Same ‘O Same ‘O– Communication

This is an interesting topic and one that still baffles me is the thing about intimacy and communication. Yah we read and hear and people tells us always that “Communication” is an important factor in a relationship and most importantly in the intimacy of the relationship. The thing is that no one really does it or most people really only say it but never follow through.

Now, when you first meet someone people always try and please the other person, and pretty much only worry about there needs, wants and well everything, but they really never think about their own needs, which in fact are important in the relationship because if you are not feeling it, then it will show through and your better half will eventually notice. This will bring, angry, resentment, among other feelings that will or could eventually lead to a breakup. This all could have been resolved with some simply communication – right up front – when you first meet or better said when you first are intimate.

Now, the thing is that we all know that hardly ever happens, meaning that two people communicate about anything, so we end up seeing couples that have been together for years, even decades and they have the same issue…you can tell that neither individual is happy with the relationship but yet they stay together. Does that make us creatures of habit? I think many of us if not all of us, including myself, when we settle in and get comfortable we sort of stay there whether it is bad or good. I don’t know the thing is, maybe there are some individuals that can communicate what they need or want, but I think the majority of us don’t have real good listening skills…or we simply just don’t listen.

So why do we see articles on this and why does every one tell their friends and love ones that listening is important in any relationship and in all aspect of the relationship…yet they don’t follow their own advice. Now with all that said, if there are issues any part of your relationship, seriously, please talk to your partner. Whether it is about money, which we all know it is a very touchy subject and many times could lead to huge fights, but if you can learn to talk about it, maybe you both can come to an agreement. Now if it has to do with household chores, talk about it, if any one of you feels that you are doing more then talk. Another thing that I saw worked is trade chores, between man and women, such as cooking, cleaning, and such as mowing the lawn, pruning the trees, fixing the computer, etc. Sometimes seeing what the other person does will shed a light on the whole chore thing. But you know what the best piece of advice that I can give in regards to household chores or family life…is ask for HELP…simply ask your significant other to do something in particular, you will be amazed that if you ask nicely they will be glad to do it

The whole communication thingy in relationships seems to only work if the two people involved do it together, any other way does not work and will more than likely lead to problems.

But back to the intimacy thingy, which I find to be a very important part of any relationship, because intimacy not only is good sexually, but emotionally it has its affects…it brings people together, if you communicate. And if you think about it, intimacy is when everyone is most vulnerable and usually let go of their inhibitions. So if you want it to be a certain way or you like it a certain way…they tell them. You are just as important or better said you should be satisfied sexually as much as the other person, and believe if you are a women, guys want to make their women happy…and they – we – men - will listen, believe me…we will. So guys and gals, talk, tell each other what you like and it will be great.

Heck…I probably blogged about this same topic a million times, but everyday as I wake up and go to work, go to the gym go to the store or just go out…I see that people never really communicate about anything and nothing ever gets resolved, it saddens me…to see our society go “Texting”, emailing and never physically talking anymore.

My perspective:
Communication has been an essential part of any relationship, lovers, friends, family, and yet it is so hard for anyone of us to do, yet it can seriously fix a lot of personal problems or at least clear them up…so do it. The next time you are intimate with your significant other and there is something she or he is not doing right or maybe they are doing right, let them know. It will be great for you and them and everyone will be happy. Talk don’t yell, breath don’t hyper-ventilate, listen – really listen and say good morning, afternoon or evening instead of texting.

Thanks for reading till next time Latino Man signing off.

Non-Interactive Society

Texting, Social Networks, No Social Skills…

We all remember Wally – E and the famous ship traveling the universe where mankind simply sat in these oversized lounge chairs, while they did nothing physically. They were waiting for the time they would be able to return to earth and restart where they had left off.

The story line seems awfully familiar, almost seems like many of us are living it right now. With all the floods, earth quakes, financial worries looming on the media, why would anyone want to leave the safety of their home. Simply staying put on that couch or lounge chair seems to be taking a hold off our society. Now, we can place the blame completely on the media, we also need to start looking at all the new technology advances, such as text messaging, social networks like face book, these conveniences might not be all that convenient or healthy for us.

