Ok so…this is an interesting topic and for the most part these never turn out ok. I have heard a MANY times these just spring up out of anger and frustration and never turn out good for anyone involved and for the most part…the children that are caught in between. It’s one of those thing s that you wish you could have seeing coming and either tried to fix the problem…which most of the time they everyone involved knows…or try to avoid any unfortunate name calling, yelling or court orders. I am just so surprised that we as individuals have progressed through time and evolved into skyscraping builders and outer space travelers and have seen so may of the exact same cases between married couples and yet when the signs are so obvious we ignore them…why….why do we do that and let it turn into chaos down the road.
You know it really bugs me…when you hear and obviously see the many…many young couples or better said newly dating couples holding hands, going out to dinner, sharing kisses, gentle touches and the conversation…well…come on…don’t you remember the long night on the phone or sitting on the front porch or steps and just talking about everything and anything. Mean…I recall talking about pillows one time….so why is it that all that goes away after marriage or maybe after a very long relationship….huh…how come?
Why is that when you talk to couples having marriage problems its always the same issues…and yet many go out and get counseling…and yet the counselors already know what the issues are and probably deal with the same issues over and over again through out the years…and they make a fortune on our misery and exact married problem issues that the neighbor had….huh…why is that. You know a family member going through it, you know friend going through it, or a friend of a friend or a family of a friend, or cousin or great uncle…come on the list goes on and seriously ask them what were the issue…but listen to both sides and believe me when I say each man and woman will give you the same answer…then you sit and chat with your girlfriends and friends about it…but when the signs are there for your relationship…you ignore it…why is that…you know its true and we all do it...why…because the statistic show and have proven time and time again that the marital problems between couples are always the same issues.
That drives me CRAZY…because…ok…well...I’ll calm down…every situation is different but the cause of the issues…no matter what people say…they are always the same thing. Ok…maybe there are few case…and very rare instances…where couples just simply divorce and move on as friends, but those are far and few. Ok, so…lets assume…bad choice of word…but for the sake of this topic…you realize in your relationship that things aren’t the same anymore…the things you both did no longer happen and there seems to be distance starting to build between the two of you…so…you begin the process and try to salvage the marriage or relationship…but everything you try doesn’t seems to be working and you get to a point, whether its several months or several years, where you just had enough and you try to get out in a good manner…but things happen that delay you moving out or filing the papers, for instance loss of a job…you could really afford to place a deposit and first months rent on a place or file the papers for that matter…so you bite a knuckle and hold out for a bit longer…you find a job…so you start saving again…and then decide to move on…but then bam…your car breaks down…now for the sake of the scenario…you don’t have family nearby to go to and of course moving in with a friend is ok for a while…but eventually they would like to start receiving money…so that’s not an options…once again you have to bite your knuckle and hold off…I know…people have a tendency to make excuses…but just say these things are legitimate…ok…so you work on resolving the issue and hope to move on with your life as soon as you can…I know…things could happen and maybe you want to leave everyone involved ok…feeling closure…and if kids are involved…that makes a whole different set of other issues…so time seems to drag while you feel trapped in this relations…but maybe its not so much of a trap since you know what the outcome is…its just that that door…that path to that exit is filled with obstacles, turns, twists and well everything and the kitchen sink…but you know…you’ll get there and when its all said and done…you will be happy you did it the way you did…because your concern will make everyone’s life easier…now if there aren’t any kids involved…yah it’s ok to try, but DANG…move on…there is someone out there for everyone…someone will appreciate the person you are and the life you both share will lead to a fulfilling life…with growth and lots of love…from the very first day you stay up all night talking about everything and anything to the day you both grow old and are helping each other walk, climb, sit, clean…yah…it is real…you just have to want it.
Now the whole divorce thing is frowned upon by many religions, beliefs and societies in our world…but you know….just as marriage and the union of two people…we also always say that people deserve a second chance…so why not at marriage…yah…some go to the extreme of third and fourth and more marriages…and to me…that’s a bit too much…just be with the person and live with them…I don’t know…but if you met someone and they seems to be the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with…but then it all changed afterwards….then you deserve what you were promised…why not…if you both can’t give it to each other anymore…then move on…I am sure you both will find that person…so Divorce shouldn’t be a bad thing…it should be looked at as a “second chance” or “get out of Jail” card…yah.
You know its funny…but we all do it…we like to make ourselves out to someone we really are not just to win the heart of the other…ok…some take it to an extreme…but we all lie a little about who we really are while you are dating…a little but we do it. So, when that happens and lets say you like hamburgers…but you really don’t…so you eat one and then you married the guy/gal…then when he/she ,makes his/her famous hamburger…you say no thank you…so why lie about things that will eventually come back and bite you in the butt…huh…why? Why not be who you are from the start…don’t be afraid…someone will like the person you are and believe me….if you could be the person you are for the rest of your life with that person…you’ll both be happier.
My perspective:
I don’t want to overwhelm you…wonderful readers…so I’ll cut my venting and wish all of you a Happy week coming up and hope that your relationship is exactly what you want not for him/her, but for you.
Thanks for reading and until next time.
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