when it comes to dissolved marriages. Couples fight about money. Straight and simple. The thing is that when that happens women stress, not that the man doesn’t right, well it seems that women stress and when this happens they really don’t want to have any intimacy and if they do, mostly not by choice, they either fake an orgasms, 90% of the women do this or they simply do not enjoy it. Now, if a man can provide, a house, car, spending money (spending money seems to be the key here) and the woman not work then the women will have better and bigger orgasms…huh.

Now here is an interesting part, every woman that commented on the subject…totally agreed…ok. They said, of course if I did not have to work, but also had money to spend as I please, of course I would rock my hubbies world. Now, several men…actually most of the men with the exception of one…and I’ll get to him; stated that they are the sole providers and provided plenty of spending money for the wives candi4es; the thing is that when the man got home, if they did not have a maid, the house would be a mess, there was no food and the women either has a headache or had a busy day with the kids, if kids were involved. The women that had maids always had a great excuse as why they did not feel like having sex. Now, the one man that stated this was true, was a business owner…he said that it was totally true, he had been married before for 10 years, got divorced and afterwards made himself a name with his own business, well he met a younger women, about 20 years younger…he met her through his business, well, they dated briefly, married, she doesn’t work, she drives a nice car and has spending money. Now they do not have kids, he does from his first marriage, so when he gets home she has the house clean, food ready and of course the evenings are, what was that word he used?, “Incredible”. Now sure if it is the age difference, the money or the fact that they do not have kids.

The thing is, that I personally know of a guy, who works his own business, his wife does not work, they have three kids and well, they are as happy as can be. She maintains the house clean, takes care of the kids, drives a nice car, has money to spend and still has dinner ready for him, and actually waits to eat with him…he gets home a bit late. She puts the kids to bed while he showers or relaxes and then the evenings are well...he didn’t say…but he gets it 3-4 times a week…so that seems to work. I guess it just a matter of individuality, each person is different…of course right…the thing is finding that right person that fits in your or each other’s life style…some women prefer to work, have careers, other’s are great home makers…and yet others well they fall through the cracks…I don’t know.

I forgot to mention that all the men except one, totally said they were not that big in the men’s department, the one that said he did was the one with the younger wife, she actually confirmed…so maybe that was another plus on his side. So was it the size of the wallet and manly hood…or was it just the size of the wallet that left these men high and dry. You tell me, ladies is it the size of the wallet that counts?

My Perspective:
I think that it all depends on the couple, whom you are with. You see each of us is different, you might have two people that love to work and have careers, you might have a woman high in the corporate ladder that would rather have her husband stay at home, or of course the traditional marriage of the man being the provider and the women staying at home. The thing is, you need determine what you want out of life, do you, as a woman, want to be a home maker, take care of the home, kids and husband. Do you as a woman want to have a career and share in the duties of the family…I mean you as a woman need to find what makes you happy, so other’s are happy. First comes you, then everyone else, now that’s not being selfish, it’s the plain truth. I think it is very hard to find that exact person you can spend the rest of your life with; we all have corky things about us. So, simply finding Mr. or Mrs. Right isn’t as easy as 1-2-3. People need to determine what they really want out of life and then see if they find someone with the same plan…even if it takes a while, I think if you take your time and look and really get to know the person…it would save a lot of marriages. I know it’s hard to find the right person and when you do, they aren’t the person you fell in love with, maybe they lied, or possibly they change their plan, but all we can do is do not rush into a marriage, do not rush into having kids, take the time to know each other and what you want out of life, then everything else will fall nicely into place…I know it sounds to good to be true, but that is my perspective.

Till next time, Listen to soft sensual music, thanks for reading Latino Man signing off.

To Wear or Not to Wear Lingerie

So, today something popped into my mind…crazy I know. I guess I really shouldn’t be thinking of that in the middle of work during the afternoon, but for some crazy reason it did. So I wanted to write it down while it was hot on my mind…sort of speaking…lol.

So, I have being in conversations, over heard conversations, and it’s been a topic of conversations on some of my dates…not a usual first date topic, but you know eventually will get to it. But I even brought this up with a few friends, both male and females and it was interesting to hear the responses. Ok, so…the topic is what do you prefer, lingerie or not. Now, obviously there isn’t one guy out there that doesn’t like intimate and revealing lingerie. But when it comes down to it…most guys actually find it sexier for women to wear simple, casual things than lingerie. So out of 15 men I asked all but three said they like the following on a women…it necessarily doesn’t have to be just before the main event…lol…but it will set the mood for them.

A Tank-top with no bra and a pair of panties, and actually thongs wasn’t the big request, but some lacey undies and even a few said the small boy shorts, but a tank-top with no bra will get 12 of the 15 men I spoke to juices running. So need to purchase expensive lingerie, not to say they don’t mind but that’s what they like. So, my questions was Lingerie or not, and as I found out men prefer, not that they mind lingerie, but prefer a simple tank-top and undies…go figure.

Now I asked several women, friends I know and a few I didn’t….yah I dared…but come to realize that many of them find it time consuming and sometimes a pain to put on the lingerie. It could take a few hours to get prepare and for what…maybe 10-15 minutes at the most of wearing it…before their mate tears it off. Some said that their loved ones actually find them sexy coming out of the shower in a robe, wearing underneath simply undies…the whole ambiance gets their lovers going. So, I ask everyone out there, what do you prefer, man or women, do prefer Lingerie or simpler things?

I do have to say one thing…this was a big pet peeve from the guys I talked to…guys that have been in long relationships…hate it…really…should have seeing there faces…when women try and get intimate while wearing big giant sweats and a overly huge t-shirt…yah it blows the mood and for some reason they feel it really isn’t worth it…so they don’t put their all into it…weird…I know but they sort of slack of during the you know what and afterwards the women complain and the gus take it in one ear and out the other. That’s stinks…really…but I was surprised on that response from the guys. So, my suggestion ladies, if you want your man to perform (a little longer)…I would suggest taking off those huge sweatpants and overly large t-shirt before you seducing your man…lol…then maybe you’ll be in for a surprise….I am only saying. I believe it goes for men as well…so guys don’t expect a night of pasion if you are not looking all that sexy either…so guys step it up, clean up and enjoy.

My Perspective:
A s for me, I prefer the simpler things…not saying I wouldn’t enjoy a baby-doll, but if I see a women walking around in a Tank-top with undies…that really drives me bananas…the second thing that would do it…would be the out of the shower, robe and undies underneath only scene…yah…that would work. And if you think about it, It is true…about 10-15 minutes the clothing stays on…so …if we are on budgets…as most of us are…I think…we can go simpler and you’ll still set the mood. I hope to hear comments on this topic, so until next time, thanks for reading.