Change – Is NOT Possible

I recently posted a topic or topics and some where in there I talked about change and sometimes the need for us to make the change which at times can be really difficult. But as I read through it and the thing s I am going through now I not only at a personal level by a professional level…”Change” is many times not possible. We can change certain things, but many things that go on everyday in our lives…even little things…sometimes cannot be changed.

Now, when you think about it…sometimes we hope for the best and try to change things, well those that we can or we try, but when it comes down to it…if you look back at some of those things you supposedly changed…they some how crept back and you are right back to square one. So, maybe it is noticeable or maybe not…but look around you and there is a good possibility that something you might have worked on changing…could be right back in your life.

Now, I am not trying to be negative here ok…don’t take my post the wrong way…but I wanted to point something out about what I noticed around me…not only personally but professionally. Even at work things that people have meetings on or committees that work through a project, process or whatever it may be…something to improve the bottom line for the company or business…well…I noticed that those 6 months of meetings and possibly tens of thousands of dollars spent on the committee…you know time and salaries of the individuals involved…pretty much seem to be written off. Because the issues or processes ends right back to where it started from…the work that was done…is for nothing.

And that doesn’t go only for work process and projects, etc. it happens in our life, with relationships, raising kids, love, etc…things such as New Year resolutions may get started but end up right back on our shoulders. What I am trying to say about this is that we try and make changes we would like to see done, but it seems that in most cases our efforts and or work seems to be for nothing. So why would anyone of us put ourselves through those kinds of regimens? Couldn’t we just avoid the work or loss of money and time and simply continue with what we were trying to change…because when you think about it…most of won’t make the necessary change unless something horrible happens…because it is then that we make the change because of a loss of a love one or a drastic injury to ourselves…maybe loosing you job and house…will bring about changes in how you control your finances…whatever it maybe …it all comes down to making the change whether it be by your own means or because of a drastic event in your / our lives.

My Perspective:
It’s tough to give my perspective because I could simply say why bother making change…why not wait until something drastically or huge event causes you to make the change without your opinion. Because if you try it just because you want to…it seems never to pan out…or for many of us…it does not pan out or it comes right back. Or you can go ahead and attempt a New Years resolutions and hope that in 6 months or year it doesn’t come back…if that is the case then good luck.

Thanks for reading till next time Latino man signing off.

Reality Check

So have you ever had an argument with a significant other that just totally made you have a HUGE reality Check? I mean when that happens, it begins a whole avalanche of thoughts that run through your mind, things begin making sense, why this happened,  why this person acts this way, and well I could not list everything that we would each go through.

The thing is you begin connecting the dots, and tell yourself, “Ahh, now I know why he/she never wanted to be intimate”. I mean, I hate to use that as an example, but I am a guy and well heck that’s the first thing that came to mind…yah..yah…I stink, but there are a whole lot of other things that came crashing through. Anyhow, so you get this reality check and not sure how some people would handle it, maybe some would loose it, yell, rave and ramp or maybe some will simply come to a peace of mind, calm sensation, which is what happen to me.

I finally realize why all those things were happening or why they weren’t and a sort of calmness washed over me and I simply said “OH”. So you ask yourself what do “I” do at that point; because yelling and arguing, seriously never ever help the situation. So, At that point you make a decision to move on and not linger with it, because there are something you can change or try, but we all try not to change the person we love, because we love them as they are with all their flaws, bad habits, etc, there are some things that none of should go through and should tried to be changed or simply we need to walk away. But that was not the case here, the thing is that when things or conversations happen like that and you finally realize that dam…what the heck…I mean I know for some it could mean 10, 15 or more years that were put into the relationship, and yah some of us have children in between, and I mean young children,  but does that mean that you as a person should have to continue living like that?

I think not, it might hurt like HELL, but you know that old saying, “Time heals Everything”. Well do it not just for you, but it should be the main reason, but for any kids that there may be…heck they see the turmoil between father and mother and it is not a good thing for them to see. Most importantly it’s for your own health and the health of the other partner. I know it all sounds easy on paper or on your screen, but when it comes down to it…and wait, with today’s economy many can afford to live and provide child support, or spousal support. I have even read articles about couples that have been divorced for a few years, but do to the economy or one of the parents loosing their job, they end up living together in the mean-time while things get better…like roommates; sounds crazy I know, but the variable are amazing.

