A Latinos Blog

Life Changing Decisions

So the time comes when you have to make probably one of the most difficult decisions you need to make. Millions of people through out the world do it, something in your life that could be a tremendous life changing experience. And the worst part is when innocent people are caught in the middle of these decisions. Whether it can be a life threatening decision, job change decision, relationship decision whatever is thrown on you. The thing is, I think that some of these life changing experience are for the better and as individuals I believe we have the knowledge and set of mind to make it through them; of course there are plenty of support groups out there for everything from death in the family, domestic violence, divorce, alcoholism, gambling, the list goes on. But with that said, if you have a life changing decision, there is help and we can usually make it through those decisions.

Anyways, history has shown that you are not the only one in whatever position you are in…in other words you are not alone, millions of people have gone through or going through what you are experiencing. Yah you can say that maybe we don’t understand what you are going through, and yah each case can be a (little) different, but the outcomes are always the same to someone else that has already gone through it. Take for instance a divorce. You either divorce on a good basis or a bad basis. You either both agree on the terms, or you both fight like wild animals in court trying to take the other for what ever they can…so two outcomes...that’s it. How you get there may be different for each marriage or relationship. Some people go through years of abuse, some are married for 20-30 years and just end up getting divorced, financial stress, intimate stress and so on. The trip to the divorce might be different, but the outcome is always the same.

Now, one thing that I have noticed more and more these days, because of the economy, that people that are getting divorce are doing so with a little twist. Now, this is not for everyone but the way it is happening for some couples is; if they have decided on a divorce, the couple agrees to a living arrangement in the interim, because of financial hardships that come with divorces. It also saves money between the couple so they do not complete the process, until the financial arrangements can be justified for them to live in separate housing. Once the time comes they can complete the divorce settlement and move forward with their lives. Now, some of these agreed living arrangements might be awkward, but the couples live their lives as though they are roommates, they each go about their lives with some of the couples actually dating. Yet the respect to not bring other boyfriends or girlfriends to the house holds. Yah, it’s not the best arrangement, but times change and adjust to whatever life is throwing at them, so even though this might have been frowned upon 10 years ago, it has become the norm. You can find articles on the internet on couples that live this way and it amazing to see, but of course eventually the day does come when they each take different housing.

But the thing I was trying to say is that millions of people have gone though or going through what ever you are going through…someone out there does understand and there are support groups to help you through these decision or experiences. So maybe it’s time to move on and do what needs to be done, yah ok…there maybe other individuals involved, maybe children, but I am pretty certain that everyone involved will be better off with the decision and time heals, communication opens doors and you are not alone…support groups are out there. So take the next step with confidence, assurance that you will be a happier person, the people around you will be happier and you life will return back to you with some kind of relief, or weight lifted off your shoulders.

You know I am probably writing all this because of me…ok yah I am…maybe I need to put these thoughts down on paper. I live in and out of my current housing…mostly out this last month…but yah I have been told to simply leave and that I am making things harder. But I am in one of those situations where it’s not all about me or her, or even the kids….it’s about doing it correctly and mostly ease into it. The economy is not helping out at all…looking for a rental is not cheap, considering the deposit, first months rent, electricity, phone, water, internet, etc. and not to mention the essential things in living such as a couch, a bed, plates etc…it all ads up and trying to do it while maintaining a house, and those expenses…it can over take your plans. Yah I could run out and let the courts work it out, but then that would affect too many people in the wrong way. And maybe that’s why I am writing this…to simply let me know that the time has come and that I seriously know I am not alone out there…others have gone through it and many more are going through it right now…so…how about we all together take that first step into that life experience changing “Decision”, whatever it maybe…we can all get through it. You know though I do have to say that they stinks…these decisions…that obviously change your life…wow.

My Perspective: Life always throws things at you, the outcome is always the same in whatever situation you are in, the road might be different getting there, but just like many have gone through them and made it…so can you or me for that matter. Just remember things, do, happen for a reason…make the best of it…we as humans have a desire to be happy, successful and survive, we can do it…I know so…just look back in history of mankind and look at your friends, cousins, family…it’s everywhere…it’s your time….it’s my time.

Good luck and stand strong, thanks for reading…till next time…Latino Man signing off.