A Latinos Blog

Reality Check

So have you ever had an argument with a significant other that just totally made you have a HUGE reality Check? I mean when that happens, it begins a whole avalanche of thoughts that run through your mind, things begin making sense, why this happened,  why this person acts this way, and well I could not list everything that we would each go through.

The thing is you begin connecting the dots, and tell yourself, “Ahh, now I know why he/she never wanted to be intimate”. I mean, I hate to use that as an example, but I am a guy and well heck that’s the first thing that came to mind…yah..yah…I stink, but there are a whole lot of other things that came crashing through. Anyhow, so you get this reality check and not sure how some people would handle it, maybe some would loose it, yell, rave and ramp or maybe some will simply come to a peace of mind, calm sensation, which is what happen to me.

I finally realize why all those things were happening or why they weren’t and a sort of calmness washed over me and I simply said “OH”. So you ask yourself what do “I” do at that point; because yelling and arguing, seriously never ever help the situation. So, At that point you make a decision to move on and not linger with it, because there are something you can change or try, but we all try not to change the person we love, because we love them as they are with all their flaws, bad habits, etc, there are some things that none of should go through and should tried to be changed or simply we need to walk away. But that was not the case here, the thing is that when things or conversations happen like that and you finally realize that dam…what the heck…I mean I know for some it could mean 10, 15 or more years that were put into the relationship, and yah some of us have children in between, and I mean young children,  but does that mean that you as a person should have to continue living like that?

I think not, it might hurt like HELL, but you know that old saying, “Time heals Everything”. Well do it not just for you, but it should be the main reason, but for any kids that there may be…heck they see the turmoil between father and mother and it is not a good thing for them to see. Most importantly it’s for your own health and the health of the other partner. I know it all sounds easy on paper or on your screen, but when it comes down to it…and wait, with today’s economy many can afford to live and provide child support, or spousal support. I have even read articles about couples that have been divorced for a few years, but do to the economy or one of the parents loosing their job, they end up living together in the mean-time while things get better…like roommates; sounds crazy I know, but the variable are amazing.

You ever wonder why some marriages just walk away or almost kill each other, and bitter for years and years, how they do it…it becomes this monkey on each others back. And the horrible thing is that most of the time and it is a statistic, marriage or couples split do to financial reasons. And bitter divorces continue do to financial reasons. It makes you wonder why people even get married, unless you have a paid off house, lots of money in the bank, retirement money ready and waiting for you both, college money ready and waiting for any kids that come and most importantly making sure you sewed your oats way before you get married so that is out of the way…then, maybe then you get married. That still does not guarantee a successful marriage...wow.

Reality Checks, decisions, concerns, relationships, couples, finances and intimacy…it is more complicated that a Swiss Watch…yet we never seem to learn. What works, secrets, you know…what could it be that one ingredient…I have heard so many things, but they don’t all work for everyone….each person is so unique and trying to find that thing that keeps both of you connected for the long years ahead…is just not as simple as we would like to think.

My thing is that, why does it take something as bad as things cold get in order for a person to finally realize that it is wrong or not working? Why can’t we see things as they come to us, try to make them work and fix them of possible right then and there or move on? I know once again so many variables come into play and people are different so things never seem to work out the way most of us would like to But one thing is for sure, there are always signs, they might be small, sometimes they are huge, but there are always signs…the first thing you should not do is DENY them…you need to approach them as they come to you or they will end up becoming HUGE and non-correctable. Denial seems to be the first thing with anything that doesn’t go your way to be the one things that gets in the way…so get past “Denial” and maybe you can get moving on with your life.

My Perspective:

Relationships are more complex than a Swiss watch, or better said Rocket Science is possibly easier to understand than relationships, but that doesn’t mean that you should give up…may be move on. But one thing…to remember, get past “Denial” and the next steps should be right there.

Thanks for reading, till next time stay safe, and sane – Latino Man signing Off.