You ever wonder why some marriages just walk away or almost kill each other, and bitter for years and years, how they do it…it becomes this monkey on each others back. And the horrible thing is that most of the time and it is a statistic, marriage or couples split do to financial reasons. And bitter divorces continue do to financial reasons. It makes you wonder why people even get married, unless you have a paid off house, lots of money in the bank, retirement money ready and waiting for you both, college money ready and waiting for any kids that come and most importantly making sure you sewed your oats way before you get married so that is out of the way…then, maybe then you get married. That still does not guarantee a successful marriage...wow.

Reality Checks, decisions, concerns, relationships, couples, finances and intimacy…it is more complicated that a Swiss Watch…yet we never seem to learn. What works, secrets, you know…what could it be that one ingredient…I have heard so many things, but they don’t all work for everyone….each person is so unique and trying to find that thing that keeps both of you connected for the long years ahead…is just not as simple as we would like to think.

My thing is that, why does it take something as bad as things cold get in order for a person to finally realize that it is wrong or not working? Why can’t we see things as they come to us, try to make them work and fix them of possible right then and there or move on? I know once again so many variables come into play and people are different so things never seem to work out the way most of us would like to But one thing is for sure, there are always signs, they might be small, sometimes they are huge, but there are always signs…the first thing you should not do is DENY them…you need to approach them as they come to you or they will end up becoming HUGE and non-correctable. Denial seems to be the first thing with anything that doesn’t go your way to be the one things that gets in the way…so get past “Denial” and maybe you can get moving on with your life.

My Perspective:

Relationships are more complex than a Swiss watch, or better said Rocket Science is possibly easier to understand than relationships, but that doesn’t mean that you should give up…may be move on. But one thing…to remember, get past “Denial” and the next steps should be right there.

Thanks for reading, till next time stay safe, and sane – Latino Man signing Off.

Mens Magazine – Not the Same

I thought this was interesting. Now, I have read Men’s Health magazine and other men’s magazine, not Playboy, but other magazine. Any how, lately I have been reading Cosmopolitan, yah I have been reading that. You know I think I even posted about an article I read in it a few blog post ago. Anyhow, so I come to realize when doing a comparison that women magazine provide their reader, which is women targeted, with more information on how to court a man, keep a man or simply make a man happy. Now, there are some articles that directly tell women on what to say to their man in order for the women to get her thing on…or even have a fantastic “O”.

So, I was reading and I started comparing and I realize that the men’s magazine’s don’t provide that kind of insight or articles. It would be great to have article that tell men on experiences that other men have had, maybe dealing with sexual issues, or dealing with kids, or things that are on every mans mind, when they are single and when they are married or in a relationship. You been in my forties, I have had the opportunity to hear a lot of men’s issues with heir girlfriends, or wives and seriously they always seems to be similar issues among all the men I talked to. So if there are men out there that have been able to get through these concerns, then why not right an article about it…maybe not everyone might agree with the idea, but that’s what it would be, and idea, and options…some kind of light at the end of the tunnel.

I mean…women complain that men’s mind are simple, or single minded…only on sex, well, I hate to break the news to you ladies, but that is not completely true. We enjoy sex…heck…I know most women also. But there are other things that we would like as well. I am pretty sure if you just hang out with your guy, and talk to him, and not about your friends, or kids, but about him and you…sit with a glass of wine, a cold beer or heck a glass of water and talk, and listen. The thing is don’t sit at the dinning table, but in a loveseat that’s why the couch was giving that name it is all about the LOVEseat. Use it to sit next to each other and talk, but most importantly cuddle…I promise your guy will definitely enjoy the time together and it doesn’t necessarily need to lead to sex, but if it does…I am pretty sure it will be all the better.

The thing is that men’s magazine don’t need to always teach a guy to look good, to attract the ladies, but they need to provide information on how to be yourself, how not to be nervous about talking to a women, and if they put you down for whatever reason learn to talk it through and let them know how it made you feel…or simply brush it off…but gracefully. Just because we are men, doesn’t mean we can’t be a man and still shed a tear.