Society now has now been so accustomed to having everything at their fingertips, or thumbs in some cases. With the new revolutionary way of communicating, via texting people simply pull out their convenient phone and send a quick message to their beloveds. It seems to be quicker than dialing and talking. Before the night club scene was the place to socialize, meet you people that you can actually touch, see, smell and hold a live conversation. Social network like Face Book, My Space and Twitter people simply write a quick sentence or post a picture and that’s how they communicate. But that’s not the worst of it all, now with abbreviated text messages, such as Laugh Out Loud (LOL), By the way (BTW), etc. people are beginning to loose any social skills that we had. Dating , well people meet online now, emails or post are exchanged and then one face to face meeting and your setup, married, engage…but hen a few weeks later things don’t work out, because most of the people online most definitely twist their stories and well simply put you never know who you will meet online.

It’s amazing, even the convenience of Texting, people don’t pick up the phone anymore and say hello or please stop by the store…its now, “Hey Can U Go 2 da store. Thnx”. Texting has giving people a new method of avoiding any kind of human contact, in any type of relationship, friends, dating partners, married couples…its everywhere. Social networks have not only replaced going out, but it has also become a means of bullying others and not only in front of your friends or neighbors, these cyber bullies can bully you in front of MILLIONS. I totally feel that all these conveniences are great, don’t get me wrong, but we need to find a balance and not loose touch with our human side. But please don’t take my words for being true, simply look around you when you are out and about, people walking as they texting, or ask your friend if they have a Face Book account, maybe you do as well, you’ll see that most everyone you know and that they know are on some kind of social network.

Ok wait, I do hear that people use these social networks to communicate with family, and friends all over the words, by sharing stories, events and pictures, but then you forget how to say hello, or guess what, people interpret writing differently and misunderstandings happen, “well that text sounded like she or he was mad”, and friendships and marriages or relationships are broken…because of a text message misunderstood….wait, imagine on Face Book, then someone you thought you know writes something horrible on your wall, the wall is where people on Face book write messages, well those that you allow to, so what do you think would happen…someone writes that they saw you with so and so, when in fact it wasn’t true…a relationship could be broken…because of someone hundreds or thousands of miles away. People don’t have to put face anymore and still hurt others.

The world is failing economically, we are slowly finishing the earth resources, we are slipping away from live interaction and it seems no one really cares, they are sleeping going with the flow. Walking in a st5aright line looking at our cell phone while texting, getting home and eating ready made foods and jumping online to begin socializing with friends and family. No more BBQs, or holiday dinners, or speed dating. One day we will be hooked up to our computers and simply be.

I mean, of course we have the gas prices issue that many are enduring and makes traveling by car near impossible or only a necessity if needed, so I guess a little everything sort of plays a part on the direction our society is going towards…maybe Wally-E will eventually be. I might not be in my complete right mind, and maybe thousands will disagree with this post, but let’s see what our society will look like in 5 years.

Thanks for reading, keep safe, be adventures, and talk to your love one instead of texting or emailing them, read a book first before watching the movie, BBQ instead of having Mc Donald’s. Till next time, Latino Man signing off.

Today’s Technology - Communication

This is a huge topic for me ok and I am sure you’ll get tired, but then again this is my Blog…communications and funny thing is that with today’s technology and I am referring to Texting…it really doesn’t help at all.  You see people are no longer or hardly ever picking up the phone to talk to someone…they simply send a text. So what I see happening is eventually people will not be able to talk to one another…or hold a conversation. Learning proper pronunciation will be a thing of the past….why because as long as you have good grammar all you need to do is send a text.

I had to bring this up because in my relationship there is little to no communication anymore…and just about 6 months ago my significant other purchased a new phone and of course with it some new features…well guess what…Texting is one of them and well…the few times we use to talk…which were little are now in the form of texts Wait…ok…so texting people tell is not bad and it is convenient, well the thing is that with texting comes all sorts of abbreviated words, Laugh out loud (LOL), Be right back (BRB), etc…so not only do you no longer communicate…now the words are even abbreviated…that blows my mind.

We can’t simply put the kids to bed and pour a glass of wine or beer and talk to your significant other…but when you first meet…do you remember those days, hours on the phone…hours hanging outside in the freaking cold talking…and  some how that all disappears. You know right now many of you are saying that isn’t the case in my relationship…well…I say…to you…wait for it…it will come, of course I hope not but it will come. Why do I say that…come on I have neighbors and friends  that have been married 25, 30 or more years…and you know  what their secret is…they sleep in separate rooms…yah that’s a great solution.

