Never Ending Cycle –

I know…I know its been a very long time since I posted…no excuses…but I do have to see that kids take a lot of your time…not that I am complaining….just that a 7-year old and a 6 month old sure do require a lot of attention…actually that is the topic of my blog today…so.

“Why do kids want to learn the hard way?”

Hopefully this won’t turn out to be a philosophically topic and I don’t mean it to be…it’s something I have noticed since been married and of course since having kids. Of course I don’t base my ideas on only my family, but other families that I have come in contact with since one of my kids goes to school. I find it interesting how much you become interactive with your kids lives and there friends and families…you begin to notice things…and then it actually brought me to my question or this topic.

As parents we only want the best for our children and most of us do our parts as parents…I mean that with the most out respect, but there are some parents out there that seriously don’t care…that’s the only word I could see fit. So anyhow, we care about our kids, and we always tell them the story about how we walked in the rain for miles to get to school, or how, fortunate you have a warm meal…because when I was growing up I didn’t know where my next meal would come from; these were some of the many stories we would tell our kids…amazing huh.

It seems to work for the time being…you might just get them to eat the veggies, but it seems you have to do it every day or every other day…the same story, then we get tired of arguing and repeating so we start on the punishment…”ok…so…you don’t want to eat your veggies…then no dessert for you”. I mean this is just a simple…thing…and many parents tell me…”Oh come on…nothing is going to happen to them if they don’t eat the veggie”. But its not about eating the veggies…its about teaching our kids how to explore and try new things, foods, sports, because in life you will find that you’ll have to do things you don’t like…everyone of us does it somewhere somehow with something…you can’t deny…so why not start from an early age to teach them while they are young. Come on…unless they are allergic to the food…nothing will happen to them if they eat it…we need to teach them.

And you the best is when I get parents tell me…”Well I don’t like fish…so my kid doesn’t like fish”...wow…I was so shocked…I couldn’t believe that…seriously….I know…I know…to each there own…but we are talking about another human being that is like a white canvas…ready to make a mark in life and because you don’t like fish….ok once again if you are allergic…its possible they are…but that is something that needs to be checked to see if they are…I mean don’t deprive our kids of all the wonderful things in life…always making sure they are ok…by try.

I know as kids grow…they go through the exact same things we did…you know Teenagers…we are fearless…superman like…nothing can hurt us. They never seems to want to hear what we have to say…you did it, I did it, other have definitely did…we just don’t listen. Yet ask yourself something…”if you knew then what you know now…could you imagine the possibilities”. So why not teach our kids…what we know...why not start from an early age and tell them…son/daughter…if I knew then what I know now…it would be different…so listen to me so you can be a better person than me.

I always try to explain things to my son, letting him know that I wish for him to be a better man than me…to not pick up my bad habits and to ask me and learn from me as much as he can. I think starting off early could lead to a more confident, well rounded person. I know it seems like an uphill battle…but if we just gave up…then we just give up on them…and I truly don’t think any parents want to give up on their kids…well most I believe wish for their kids to grow up and be a better person….I didn’t say a doctor, lawyer or physicist…just a better person.

You know I have a brother in law…that always tells e to let my son be a kid…and not to get on him so much. He does that…so he says…he has two daughters…oldest is a straight A student and cheerleader…looks like she wants to head into college. The second one well…not doing to well, always jealous of the oldest…and well...you get the picture. Now, funny he get on my case..but I have seeing a few times where he has gotten tough with his oldest…you know…the…let me ask my dad if I can go to the party…around my uncle…he won’t say no. Well he does say no and he gets on them…so…the whole let them be…hmmm…on his part…I think not. I have another brother in law…with 9 kids…and well…some are nice…but it’s like a mad house…no order…no control…nothing. My brother…it seems his son was a perfect angel…did good in school, played sports, but when he got out of high school…he started on drugs, alcohol, time in jail…I always looked at my brother and thought I hope I am as good as a parent as him…but then it all went to…well. I know there can be factors, families splitting up, bad divorces, influential friends, and so on and so on. But parents, whether married or single…there is an abundance of information out there to help all parents…teach them…be their for them…listen…explain, don’t yell…and always handle things with a gentle hand.

I am not saying that all families are the same…but if you look close enough…we all go through it….you yell they don’t listen they keep doing it…and then they have kids…they yell…their kids don’t listen…and it goes on and on. Ask your neighbor…I did…they told my how there two daughters always tested them (the word every one uses)…they yelled…”stop running you’re going to fall…and BAM…they fall”. We do that with our children…one thing or another.