I don’t know…but maybe I am completely wrong and maybe I haven’t seen or read all the articles in those Men’s magazine…the thing is that there should be articles written for men, to provide them with insight on the many issues that men experience while in a relationship. Men helping men…providing advice, experiences or even just knowing that you are not the only “Man” going through what you are going through.

My Perspective:
Maybe we need something out there for Men, to share information, ideas, thoughts, experiences and some advice. We can get the older generation to provide what they been through and have the younger generation prove insight on what they are going through…together, maybe we can share options on how to deal with all the issues that we as men are going through or been through.

I appreciate the read, till next time Latino Man signing off.

Women Having Kids

The other day I was reading Cosmopolitan, yah I was reading Cosmo. Any ways there was an article on women having children and how 1 out of 5 women are now deciding that having children is not as important in a marriage or to them as it was back maybe in 1990’s when it was 1 out of 10 women on the topic of children. Many women are deciding in pursuing their careers or establishing themselves financially first and maybe having children later in their lives, but what’s happening is that later in their lives they are comfortable and content with their lives. Child bearing is not at the top of the list anymore.

Another thing too is that besides not being at the top of the list, the few that decide to go ahead and have children are doing so at a later age than it’s normal to. With today’s medical advances, it is easier for women over 35 or even 40 to have children. But the amount of women doing so has reduced. Now, of course I am not a women, but have been married for a long time and have two children.

Getting there was tough, we had to go through a lot of infertility programs over a span of 5 years, before we finally gave up and bam we had our first child. It wasn’t until my son was 7 when we were surprised with our daughter, not something we were expecting especially after seven years. But we did think about maybe not having kids at one point and trying to get ahead financially and maybe get situated a bit better, then try again. The thing is during that time there was a hesitation in having kids, coming from my significant other, and as she got older she was a bit more nervous and concern health wise, so I guess I did experience some of the feeling or thoughts that many women are having now, specifically through my significant other, but my question is in our instance it was different, so why is it that many women are now having second thoughts on the whole thing about having kids?

Is it really that they wish to move ahead in their career or is it that they cannot find the right partner to move forward with it…yah there are millions of single moms out there doing just find, but it seems that more and more women don’t want to do it alone anymore, not because they can’t simply because they do not want to…they want to share in the upbringing and of course share in the responsibility. It seems now more and more men are getting more involved in raising their children, changing diapers, feeding, hospital visits, school functions, after school sports, etc. it’s not all the women anymore you can begin to see more and more men at these places. So I think that the career thing is not the only reason why there is a jump in women not having kids…1 out of 5…I think there are other variables involved.

My Perspective:
We can read all these articles, studies or whatever we see, but the thing is that you need to look into it further and not take everything you read as strong facts. I think that we as couples participate more, communicate more then we will see an increase of women getting back into the maternity thinking…it’s a strong feeling, child and mother…I just can’t believe that it’s been replaced with Career. Those are my thoughts, thanks for reading, till next time Latino Man signing off till next time.

Be safe, be adventures, find balance between work and life.

Non-Interactive Society

Texting, Social Networks, No Social Skills…

We all remember Wally – E and the famous ship traveling the universe where mankind simply sat in these oversized lounge chairs, while they did nothing physically. They were waiting for the time they would be able to return to earth and restart where they had left off.

The story line seems awfully familiar, almost seems like many of us are living it right now. With all the floods, earth quakes, financial worries looming on the media, why would anyone want to leave the safety of their home. Simply staying put on that couch or lounge chair seems to be taking a hold off our society. Now, we can place the blame completely on the media, we also need to start looking at all the new technology advances, such as text messaging, social networks like face book, these conveniences might not be all that convenient or healthy for us.

Society now has now been so accustomed to having everything at their fingertips, or thumbs in some cases. With the new revolutionary way of communicating, via texting people simply pull out their convenient phone and send a quick message to their beloveds. It seems to be quicker than dialing and talking. Before the night club scene was the place to socialize, meet you people that you can actually touch, see, smell and hold a live conversation. Social network like Face Book, My Space and Twitter people simply write a quick sentence or post a picture and that’s how they communicate. But that’s not the worst of it all, now with abbreviated text messages, such as Laugh Out Loud (LOL), By the way (BTW), etc. people are beginning to loose any social skills that we had. Dating , well people meet online now, emails or post are exchanged and then one face to face meeting and your setup, married, engage…but hen a few weeks later things don’t work out, because most of the people online most definitely twist their stories and well simply put you never know who you will meet online.