So thanks to technology for making our lives easier, but no thanks on helping people communicate verbally. So how far will technology take us? Has anyone seen surrogate? That move had Bruce Willies in it…it was very interesting…maybe one day we don’t have to be ourselves anymore and pick and choose whom we want to be…and not feel a darn thing…wow…yah I am raving on and on…but Texting…guess I can’t text on my phone and I don’t need to or want it. Of course people tell me I am out dated, but you know what I think that something else will eventually come along that will take the place of texting and we’ll only fall deeper into this non-verbal world that seems to be creeping up on us.

My Perspective:
Put down that cell phone, stop texting and talk to your significant other or best friend. Get together at Starbuck or a happy hour and talk to one another. Got kids get a babysitter or have your parents watch the kids for three or four hours…and go someone semi-quite and talk…using your mouth. You know what I think…seriously you’ll enjoy it…and you are asking what the heck should we talk about…how about those dreams you both had when you first met…and not to bring up old wounds or things that never happen, but maybe at this point in both your lives you can maybe make one or both of them come true or at least get started…but talk.

Thanks for reading my ramping and raving, till next time Latino Man is signing off.

Office “Wife” or “Husband”



You know I think this topic has to be extremely common and one that I am certain others are going through or have gone through. You see many of us work in an office environment or restaurant or anywhere that we would intermingle with people. Now, since we spent a very large amount of our day at work it is very common that we end up with some close friends or at it is commonly known as, Work Husband” or “Work Wife”. These are people that well act like your spouses but are not really married and most of the time it is done out of fun.

These individuals usually just give you crap but when you think about it, sometimes they borrow money, a buck here a buck there or when happy hours come along you buy them a drink or share in your appetizers. The biggest thing is sometimes these types of relationships go a bit beyond and we end up sharing intimate things with them that we use to share with our spouses but no longer do. On many occasions these types of harmless acting can lead to some kind of relationship that could well you get my point.

The thing is I ask myself why does this happen? Is it that marriage or relationships become monotone…for a better word? I mean when you first meet someone there was that extreme chemistry, lust, attraction and well it seemed that you were both meant to be, so then why after say 5-7 years does it become monotone? I am not making excuses I am trying to see why things like this happen and if we see the signs, why doesn’t anyone of the two try and change things.Well wait…let me rephrase that. There is always one in a relationship that tries and makes things better, but it takes the both of you to make it work. So why let it go there. Is it possible that the one that does not try…simply not interested anymore and doesn’t know how to tell the other and well waits for something crazy and stupid for the other to do…it sort of sounds like the one that doesn’t care anymore simply washing there hands to the relationship.

I don’t know, but the reason I am bringing this up is well…I have been in this company for nearly 7 years, now I am married…times are tough but I am sure I am not the only one. The thing is…and I say this liberally…there is a woman at work that as funny as it sounds…I like her voice. Now, to say the least, she is very pretty…cute pretty and she seems to be a down to earth fun person. Someone you can joke with, and probably a woman that you can sit with and watch a sport and have a cold one. Now, I don’t really talk to her, its one of those hi and bye things, but once in a while we chat a little. She is married and has two children, like me…and when exchange pleasantries about our children…nothing more. But, the thing is lately and I am not the only one to notice…she has begun dressing very nice…very eye catching…nice…you know what I mean guys and some ladies. And well…I think she is hot…straight up.

Now, like I said she is married and so am I, but what happens with other people that maybe fall in this area…they sometimes pursue the relationship and well things happen…but why. Shouldn’t people in relationships tell the other that they are done trying and they need to move on…before being infidel? Why leave a relationship as the bad person, because the excuse that she or he made me do it…well doesn’t cut it. So why not break it off clean and move one clean?

So, how many relationships start in the office, probably a lot more than anyone knows and how many of those new relationships break up other relationships? Sometimes I wonder if the cycle continues with those new relationships…scary. Well…I wanted to bring this up because I hoping to see if get any comments regarding this post. I wanted to bring this up because I was thinking about that women in my office….she started to dress very nice…is that a sign that maybe her marriage is on the rocks? I don’t know but with my experience and what I hear and see…it surely does.

