The other day I was thinking, as adults, well mostly parents, we have a tendency to try and lessen, for a better choice of a word, the drama our kids give us day in day out. I am sure most of us have been through or going through the daily drama’s our kids give us, whether they are small children with their tantrums or little individualism that crashes up against us everyday to the dramas of handling a teenager, we as adults frown upon that, we yell, ground, place in time-outs, but if you look closely it never changes, it becomes a routine. And the worst part of it all is that we have all been through it as children and teenagers; we were the same way with our parents and our parents were the same way, yah ok, as parents now, our parents would give us a backhand if we were out of place, now-a-days handing out a backhand is condemned by society so we try and avoid that as much as possible, so instead you ground the children or take away privileges’ and we know that only lasts for so long. So all the Drama our children give us and the drama we have to handle becomes a routine in our lives and we do it day in and day out.
It’s funny how parents do really know better, but of course Teenagers as well as young children test us everyday and you know we allow it, because besides punishing them or getting upset, we do nothing else to try and get rid of that habit or tantrum or whatever we may call it, we simply deal with it again when it comes up. So I ask, WHY can’t we have a generation of off-springs that will actually stop and listen to an adult, especially parents and say…”Ok you know I better not do that because my mom/dad told me that this would be the consequence, ok I won’t”, but of course that isn’t the case, as teenagers as well as young kids they go forward and do the things that is forbidden and then of course we get angry and ground and the cycle continues. Why is that? We as parents do our best to set a good example, you know, show them that hard work pays off, or that going to college actually gives you a better chance to land a job, or that being prepared for the future is the right thing to do, or of course not to sleep with anyone unless you have taken the proper precautions. Now, I have being told by other parents that we can raise our kids to be the best they could be, but that there is always someone out there, other kids, adults or groups, whatever the case may be that could possibly change the direction of our kids. But I say, if you educate your kids, lead by example, support them, and actually have some real stern ground rules and punishments in place, then why would someone have the capability to brainwash or lead your child in a different direction. Drugs, simply say no thanks, you a whose, well thank you, but I am a healthy whose, I mean I understand that it is human nature to try different things and of course it is human curiosity that pushes us to try or do forbidden things, but let’s say that you can show your kids these things and do it in a controlled environment, with you, let’s say, maybe then they will learn from you on how to handle these situations when these scenarios present themselves to them. I mean they do say that kids our a reflection of there parents or at least they absorb our habits, whether good or bad – hmm.
Anyhow, I wanted to lead into the whole drama thing into adults and of course work environment. We as parents can’t get away from the drama. You remember little Johnny always crying because he never got a turn or would never win, well believe me when I tell you that it doesn’t go away while at work or even dealing with adults, there are many adults that act as their kids do and the situations almost reflect what we see with kids…it is amazing. Ok, prime example…most companies work on “Productivity” and in order to get merit increases or recognition or even bonuses, companies associate a Point value to the type of work you perform, so lets say for every widget you make you get a point, but in order to meet a Productive day, you need 30 points or build 30 widgets, so in addition if you are being considered for a bonus you need meet 90% quality on those widgets. Now lets say that you are in the second part of the process, where you get a rough widget and you job is to smooth it out and add decals. So, you among lets say another 5 people do this job, and you all reach into a pile of rough widgets…the thing is for some reason you are faster so you happen to take more rough widgets, or once in a blue moon a special widget comes through and they ask if you can finish it. Now this can create issues, those other finishers in your group might now get as many widgets so they might not meet their goal for either production needs or their bonus incentives. Those other finishers, get upset, make a scene, talk directly to a supervisor or manager and then the manager needs to place a few rules and send a global memo stating that we all need to share in the wealth so be conscience on what you are taking. So I ask, in consideration to others, should you slow down and produce less?
I mean drama never seems to leave you, why is it that some parents get upset about their children’s drama, when they themselves can’t seems to stop with their drama. Come one, I am really certain that all of you out in the workforce, hey even just hanging with your friends, you run into drama, and truthfully you secretly say to yourself…”Are you serious, are these people for real”. Yah we all go through it, one way or another we see it and maybe it does not affect us directly but sometimes we are the ones that need to handle it…go figure. I just hope that those that handle the drama created by others do not have their own drama as well.
I am amazed at what you see at work, with friends, family, kids, significant other, I mean it is all around us and yet we do nothing to try and change it…yah ok you are thinking to yourself…”how can I”…”it is impossible to change something you can’t”, so why bother. Well, you know…”Heck with that”…I think we can, and we need to start with us, ourselves first…we need to learn to handle situations without making drama, there are ways to communicate what you want without sounding or looking like the end of the world has come. Once you have been able to get away from the drama you make, then you can start with those around you; kids, significant others, family. Yah I know you can push your values, wills, etc. onto others and you really shouldn’t but you have every right not to have to deal with drama from others, so people that care about you will respect your wishes and believe me, they will eventually thank you for removing yet another piece of “Drama” from their lives as well.
My Perspective:
As for the Job drama, times are tough, so maybe slowing down would be the correct thing to do, well maybe not the correct thing to do, but a temporary fix, while the economy gets better, maybe slowing down is wise. Once things pick up, then see nothing wrong with shining at work, showing them that you are a hard worker, you deserve the recognition, you have earned a place with the company…because you know why, this will flow over to your home life, if you are recognized, then you are a better person, and your family and friends will noticed it and be grateful and appreciative of your happiness…yah slow down for now and wait for the right moment to shine once again. As for the Drama with adults, you know…we need to start with us and make changes within ourselves before we can start changing the things around us. And if you think you can’t change people or you shouldn’t, well, if they care, truly, about you, they will respective your wishes and well eventually thank you for removing apiece of drama from their lives as well. Learn to react to things around you, stimulus, learn to communicate what you need in a relaxed, professional, calm tone…and if you catch yourself starting a little drama…hey why not…stop and count to 10 backwards and try again…communication is the key to everything…I mean that…everything. We need to be able to communicate what we want, but communicate it properly…I promise that it will lift some unnecessary weight off of you.
Thanks for reading and I hope to touch on this topic again. Be safe and Drama Free.
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