It’s amazing, even the convenience of Texting, people don’t pick up the phone anymore and say hello or please stop by the store…its now, “Hey Can U Go 2 da store. Thnx”. Texting has giving people a new method of avoiding any kind of human contact, in any type of relationship, friends, dating partners, married couples…its everywhere. Social networks have not only replaced going out, but it has also become a means of bullying others and not only in front of your friends or neighbors, these cyber bullies can bully you in front of MILLIONS. I totally feel that all these conveniences are great, don’t get me wrong, but we need to find a balance and not loose touch with our human side. But please don’t take my words for being true, simply look around you when you are out and about, people walking as they texting, or ask your friend if they have a Face Book account, maybe you do as well, you’ll see that most everyone you know and that they know are on some kind of social network.

Ok wait, I do hear that people use these social networks to communicate with family, and friends all over the words, by sharing stories, events and pictures, but then you forget how to say hello, or guess what, people interpret writing differently and misunderstandings happen, “well that text sounded like she or he was mad”, and friendships and marriages or relationships are broken…because of a text message misunderstood….wait, imagine on Face Book, then someone you thought you know writes something horrible on your wall, the wall is where people on Face book write messages, well those that you allow to, so what do you think would happen…someone writes that they saw you with so and so, when in fact it wasn’t true…a relationship could be broken…because of someone hundreds or thousands of miles away. People don’t have to put face anymore and still hurt others.

The world is failing economically, we are slowly finishing the earth resources, we are slipping away from live interaction and it seems no one really cares, they are sleeping going with the flow. Walking in a st5aright line looking at our cell phone while texting, getting home and eating ready made foods and jumping online to begin socializing with friends and family. No more BBQs, or holiday dinners, or speed dating. One day we will be hooked up to our computers and simply be.

I mean, of course we have the gas prices issue that many are enduring and makes traveling by car near impossible or only a necessity if needed, so I guess a little everything sort of plays a part on the direction our society is going towards…maybe Wally-E will eventually be. I might not be in my complete right mind, and maybe thousands will disagree with this post, but let’s see what our society will look like in 5 years.

Thanks for reading, keep safe, be adventures, and talk to your love one instead of texting or emailing them, read a book first before watching the movie, BBQ instead of having Mc Donald’s. Till next time, Latino Man signing off.

Today’s Technology - Communication

This is a huge topic for me ok and I am sure you’ll get tired, but then again this is my Blog…communications and funny thing is that with today’s technology and I am referring to Texting…it really doesn’t help at all.  You see people are no longer or hardly ever picking up the phone to talk to someone…they simply send a text. So what I see happening is eventually people will not be able to talk to one another…or hold a conversation. Learning proper pronunciation will be a thing of the past….why because as long as you have good grammar all you need to do is send a text.

I had to bring this up because in my relationship there is little to no communication anymore…and just about 6 months ago my significant other purchased a new phone and of course with it some new features…well guess what…Texting is one of them and well…the few times we use to talk…which were little are now in the form of texts Wait…ok…so texting people tell is not bad and it is convenient, well the thing is that with texting comes all sorts of abbreviated words, Laugh out loud (LOL), Be right back (BRB), etc…so not only do you no longer communicate…now the words are even abbreviated…that blows my mind.

We can’t simply put the kids to bed and pour a glass of wine or beer and talk to your significant other…but when you first meet…do you remember those days, hours on the phone…hours hanging outside in the freaking cold talking…and  some how that all disappears. You know right now many of you are saying that isn’t the case in my relationship…well…I say…to you…wait for it…it will come, of course I hope not but it will come. Why do I say that…come on I have neighbors and friends  that have been married 25, 30 or more years…and you know  what their secret is…they sleep in separate rooms…yah that’s a great solution.