So, if we all know that these types of things could happen in a relationship…then why do we let it get to that point? My theory is that there are two kinds of people in a relationship, the one that move the relationship and the one that follows. Usually the one that follows gets bored and wishes to move on but has no clue on how to communicate that to their significant other. So, two things happen. The one that move the relationship ends up doing something stupid or the one that doesn’t do a thing just lives with it. Then two things could happen with that relationship, either it is a bad break up (sometimes good) or the relationship remains and drags on till death do them apart.

My Perspective:

Communication is the most important thing in a relationship…for those that can communicate…you might have to do it for the both of you, but do it. Don’t end up doing something stupid that you might regret…a few simple words can make things better, maybe not right away but I can truly believe that taking the time to talk and break it off will eliminate a huge headache or pain that could last longer than the words. So if your significant other doesn’t talk and the signs are there…do you and the other a favor…talk? Now, I know times are tough and trying to start fresh on your own, specially with kids can be a financial obstacle, but if you see the signs, start saving money on the side and prepare your self…you can do it yah maybe you won’t have that 50 inch TV or nice back yard to BBQ, but you’ll be a better person for it and so will your significant other…not to mention any kids that maybe involved because believe me they know when mom & dad are not getting along…they maybe young and inexperience, but love is love and when it is not there…they know it.

Thanks for reading and till next time…remember communication is it. Latino Man signing off.

When You 1^st Meet – What To Talk About?

You know I was sitting in my truck the other day during lunch and I was just looking out the window looking at the clouds get darker and the wind pick, but what was interesting was that and a few couples or better said people…man and women, probably not yet together, you know the first stage of meeting and getting to know one another. Well, I was thinking to myself, I remember when I was first out on the scene you know dating or playing the field sort of speaking, but anyhow…so I remember that when I first approached a women, I thought to myself what in the heck am I going to say to her. Of course you always hear about the famous pickup lines, but I could never bring myself to using any of them. I thought well to be honest I thought they were stupid and when I got together with some my friends we talked about them and could not believe that they sometimes worked, whether the line actually worked or the women thought it was so cute or well pathetic that they obviously had to talk to the guy. Anyhow, so I never used the lines and well a large percentage of the times I tried…well it did not go well.

I was shot down; the thing is I always started out with either a hello, what’s your name or in some clubs I would ask them to dance. Now, the thing is I started thinking what actually works in order for anyone to actually meet someone, but not just meet, but keep the conversation going. I guess when I thought about it, it actually never came down to what the pick up line was, but actually of the individual, girl/guy, liked you. You see, I really don’t care what anyone says, the first thing that brings your attention to someone is their Looks, of course everyone has different flavors, but there is something that you will find attractive about the person before you even begin to talk to them.

So I believe that first you need to attract someone; then once you do approach them and they find you attractive they will allow the conversation to continue, whether you gave a corky pickup line or not. So this hwole thing about what should I say, really should not concern you, because either case what ever you say, it really comes down to you attracting someone, from there everything else falls in place.

So, as I go back and look at some of these couple walking around the office building, I say to myself, they found each other attracted and they began their courtship. Because looking at the couples, there were all flavors, some that would make you think, that everyone has there other half, but you know what the real thing is that everyone has a different flavor; for example some guys like them big, some like them tall, some short some dark hair, etc…but whether the guys looks totally hot to you and he is walking around with a big lady…don’t wonder why she got him, instead tell yourself that that is his flavor.

Hey I am just throwing that theory out, but when I think about it, and I talk to friends, colleagues, strangers, I think back and recall always hearing that they remember her or him looking hot walking into the club, or store or whatever…but the physical attraction was the key component in I believe 95% of al relationships…think about it…what made you talk to that boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband. I could talk for most guys, usually it was some physical attribute…plain and simple…don’t deny guys…you know it and I know it.

My Perspective:
The next time you are out clubbing or looking for love and you walk up to that guy or gal and they shoot you down, don’t take it personally because it isn’t you, it’s them…because they are attracted to another flavor and eventually you will…after much tasting…find your flavor. Be Safe, Be Adventures, and always remember things will get better. Thanks for reading Latino Man signing Off.