Of course I have been told…”Well you know that every one is different and no one kids is the same” or “Well I don’t live in a nice house or neighborhood or I can’t give my kid piano lessons”. But if you step back and look whether in a huge house, small house, a bad neighborhood, or good neighborhood, whether you are a doctor or a fry cook….look at our lives…our children never seems to listen, I am not saying there are a few exception out there…but that’s just it…there are a few exceptions out there…so why can we do it? And I mean why can’t we do it…is why do we as kids don’t feel like listening…learning from someone older…only looking for your best interests.

So, is it in our genes…meaning as kids we just don’t listen…or want to learn from our parent or adults. Imagine your kids sitting down with you and asking you everything you know about life…the mistakes you made the things that turn out right…how you handle the first broken heart…because we all go through it…imagine that…kids listening…and then taking your advise...I have thought about it and maybe it’s the delivery of the advise or the thing we want them to stop doing…maybe if we did it in a more gentler or a more fun method of explaining…hmm not sure…just thinking out loud.

It’s crazy and I am probably making no sense at all now…so many thoughts…so many ideas…and so many families in the same situation. If they would only want to learn, and have fun as kids at the same time…its possible…its just getting them…our kids…to actually follow our advise through out life…or at least for their first 18 years.

Thanks for reading, I'll try and post more often...I'll try.

The Bad Trip

Welcome to another Post…I know…its definitely being a while, but things are so busy…I have to give it to those that can post everyday or every other day…just can’t seem to find the time…but I am here now and with an interesting topic.

Now, a few weekends ago I headed down to Ensenada Baja California. This was the first time I have been there by myself since I have been married. My significant other is from Ensenada and well…since we have a new born she didn’t want to take the risk of taking her down there to young…so she encouraged me to go and represent…sort of speaking. So…I was extremely reluctant…I really don’t like the border on the way back…but since my brother-n-law was going to go and he would drive…I said why not…crazy…but I did.

So let me tell you from the start…how my weekend went. They picked me up on Friday at 8:00pm…we headed out…crossed the boarder into Mexico about 30 minutes…we had to make a quick stop to drop off some things to someone…well…we got lost…oh yah…we finally found the place around 9ish…so we unloaded the TRUCK…then everyone wanted tacos…so we went to a little stand…ate…it was about 10pm…of course beer was a necessity…so they…not me…started drinking…I am talking about the driver….so anyhow…we finally got on our way…about 10:45pm Friday…it was a crazy drive there…driver was drinking…something awkward…but we were in Mexico…we got to Ensenada around 1:00am in the morning…more drinking…I couldn’t believe how they love to drink…you know I like my beers. but come on. So went to sleep at or around 2:00am…well…if you call it sleeping…with people partying outside, cars stretching there tires…well I saw the sun rise.

Saturday morning went down stairs…guess what…they were drinking…WOW…so I went outside…guess what…the place needed cleaning for the big birthday fiesta…it was the other brother-n-law…you see he has never thrown a birthday party…so it was going to be a HUGE event…so I cleaned for most if not all of the morning…and I mean cleaned. We took off to get tables…about 6…drove back and set them up…oh yah all why the driver was drinking. They started preparing the food…and then some final touches…the party started around 5:00pm on Saturday…lots of liquor…lots. Now, I noticed that once the party started…I was pretty much forgotten about…I tried getting into the conversations, but the people kept moving away…or making up an excuse about having to go somewhere (to the next table)…it happen all night long…you just know when you aren’t wanted…seriously…some of you have been in that situation…so anyhow…I did drink but I found a point where I had enough…so around 11:00pm Saturday I snuck away…and headed towards the bedroom…well…that really didn’t do much for I didn’t sleep…pretty much half of the people there partied until the sun rose.

Sunday morning…went down stairs…they were still drinking….I could not believe it…I was wondering when they would fall over from alcohol poisoning…so they then started getting on my case…why I left…why I didn’t drink…and a few insults here and there. Blew it off…so Sunday morning I went outside and started cleaning up…you know…I seriously bagged up about 30 bags of cans (not crushed)…it was amazing…and there were bottles of Tequila…not one…not two…but about 10…and I have to mention they were HUGE bottles. So anyhow, I spent my Sunday morning cleaning. Now I was hungry…because I hadn’t eating since Friday night…because at the party they had Caguama…only…nothing else…really nothing else…and well I really don’t like it. sorry…that’s just me. I pretty much had it…so I told one of the brothers that I wanted to go get something to eat…they said…because the other butted in…why don’t you eat Caguama …I said…no thanks. So they took me to a place to eat meat…sorry for those vegetarians out there…but I needed meat. When we got there…they didn’t eat…only order beer…I ate…then I paid…which honestly I didn’t mind…I was hungry and well I wanted to go out.

