Educating Our Children

You know the other day I was walking through Old Town with my 2 kids, one is 2 and the other is 9. As I was walking and we were perusing the stores, my son whom is 9 asked that we go into a Gems and Stones store, which we did. As we were looking, his eyes were as big as the moon, you see my son likes to collect rocks, stones etc. Now, he came across some very cool things, but the store was extremely expensive. He asked if I could buy him a bag of rocks/stones, they were 24.99. I told him I had no money on me and rebutted with, why I couldn’t use my Credit Card. Of course that did not go well and he ended up with this attitude for the rest of the time we were walking. Of course my daughter whom is 2 started acting up, being whiny, refusing to go into any other stores, but the funny thing is she did not want to go home, when I would tell her we will be going home if she doesn’t behave.

So here I am walking around with two children that are completely disobeying me, whinny, crying, and of course those looks on their face like you just ended their world. I could not believe. These two kids that have always been good, and which I have always been told they are good kids, so why were they acting this way.

As we continued walking, yah I still walked…the day was beautiful and well I wanted to visit some shops, well as we continued to walk, we came across this little cart selling small toys and masks and etc, my son happen to see a Helmet shaped in the medieval times like a knights helmet…well he asked the price and it was 20 dollars…once again he asked that I buy since I did not get him the rocks. I told him once again I did not have money and with that attitude why would I get you anything.

I tried to explain that I could not buy him something every time we went somewhere, of course the attitude quadrupled. By then my daughter was starting to give some tantrums, which ahs never happened, and I put a stop to it, of course crying followed, so I decided to start walking back to the car to go home.

Now the crazy thing is when we got home they both went directly into a Good mood, nice, no arguing…I thought to myself, what the heck did just happen…I was upset to say the least and sent my son to his room and placed my daughter in a time-out in the corner…just about 3 minutes. I could not believe who were these kids.

I do my best to teach them respect, please and thank you and my most important thing is “Patience”. Of course I do what I can to teach them the value of money and being courteous to others. Among many other things we as parents try to teach…but one thing came to mind as I was talking, and I refer mostly to my eldest. Kids now days, actually even when I was a kid, Kids simply don’t listen anymore. It seems it goes in one ear and out the other. And if they don’t listen it could be to late when they get older.

Why does it seem that kids don’t listen to their parent’s knowledge and experiences, and then end up failing? I know not all kids are the same and not all turn out bad even if they don’t listen, but why can kids simply listen to what we as parents have to share and learn from, the parents lives, their lives would be so much more full filled and possibly even better…even successful. I mean if I knew what I know now…I am pretty certain that their would a lot of things throughout my life that I would have done differently, reacted differently, taken this chance instead of that, gone this way instead of that. I mean yah we all learn through trial and error or as many would say on our own, but if you had a parent that could share these experiences….MAN…high school would have bee so sweet, and not just high school but college, my first interview, my first job. If someone would have simply told me hey…kids are kids and you’ll be teased, called this and that, but if you do this then this will happen…I know not everything in life is the same, but I seriously see a lot of things that are happening to my kids that happen to me. And I see a lot of things that happen to my nieces and nephews that happen to me…a lot of similarities…then why not listen to your parent’s words of wisdom, or maybe not wisdom, but experiences and how they handled it.

I know I am talking as a broken record and I my kids will still do those stupid mistakes and things as we did and as our parents did and their kids and so on, but man…I am so just incredibly dumb-founded by this cycle…why…why can our kids take our words for good…who knows…maybe we will never know and maybe this is just the way things need to be.

My Perspective:
Even though your kids don’t listen, please…what ever you do…don’t stop talking to them. Communication is the fabric of life and everything in it…you know that. Thanks for reading and till next time Latino Man singing off.

Raising Kids – Past & Present

I wanted to share this, I thought about it and it is a topic that has crossed many people that I talk to, parents and of course single individuals. I am so surprised and what I hear and there so called explanation of why this is occurring in today’s day and age.

As many of you know there has been a lot of news media about children having sexual partners as early as 10 or even younger. There is news coverage about schools handing out condom to 1^st graders and about teenagers, in high school making packs to get pregnant. And the stories and events continue, I mean we all remember one of our presidents caught get a knob job in the Oval office and it seems to be all OK.

