The other day, on a Sunday, I went to a local sports bar just after work; I wanted to catch up on the days games and of course see a little of the Sunday night football before heading home…well…in a casual and relaxed atmosphere, as much as possible since it was Football season.
Anyhow, so while I was there a group of guys sat next to me and were pretty much already drunk, so anyhow through out there stay, which was three pitcher’s of beer, they were giving the waitress a tough time, lots of flirting, which I am sure they are use to it, but then they began getting a little –w hats the word – lude…I guess, they were asking for her number telling her to turn around and show them her ass-etc, and you with all that going on she was holding up pretty good, she kept serving and just smiling.
Well they ended up leaving, since one said that they weren’t getting any action here they were going to leave, the thing is that they did not leave her a tip. As she was cleaning up she mumbled and made a little complain to me about them…I smiled and said sorry…as I was saying sorry for all men in particular.
Now the thing I forgot to mention that while she was serving them she kept coming over and pouring me my beer and cleaning and smiling, even though she was not my waitress, which I thought was nice of her. Any so, as she walked away, I thought to myself that she worked hard she deserves a tip for talking the crap from those guys, so I stopped her as she walked by and gave her a $20 dollar bill…well guess what…she got offended. She took it, but then she never again stopped by my sit and didn’t even look my way as she did before. I was dumb-founded. I was thinking to myself maybe she took it offensively since maybe I gave her …I don’t know…all I know is…I am pretty sure she took offense.
Before I go on, just so you know the waitress I had pretty much never stopped by once, but I left her a $20 dollar tip from a $48 dollar bill…ok…so I tipped good when I see the waitress or waiter working hard, I tip great when they treat me a little extra…I think it is fair.
So, as not to get away from the actual topic here…do you think she got offended by me tipping her and not the actual guys? I am not a kid, and I have seen a lot in my life and experienced a lot and I am completely fair when it comes to tipping, I have worked in the Customer Service Industry and I know all about it…so I try and understand those that work hard and sometimes count on those tips. But I also understand that without the client they will not get tips…so it needs to go both ways…meaning – kindness-.
This brings me to a similar topic…that relates to getting offended. My experience has told me that now-a-days women get easily offended if a man even looks at them a little weird. I mean it is tough enough for a guy to try and compliment a women on how they look and not having to think about the retaliation they might get from the women is bad enough for men not to say anything and of course then the women gets offended because the guy didn’t say anything. It’s hard to understand…now I am sure that women experience the same thing from men…not saying, but my post is about my experience so I will talk about what I think and experience.
So, if a guy, like myself sees a beautiful women and smiles…there is a huge percentage that she will not smile back and even a bigger percentage that she will get offended. Now, you might get a few ladies that will smile and of course after a few times, possible pick up a conversation…nothing wrong with that…simply making small talk. Now, I know that not all women are the same and of course not all men either, but 97 percent of each group pretty much takes to that side. Now, it could also be due to age group, the younger aged men and women might feel more like untouchable, as we get older though…I see that many, not all men and women welcome the compliments, gestures, in good taste, that come their way. Maybe it is experience, maybe it is maturity…I don’t know.
My Perspective:
Life gives us enough problems that we need to worry about all the little things, such as receiving a tip from a stranger that maybe you were not waiting on. Don’t automatically assume they expect something in return, if you ask, you might be surprised they were only trying to be nice, if they happen to be rude / crude, then you simply thank them and walk away. Don’t take immediate offense to a kind gesture, just because.
As for compliments, yah guys, just like girls can get a little crude when they see a beautiful women or good looking man; take the whistling the “I love you’s”, the “You want to be mother/father of my children” and of course other hilarious pick-up lines just as they are…”Lines”…nothing more. So for them young folks out there, and what I mean is those under 35…if a guys whistles, howls, gestures – from a distance – just smile, take it in stride…don’t get offended. Of course no man or women should ever cross the line…meaning using offensive words, or touching…that is crossing the line. Window shopping is ok…admiring the goods is ok, stating they look good is ok.
I truly appreciate your time in reading my Blog and remember don’t worry about the little things, there are enough bigger things to worry about…and like life might throw things our way…sometimes they are pretty big…but take it one step at a time, one at a time.
Till next time Latino Man signing off.
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