So we left…but guess what on our way back…they stopped by to get micheladas…beer prepared…wow…amazing. Well…we said out good buys and around 6:00pm…we headed back to the gold old US of A. Wait…we had to stop to get more micheladas and a 12 pack of beer…for the drive…wow…well…we made it to the border around 8:00ish…we actually didn’t have to wait long… was so thanking a higher being at that moment….so we crossed I got home around 9:00pm. I pretty much jumped out of the truck while it was moving…and ran inside…yah I looked like “Leave it To Beaver” coming home…so anyways.

My dearest asked how it went…well I told her what I am telling you…and do you know what she said I was a party popper…and she didn’t want me talking about her family in such a bad way…I understand and I respect that…I guess I know where I stand…I am definitely second when it comes to the family….oh well…the thing I learned was…I will never go again to Ensenada…never.

My Perspective
Never go out with in-Laws…lol…just kidding…Thanks for reading till next time and this time hopefully sooner. Than later.

The Plan to Assist Mortgage Borrowers: Loan Modification

I thought this would be a good piece of information for home owners.

by Jack M. Guttentag
Posted on Tuesday, April 14, 2009, 12:00AM

My previous articles in this series criticized the administration's new program for Making Home Affordable (MHA) because it ignored negative equity -- which is the major factor underlying the currently horrendous foreclosure rate -- and because it offered refinance relief only to borrowers lucky enough to have their mortgages owned or guaranteed by Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac. This article is about the loan contract modification part of the program, which covers loans owned by any investor.

Like the refinance program, the loan modification part of MHA ignores negative equity and offers help only to owner-occupants. Investors are not eligible. Those negatives aside, the modification program is well designed. Its architects have taken note of a number of problems that have bedeviled existing modification programs, and have fashioned sensible remedies to deal with them.

Shortages of Trained Staff: The shortage of qualified staff by servicers, as well as the high cost of modifying loans, has resulted in many needless foreclosures that timely modifications could have prevented. The MHA remedy is to provide financial incentives to servicers to do more modifications.

Under the program, servicers are paid $1,000 for each eligible loan they modify, provided that the modified loan remains current through a trial period of at least 90 days. In addition, the servicer collects $1,000 a year for three years if the borrower stays current for that period.
High Incidence of Redefault: In the past, many borrowers with modified loans have subsequently defaulted. Many early modifications, however, did not reduce the borrower's payment, and in some cases the payment increased.

Under MHA, the interest rate is reduced to a level where payments for principal, interest, taxes, and insurance make up no more than 31 percent of the borrower's gross income. In addition, a borrower who stays current will receive $1,000 a year for up to five years in the form of balance reductions.

Restriction to Borrowers in Default: For the most part, servicers have limited modifications to borrowers who are two or more payments behind. This rule assured compliance with investor requirements that modifications were allowed only to avoid more-costly foreclosures, and it also helped servicers allocate their limited staff to the most urgent situations. But it had the unfortunate effect of encouraging borrowers to default so they could get help.

The new program attempts to remedy this by establishing "hardship" criteria for eligibility that does not require the borrower to be in default in order to qualify for a modification. In addition, bonuses of $1,500 to the investor and $500 to the servicer are offered for each modification that is executed while the borrower facing hardship is still in good standing.

Multiplicity of Modification Standards: Different servicers have applied different standards to the modification process, both in terms of assessing eligibility and in establishing the type and scope of modification. The result has been vastly different treatment of borrowers, depending on who happened to be servicing their loan. The new program attempts to remedy this by setting out standards for determining eligibility, the type and amount of assistance provided, the documentation required, and other factors.

In brief, eligible borrowers must be able to document financial hardship, defined as a monthly housing expense (mortgage payment plus taxes and insurance) in excess of 31 percent of gross income. If borrowers who qualify under this rule have a total expense ratio, which includes all other debt payments, of 55 percent or more, they must agree to obtain counseling. The mortgage payment of eligible borrowers is reduced to 31 percent primarily through temporary interest rate reductions, following procedures detailed by the government.
Unfortunately, on modifications that are not MHA eligible, the multiplicity of standards will remain.

The Second Mortgage Problem: Second mortgages are a potential barrier to modifying first mortgages because of the threat that the second mortgage lender can always foreclose if the second mortgage payment is not made. Some servicers work with second mortgage lenders, while others require the borrower to make a deal with the second mortgage lender that gets them out of the way. Under the program, "incentives will be provided to extinguish junior liens on homes with first liens that are modified under the program." No detail is provided on this part of the program, which is one of several loose ends that await clarification. It is hoped that, in tying up these loose ends, the Treasury will also reconsider its exclusion of investors from the program, which could be easily remedied, and think about developing another program directed to the problem of negative equity.

Thanks once again...till next time...hang in there.