The thing that drives me bananas is that…the reasoning for this happening is…”Times are Different from when you grew up, it’s ok, and you should just flow with it”. I mean are you serious….”Times are different…” is your answer to this? I am astonished. I get this also from my sister-in-laws as well…I am seriously dumb founded.

I mean the only thing that I see different now that when I was growing up or when my parents were growing up is…technology…and the EASE of accessibility to all sorts of social networks, online access to well just about anything that we did not have such access to…so a bit more innocence was maintained before…a bit more. But changing times and Technology should not give parents or guardians and excuse to allow such behavior.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe in corporal punishment or denying your children whom they should hang out with or even date for that matter. Because we all know what happens when a father or mother tell their son or daughter not to date someone…they do anyways and in secrecy and maybe end up pregnant. I think we need to educate our children, be a parent…yah be a cool friend might get you kudos with your kids friends, but it won’t do a darn thing for the growth of your children. Being a parent is about being a parent and guiding your children through life, provided advice, direction and sometimes holding there hands on those little rough times. Being a parent is about allowing your children to explorer, hang with whom they want, but being a parent also requires you to set perimeters on what they explorer and explain the things they should not explorer, being a parent is about knowing whom your kids are hanging with, but keep guide them on those kids that may be a bad influence, by explaining, showing and guiding them through their friends…keep them close to you. Being a parent is about explaining right from wrong, about explaining the consequences of doing drugs and alcohol, not about getting grounded but the affects drugs and alcohol on the body, and the potential affects on their future.

Parenting is not easy, and sometimes your kids won’t listen, but setting rules, standard, and obligation while providing a fun environment is the job of a parent…I mean how many of us only wish for our kids to be lawyers, doctors, scientist or even President. We want our children to have what we didn’t and as a parent it takes sacrifices, but I promise that not only will you as parent be extremely and emotionally happy with your child’s success and believe me your child(ren) will thank you for their success. There is an old saying, “There is a time and place for everything”. There is a time for learning, and there is a time for playing...plain and simple. Knowing to balance those two times in your life or teaching your children to do so, will only make for a better person that will enter our society.

Now, wait…I got smack for that as well…I was told that I was raising wimpy kids that would only be bullied by those that have no rules, values or care about others. You know what I said…forget you…you see being a parent is not only teaching your kids about proper mannerism, but of course teaching your kids “Street Smarts” is also an important factor. Ok, yah some of us lived in castles, mansions, etc, but like many said technology today will allow you to research information on “Street Smarts”, look it up online…you’ll be amazed. You as a parent can almost put together a lesson plan sort of speaking and help make sure you kids aren’t bullied, but instead respected and admired…teach them to earn it and not be intimidated by others. Teach them to be kind to all, for everyone needs alliances and friends…even those bullies.

This topic can seriously touch a nerve and sometimes when I hear excuses from other parents on why it is ok, I look towards my kids and wonder if maybe I am to tough on them, but you know…I think about it and I know I am not. Because not only do they get guidance from me, I play with them, share board games, fight of monster in a pretend battle, have a tea party with my daughter, play dolls, g4row a garden and encourage them to continue doing some kind of school work while on vacation…provide incentives…heck we as adults like incentives, we get them as bonuses, baseball tickets, raises, etc. you simply see what your child likes, within reason and have them work towards it…you’ll be amazed at what children would do to get a new Lego set, or a trip to the movies or anything else.

I’m not saying I am an expert on parenting, by no means, I am learning each day, but I will not be a parent that falls on excuses that, “Everyone else is doing it”. I will continue to provide rules, structure, and guidance and most importantly love to my children until they ask me to stop. Parenting has never been easy and for those that think it is…they are lying. It takes constant checking, constant application of yourself, we can all do it, just take each day one at a time, each issues one at a time, but never forget to hug, kiss and love them…never.

My Perspective:
I think I summed it all up in my post or most of what I wanted to say at least, but we can all sit hear and tear apart this post or we can simply take from it what we want and move forward. Thanks for reading, till next time Latino Man signing off.

Parenting –

“It’s More than a Job…or is it?”