So thanks to technology for making our lives easier, but no thanks on helping people communicate verbally. So how far will technology take us? Has anyone seen surrogate? That move had Bruce Willies in it…it was very interesting…maybe one day we don’t have to be ourselves anymore and pick and choose whom we want to be…and not feel a darn thing…wow…yah I am raving on and on…but Texting…guess I can’t text on my phone and I don’t need to or want it. Of course people tell me I am out dated, but you know what I think that something else will eventually come along that will take the place of texting and we’ll only fall deeper into this non-verbal world that seems to be creeping up on us.

My Perspective:
Put down that cell phone, stop texting and talk to your significant other or best friend. Get together at Starbuck or a happy hour and talk to one another. Got kids get a babysitter or have your parents watch the kids for three or four hours…and go someone semi-quite and talk…using your mouth. You know what I think…seriously you’ll enjoy it…and you are asking what the heck should we talk about…how about those dreams you both had when you first met…and not to bring up old wounds or things that never happen, but maybe at this point in both your lives you can maybe make one or both of them come true or at least get started…but talk.

Thanks for reading my ramping and raving, till next time Latino Man is signing off.

'Manopause' Hits Middle-Aged Men
Increase in Testosterone via Injections or Gels Could Help Problem

While men may not suffer hot flashes like women who experience menopause, middle-aged men's bodies do undergo major changes -- including hormonal ones.

Male menopause, or, as doctors call it, andro pause, is similar to the hormonal drop that most women experience as they grow older, but more gradual.  (ABCNEWS.com)

At age 50, John Upton said he hit midlife and hit rock bottom. Upton, a documentary filmmaker and father of four, was newly-divorced and feeling more lost than ever. "It's like you are looking at yourself, and you don't recognize the person that you are seeing," Upton said. He began searching for a way out of his rut -- a downward spiral he said left him depressed, overweight and hopeless. "Some people my age say, 'Well, I'm just going to age gracefully,'" he said. "Obesity, depression, lethargy [and] despair are not graceful qualities in my book." He learned what he was going through was not a fleeting midlife crisis, but a very real medical condition.

Doctors call it andro pause. It's similar to the hormonal drop that most women experience as they grow older, but more gradual. Men lose about one percent of their testosterone every year, beginning at age 30. Unlike female menopause, which usually runs its course in a matter of years, so-called "male menopause," can last decades. "What I was seeing was hundreds and hundreds of relationships falling apart at midlife, just when the couples could really be enjoying their lives," Jed Diamond, author of "Male Menopause," said. "The depression that accompanies these kinds of changes can kill men at early ages that don't need to die." Doctors say millions of American men suffer the symptoms of andro pause without even knowing what it is.

Symptoms like fatigue, depression, anger, anxiety, memory loss, relationship problems, loss of sex drive and erectile dysfunction are common and often written off as a normal sign of aging. Upton's doctors recommended testosterone injections, but mandated that his hormone and blood pressure levels be tested regularly. The shots, he says, gave him a new lease on life "I will take the next 10 years as I am, because the way I was in those old pictures, I don't, I wouldn't want to live another 30 years like that," he said.

While prescriptions for testosterone products like injections and gels have tripled in the last few years, they're not for everyone. "We know that prostate cancer grows in the presence of testosterone," the UCLA Urology Program's Dr. Christopher Saigal said. "When you remove it, the testosterone from the body, the prostate cancer goes away." But you won't hear any complaints from Upton. Today he's remarried and his new wife Elizabeth Upton reports her husband acts like a man 20 years younger -- even in the bedroom.

Men suffering from the symptoms of male menopause should go their doctors and have them test for active testosterone, which is the kind that can cause symptoms if your numbers are low. Some physicians only measure total testosterone, which may not give the full picture.

My Perspective:
It;s hard to say what it could be, yo think as a man that you married a women because she was the one...not only because she was the going to be the mother of your children but because she was going to satisfy you in every way, but it turns out not to be the case and you run or turn somewhere else , I don't consent  to thta but why does SEX or making LOVE go down the tubes afer being married. The guy ends up worring if she could satisfy her or bring her to orgasm...but he notices that he cannot anymore...so from that point on he can't get it hard because all he thinks about is trying to make her HAPPY...and then he losses his hardness and the night BLOWS.

I still think that comunication is the key here, but now-a-days individuals don't bother. Well thanks for reading till next time Latino Man signing off.