One of the most incredible things in life is becoming a parent. We all or most of us look at it as a chance to raise an individual to become the best person they can, or at least better than the parent. Many parents look through the eyes of their kids, playing sports, dance, gymnastic…things that possible we as kids did not do or were not able to do. Sometimes I think we push our own kids into things they really don’t want to do…but are doing it because they either have to or they don’t want to disappoint us. But as parents I think we know what is best for them, not necessarily because it might be, but because we have experienced what they are experiencing; so we try and guide them away from the things that hurt us as children or guide them away from the bad things we did…hoping they will not turn out like us…or maybe not necessarily all bad, but we as parents hope they become better people…individuals that will provide to the community…maybe beyond.

Parents teach most by experience, we teach the things we learned and lived through…possibly some parents will teach also from what they learn from other and their experiences. But for the most part our kids learn from us, what we do, our actions, are mannerism, are values. Of course children once they go to school will begin picking up other little annoying habits or maybe not so bad habits…but they will learn a small percentage from the outside world. But what determines their being will come from the parents…whether you parents agree with me or not…they will learn from watching you. The thing is that most of the time kids have a tendency not to listen…I mean for example. You kids are sitting in the living room watching TV, and you are of course doing something around the house, when you come across their room or the bathroom or something…and you begin to flare up. You stump towards the living already yelling at the kid, from the other room and when you do reach them and you begin to reprimand them on what you saw – how does it play out. Now, did you noticed that while you were flickering your finger at them and speaking they were looking at you and then so vaguely look back at the TV, then back at you…as you talk. I am sure since you were flared up, most parents do not notice this, many do, but many don’t and the parent simply continues on there verbal attack. How much of what you said did the child actually hear?

Of course you can go ahead and stump over and turn off the TV, and start again on the verbal attack, but once again…do they hear the words that come out of your mouth or are they hearing Charlie Browns Teacher voice? I don’t know…it seems that as parents we stress out so much more on things that the children care to do anything about. The sad thing is that most of the time these kids will not know exactly what the parent tried to do…until they are much older…and sometimes it can be too late. I don’t know…maybe not, the things is as adults we start to remember the things are parents did and we start to recollect some of the verbal bashing we got and we step back and look at our kids and say, OMG…did I do that as a kid”. If I didn’t listen to my parents, and my kids aren’t listening to me, when does this cycle stop? Or should it, maybe it is meant to be this way…the never ending cycle. Or maybe…just maybe as parents we need to change to some new tactic or possibly not sweat the little things and concentrate on the bigger issues that could potentially happen. Maybe…just maybe…if we don’t get all flared up when something small happens and let it be…then maybe our kids as they get older they will have more confidence in coming up to us for advice…you know the later years are basically the more important years…as toddlers or pre-teens it is a bit easier to manage them, but when they hit the Teens that’s the time they are exposed to a lot more and that’s when we need to be there for them…the thing is they have to want to talk to us and trust us.

It seems to not get any easier…even with what we know as parents…the things we could share with them. But if your child simply does not want to hear you out…then what can you do as a parent. Tough love…I don’t think so, ground them, temporary fix, I mean what is there out there that parents can do. Yah there are help support groups…they been around for decades…always covering the same dam issues with kids…so after 30-40 years why do we still need these support groups…I means if we have them and we help the children should there be a point in time that the kids start listening since the parents are going to these supports groups and their parents and their parents…come on…it should finally get better somewhere in time – but we all know it doesn’t. so being a parents too me has become a scary thing…??

The other day I was thinking…should having kids only be just that – having kids? I mean…should we simply have them and then let them be…simply provide them with a roof over their head and food, but other than that let them learn on their own? It sounds bad, but if you stop yelling, it doesn’t mean they will necessarily start listening…but maybe if you stop yelling…it will allow them to learn on their own. Of course if they happen to come up and ask for some advice…as parent you provide it and not necessarily push your idea onto them but simply provide what you know and see if they take it or not. I am not trying to sound cruel…but yah I am only starting off and no I am not giving up…well maybe sort of, but not…I am only trying to understand, “what can parents do to raise a good child or maybe not so good, but a child that will make good decisions or at least try to make good decisions”.

My Perspective:
It’s hard to give my perspective because I am writing this article to get a perspective. I don’t yell, don’t discipline, yell, discipline, do this do that…parenting…it is a job, and it should be rewarding…your children are always rewarding, but the process of parenting can use some work.

I do thank you for reading, till next time Latino Man signing off.